tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62111801714935958492024-03-13T00:27:59.310+00:00Cogitations On The Web; Diary Of a Nigerian GirlME!...Simply.NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-70376475387389453282011-11-14T17:58:00.001+00:002011-11-14T17:58:26.271+00:00Crushes or rather the lack of it.Someone on my twitter timeline started talking about her crushes and what age she started. She says even at age 6, she knew what it meant to have a crush. <p>I say it took me 10 more years to do what she's started at a young age. <br>I have no idea why that happened. <p>Actually, I do have a bit of an idea. <br>That last statement is a white lie and here's why...<p> I grew up with my mother as all my sisters who are very much older had left for the UK. I was in strong and capable hands. <p>Even before I reached the age of puberty, I knew the things you did when you reached puberty. My mum was very blunt about these things and she succeeded in grossing me out. She went the 'guilt tripping' route and would accuse me of allowing some boy/man stick his finger in my panties. (Till today, when I think of the way she says it, I cringe). <p> Another time, we had gone to visit a friend of hers who had a son about my age. When we got back home, she said that someone had told her he'd seen her friend's son and I on the bed, and the boy had had his pants down. I was barely ten. <p>Another day, she said she'd seen me smiling with one of the guys who lived in our compound and she was certain I was smiling with him because I'd allowed him do things he shouldn't be doing to me. Once again, I don't think I'd started secondary school here. It got so bad that I got too scared to talk to anyone in the area nor have friends ( which I wasn't very keen on anyway, because I disliked the area we'd moved to). <p>Knowingly or unknowingly, my mother had succeeded in putting me off 'discovering what puberty was and what it meant to become a woman'. So you can imagine how worse it got when I started my period ( that's a post for another day). <p>As such, I became too serious for my age. I never had any crushes, nor talked of boyfriends, let alone having one. Reminiscing with old friends, I got very surprised when I heard that in my primary school and junior secondary, people were having 'boyfriends/girlfriends' and were experimenting with kissing. I thought I didn't grow up in such environment but apparently, I did. I was just oblivious to the things that were happening around me. STUPIDLY OBLIVIOUS! <p>In senior secondary, I had a crush and unfortunately, the boy proved my mother right -- "all boys want to do is get in your pants". I'd gone to my crush's house, sat in the living room with his parents who seemed a little interested in my family and what part of Lagos I come from. Shortly after, we went up to his room and yes, his fingers did start to stray. I got up, ran as fast as my legs could take me and headed home. I didn't say anything to my mother because unfortunately, it did prove her right and that would be me setting myself up for punishment. Punishment was usually serious whooping and most times, threat of painting your sore body with freshly ground pepper. She never acted on that threat but somehow, pepper always seemed to be available and in sight. Don't ask me how she ever came up with that. <p>That was how I left secondary school without so much as a kiss nor a boyfriend. I'd like you to guess what age I got my first kiss. <p>Don't get me wrong though, I wasn't an SU or whatever they are called. I played HARD. I probably looked like one of those girls who had started out early. I wasn't a recluse and I infact became a relationship counsellor at 15. Please don't ask me how that came about. <p>Now that I'm much older, I keep thinking if my childhood had an effect on the choices I've made today? Even though I don't think about those things she said. Sometimes I think I'm the way I am because I chose to be? Or?? <p>More on that to come much later. <p>Have a great week ahead people.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone, from Etisalat. Enjoy high speed internet service with Etisalat easy net, available at all our experience centresNaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-27111694246562382352011-10-28T08:22:00.001+01:002011-10-28T08:22:27.898+01:00To ask or not?I one asked a friend if he'd had his HIV test done recently and just after that, I started to feel bad for a number of reasons but more because, regardless of how close a friend I regarded him as, I still felt like I was forcefully and wrongly invading his privacy.
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<br>That brought me to ask, as important as the question is in our dealings with people,is it still treated as a taboo?
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<br>Now forget the friends, do people with new partners or people who are about to start new relationships ask each other for their HIV status? Its easy to say there's nothing wrong with it because the basis of a relationship is trust. But I'm sure there are still some who would be scared to ask just so they don't bruise any egos.
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<br>Do most people even remember?
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<br>Should your trust begin after you're aware of their status or before? So would you ask before you kiss then? Seeing as it can be transmitted if the infected party has an open sore on the lip/ in the mouth?
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<br>Same as the sickle cell trait. I know someone who is a sickle cell carrier and makes it a point to ask if the guy (whom she's only just started talking to for about a week or so) is a carrier. Her reason being, she'd rather ask before emotions start to run high. Smart girl you'd say. I'd say that's 'ballsy' too. If he already ticks all other boxes, then that's the next step for her.
