Be my Mrs ... Or maybe not!

A colleague at work once said to me, "The first time I met my wife, I knew that was the woman I wanted to marry. I'd only known her the whole of five minutes, but she fit so perfectly into my initial requirements in a woman. All others criteria would follow and we will make them fit". Later on, he went on to say "We made the decision to not have sex till marriage. This went on for almost 3 years till we got married, but in that time I PLAYED very well, satisfied myself and got myself ready for the woman I wanted to marry".

Sounds very weird when you combine all parts of his speech. But then, quite a few points were reiterated for me. Most I hear from people, I never met a man who actually came out to express them.


  • First, it rang true that men do know if they can marry a woman, upon first meeting. Not to say that its always the case 100 percent of the time but most times when you hear it, best believe it. He never said anything about the cliched 'love at first sight', his was a case of being practical. No lust, no love, just practical.
  • When a man says 'let's stay off sex, then be rest assured that he's getting it from somewhere else. As a woman, you probably wont feel bad if you set the rule, as you'd expect that, as a man, he needs that 'release' once in a while. But when he sets the rule, you wait for him to explain why. Its one thing to cheat on you to your face, its another to get 'serviced' just because he's keeping the rest of his life for his prized woman. That begs the question, 'so should cheating be condoned?' -- (Gist-post for another day)
  • Another is the fact that regardless of what happens out there or within himself/family, he has his eyes set on the woman he wants to marry.
The last point then brings to question the authenticity of the following incident. Guy meets girl 4 months after breaking up with his ex (whom he could have proposed marriage to at the time he met the new girl). However, this new girl is perfect or at least, things are going on well between them. Girl senses a bit of hatred between guy and ex, so the break up was not a 'mutual agreement'. Months down the line guy explains to new girl that his ex's family especially her mother and father have been calling him to beg on ex's behalf. They have involved his family and his mother and uncles are on his case. So basically, he's dealing with stuff and 'needs time'. Here's my question, is this guy an exception? One of the ones that are confused about who to go with? Actually his point is not about who to go with, its that its harder to break free when family members have been involved. True or false? You reckon this is true or as with a lot of men, 'hes one of them ones'.


9 Cogitations:

Isaac said...

ure a work of arts, need a say more? u already know right. kk onto the next one am loving ur articles and wud love to have em published on my magazine.take a look www.ixmedia1.wordpress.send me a mail if we can work ixmagazine90@gmail.com or better yet buzz me 08036265769

mizchif said...

I'm sure i had a half sensible comment i came here to type but "ure a work of arts"?
Sorry i can't go on.
LOL!

seye said...

He's not an exception.

Mimi B said...

SMH

That guy is not serious. I have a strong feeling he is still "playing around"

I wonder how he would have felt if he knew that his wife was "playing" to her satisfaction as well. Probably furious.

The double standard strikes again.

Good Naija Girl said...

"As a woman, you probably wont feel bad if you set the rule, as you'd expect that, as a man, he needs that 'release' once in a while."

If I asked a guy to abstain from sex before marrying me and he agreed to, I would expect that he's doing exactly as he said, as difficult as it may be for him to do.

I believe there are still honourable men out there.

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