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<br>Honestly, I couldn't bring myself to do that at that point. Unfortunately, we'd have reached that comfort zone before I can ask and that's usually not the best. I'm not saying I won't, I just can't throw it in the 'getting to know you' part of the relationship.
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<br>So I ask you, honestly, would you ask you new partner for his/her HIV status before you as much as give him a kiss? Or you the AS carrier, would you be bold enough to ask before you get too comfortable?
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<br>As I thought, this one na serious JAMB question.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone, from Etisalat. Enjoy high speed internet service with Etisalat easy net, available at all our experience centresNaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-23204656982127402092011-10-21T12:14:00.001+01:002011-10-21T12:14:24.742+01:0012 Months and countingYes its been a little over 365 days since I packed my wannabe uggs and cardies amongst other things into a bin bag and dropped them in front of Òxfam, the charity store. Then I hit the streets and went shopping for white shorts and white tees. I wasn't very lucky finding shorts as summer was wrapping up but I stocked up on tees and made my way down.
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<br>A few weeks later, I was sleeping in a bunk bed and sharing a room with 36 other ladies, going 8 days straight without doing a number 2 and waking up at 4am to morning drills.
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<br>Seems like yesterday but its been well over 365 days but am I glad its over? Yes I am. Will I miss it? Bits of it. But I thank God I've been a part of it.
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<br>Now, as liberating as that sounds, I've been thrown into a world of uncertainty and idleness. Not that I don't have things to go to but when you say you're unemployed, you're automatically idle. And I could go back to my job but that's story for another day.
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<br>Where will the wind blow me? Let's see. Whilst I wait, I'll work on my pet project. I'll be discussing that pretty soon! I hope it all works out for the best!
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<br>Have a fab weekend people.
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<br>Will you be voting tomorrow?
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<br>Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone, from Etisalat. Enjoy high speed internet service with Etisalat easy net, available at all our experience centresNaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-33240523449672668992011-08-22T12:51:00.000+01:002011-08-22T12:51:25.985+01:00Be my Mrs ... Or maybe not!A colleague at work once said to me, "The first time I met my wife, I knew that was the woman I wanted to marry. I'd only known her the whole of five minutes, but she fit so perfectly into my initial requirements in a woman. All others criteria would follow and we will make them fit". Later on, he went on to say "We made the decision to not have sex till marriage. This went on for almost 3 years till we got married, but in that time I PLAYED very well, satisfied myself and got myself ready for the woman I wanted to marry".<br />
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Sounds very weird when you combine all parts of his speech. But then, quite a few points were reiterated for me. Most I hear from people, I never met a man who actually came out to express them.<br />
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<ul><li>First, it rang true that men do know if they can marry a woman, upon first meeting. Not to say that its always the case 100 percent of the time but most times when you hear it, best believe it. He never said anything about the cliched 'love at first sight', his was a case of being practical. No lust, no love, just practical.</li>
<li>When a man says 'let's stay off sex, then be rest assured that he's getting it from somewhere else. As a woman, you probably wont feel bad if you set the rule, as you'd expect that, as a man, he needs that 'release' once in a while. But when he sets the rule, you wait for him to explain why. Its one thing to cheat on you to your face, its another to get 'serviced' just because he's keeping the rest of his life for his prized woman. That begs the question, 'so should cheating be condoned?' -- (Gist-post for another day)</li>
<li>Another is the fact that regardless of what happens out there or within himself/family, he has his eyes set on the woman he wants to marry.</li>
</ul><div>The last point then brings to question the authenticity of the following incident. Guy meets girl 4 months after breaking up with his ex (whom he could have proposed marriage to at the time he met the new girl). However, this new girl is perfect or at least, things are going on well between them. Girl senses a bit of hatred between guy and ex, so the break up was not a 'mutual agreement'. Months down the line guy explains to new girl that his ex's family especially her mother and father have been calling him to beg on ex's behalf. They have involved his family and his mother and uncles are on his case. So basically, he's dealing with stuff and 'needs time'. Here's my question, is this guy an exception? One of the ones that are confused about who to go with? Actually his point is not about who to go with, its that its harder to break free when family members have been involved. True or false? You reckon this is true or as with a lot of men, 'hes one of them ones'.</div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div>NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-20888489871340463382011-07-22T16:13:00.002+01:002011-07-22T16:31:16.720+01:00Getting to know you.How do you get to know people? <br />
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By asking questions right? <br />
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Especially as we live in a world where our relationships are now 'over the waves'. We hardly do much in person. Twitter and BBM have taken over our lives. <br />
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Anyways, I digress. <br />
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Here's a scenario - people meet, get introduced, exchange pins (as is mostly the case) and kick off! They talk, perhaps ask questions within that process and 'get to know each other'. <br />
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Now here's where my problem is, recently I've been accused of 'not asking any questions'. Its happened on more than one occasion hence the reason why its become a bit of a concern. I've been told that I answer questions and don't ask any, which indirectly means I probably don't care. On my part, I'd say that's a bit harsh cos although it might ring true, its never really the case. It got me thinking though, so how do I get to 'know people'. I find that I can't really do the initial interrogation. Probably because it isn't effective for me. So when the questions end, how well do your conversational skills fare from that point? I think I'd rather study people and insert important information where appropriate. Many actually miss the fact one can say a lot or nothing in a conversation, depends on how receptive the person is to 'new entrants' in their lives. That is not to say they aren't 'interested'. So it feels rather weird when I get told "I've been asking all the questions since, I think its your turn now". <br />
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How do I deal with that? "Oh ok, so how many siblings do you have? Where do you live? What's your position in the family?" (I actually find that very archaic) but hey, whatever rocks your boat mate! <br />
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For me getting to know people involves learning how they think. Its a subconscious thing, I don't need to ask questions. Actually, I'm better off being asked questions cos I can't do the 'About You' speech. <br />
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Might seem like brain fart to some but in my mind, I've made a lot of sense. No? <br />
Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone, from Etisalat.NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-68478786204220277442011-07-19T12:18:00.002+01:002011-07-19T12:21:06.541+01:00Correct SexingThe other day I said I had a headache and my aunt said 'you need a man in your life toh ma ki e mole ti gbo gbo arun yi ma kuro ni ara e'. <br />
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Translation: you need a man in your life so he will 'do you right' and all these illnesses will leave your body. <br />
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Direct meaning of "Ki e mole' is give you correct sexing! <br />
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My question is how does 'correct sexing' relate with having a headache? <br />
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She says I complain a little too much about having a backache, stomach ache or something and that if a man roughened me up a lil, I'd either be immune to all these petty complaints or I'd have a bigger threshold for pain. <br />
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I hear you 'ahhing'. Imagine how I felt when I stood there and received the most shocking retort ever. <br />
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---- <br />
Hope y'all are having a good week so far? <br />
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Thinking of hoping on this 30day challenge! <br />
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Let's go! <br />
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Have a Cameron and Strike filled week! <br />
Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone, from Etisalat.NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-57477429934567041712011-07-14T09:20:00.000+01:002011-07-14T09:22:55.399+01:00Formula Two<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij37FgDUNDHdjgsQMjf1mvnya52IC2bxxb0jU4M-Fp44uWGIjwu4fejN73pcBdYjR-OuWYUMfLdlncsnK8RsX5Zd10ZHa_afHAl6DWYH-3YuKBI2dJZjHQYh_ViAb5ou3NO7NoCMpeO4c/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FSU1HMDAwNTQtMjAxMTA3MTEtMDcyMi5qcGc%253D%253F%253D-775400"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij37FgDUNDHdjgsQMjf1mvnya52IC2bxxb0jU4M-Fp44uWGIjwu4fejN73pcBdYjR-OuWYUMfLdlncsnK8RsX5Zd10ZHa_afHAl6DWYH-3YuKBI2dJZjHQYh_ViAb5ou3NO7NoCMpeO4c/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FSU1HMDAwNTQtMjAxMTA3MTEtMDcyMi5qcGc%253D%253F%253D-775400" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629120612993755682" /></a></p>Life just got easier.
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<br>Maybe not.
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<br>Not having a car in Nigeria is close to being suicidal. Having one adds to our traffic issues. But what can man do?
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<br>Well for me, who never started a car, let alone drove one, I had to learn. I learnt with Uncle Ben and his Beetle cos my cousin wouldn't let me touch his car. So in the 14day learning period that spun over 3 months, I grew muscles in quite a few places. At that, I know that even if its going for 50p I will not buy a manual car. If I end up with one, I'd be driven around. Call me spoilt. That, I can live with.
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<br>Now I THINK I can drive. Think being the operative word! When they say "if you know how to drive in Lagos, you can drive anywhere", that's a big bag of crap. If you drive like this anywhere else, you will either fail your test or get arrested with a big fat ticket!! Don't dull!
<br>One thing driving in Lagos helps you with though is offensive driving. When you're in a car chase, you'll fair well cos Lagos driving keeps you thinking the next car is out for you!
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<br>Plus you need extra skills to drive in flood and still avoid potholes! Talk about major brain work.
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<br>If you think you can out run the danfo guy who's high on grass and the aboki on okada who barely speaks English, I suggest you take the back seat. Literally! And watch the sights and wonders in Lagos.
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<br>Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone, from Etisalat.NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-17330059700054701122011-07-13T15:17:00.002+01:002011-07-13T16:38:31.553+01:00Just Checking<p>Many things are working against me now.</p><p>The fact that Blackberry still doesnt have an app for blogger. Either by RIM or a 3rd party, you'd think one of them would have thought to create one.</p><p>The epileptic and demented internet in Nigeria. If your life line depended on internet service either mobile or broadband, you'd be dead and decayed before you get help!</p><p>....</p><p></p><p>Ooops its home time and my free ride is calling.</p><p></p><p>Man cannot sleep in Lagos trffic</p>NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-55997620468641916072011-04-13T13:13:00.002+01:002011-04-13T13:38:22.155+01:00Undefined...Its a case of boy meets girl and they kick it off.<br /><br /><br />2 months down the line, they arent official yet, but everything makes it look as though they are. She's met his family apart from his mother and some older, married siblings. She'd met his friends, his cousins been to family gatherings and has been introduced to as many people as the time can manage. The point is, it was never under the rocks. They were out and open with it. In that time, it was all rosy and sweet. They had talked about the exes and how things ended. He broke up with his recent ex (who he was meant to have wedded the month he met her). In their minds, they had been transparent with each other. No fights, no quarrels and the likes. Although it all looked too good to be true, it was all bliss and it seemed like she had reached her last bus stop on the 'search' journey.<br /><br />Suddenly, it all starts to go awol. The calls reduce, the BB chats start to go vague and the visits practically disappear. My girl asks whats happening? His reason. I'm dealing with some things that I cant talk about. Ok, fine. My girl assumes its just for the moment. The moment turns into 2 months and they have practically become strangers to each other. No fight, nothing and its still under the premise that he is dealing with stuff he can't talk about. He starts to send irregular hellos and how are yous and when he is in town, he never offers to stop by. She is running between patience and anger. Some are saying "leave him, he'll come around and start begging". Others are saying "I think you have the right to tell him to piss off, you're not a carity case".<br /><br />Confused.com<br /><br />What should she do?NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-84264711589322037632010-11-23T09:13:00.003+00:002010-11-23T10:22:45.776+00:00Moving Swiftly on...Hey Guys!!!<br /><br />Its good to be back home. Well, sort of. Lazying about camp sort of has side effects that coming back to a 8-5 doesnt agree with. But still, its good to be back home. The final week in camp was fun actually. I went with a plan and I executed it well. I cant say much about it seeing I'm not so anonymous anymore but it revolved around making someone miserable and I think I did a good job at it.<br />One thing I noticed about the final week was the haste in which everyone got hooked up or wanted to. I, being the back bencher and a very good audience to these scenes had a lot of fun watching. Trust me, its hilarious seeing guys and girls getting all cuddly and mushy, having known each other for a few days. Worse is when you hear stories of the ones who got down to the nitty gritty either behind the camp directors office or anywhere a chair could be placed. Meanwhile, many left boyfriends, girlfriends, fiances and even husbands and wives at home. Pure hilarity, I tell you. But why am I telling you this anyway? I'm sure you've all heard a similar story or the other about the popular 3 week getaway.<br /><br />In the last post I mentioned that I wanted to ask you guys about 'moving on'. I'm sure everyone has one theory or the other about moving on from a past relationship or an 'almost relationship'. But regardless of the differences in humans and how we handle our emotions, shouldnt there be some set guides that apply to us all?<br />Taking a 4 year old relationship for example, both guy and girl got hurt and the break up is not as a result of a fight or one causing grief to the other. Say, forces outside of the relationship caused the break up, e.g religion or family matters, Health issues or what have you. When is it okay for them to move on? And even after moving other, when is it okay to 'brandish' your new significant other to the world and most importantly to the person you just broke up with.<br /><br />Take another example. Guy and girl just met, talked a lot, like each other so much but hit a road block and for one reason or the other, they cant progress into a relationshp. Although, if not for the road block which neither of them could handle, she would be a candidate for marriage. Days later, the girl starts to hear of another girl and in about a week, he's all over the place with her. Status messages, profile pictures, etc all indicating that he's found new love. Now my question is how does that happen? Especially when he says that none of it started whilst you two had your thng. So what, he had a few days to recover and find new love?<br /><br />I understand a break up where, one has hurt the other so bad that s/he would do anything to forget the past or get back at him/her but not one where you'd wish to be with that person but just cant.<br /><br />I dont want to say what my opinions are so I dont create any biases, so I'd like to hear what yours are.<br /><br />I hope you guys are having a more productive week than I am! My next post will be another question on things I've noticed since being back home.<br />Toodles!NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-23635972721561417462010-11-08T16:24:00.003+00:002010-11-08T17:47:30.780+00:002 weeks in..<div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;">Whoever said some parts of Nigeria are still backward didnt lie.<br /></div><br />I picked up my call up letter quite alright. That was after the crowd had gone mad and the NYSC officials didnt seem to show any crowd control skills. How can you have almost a thousand people queue up in no particular order to collect a letter that isnt arranged in any order. I take that back. We didnt queue up, we became a crowd that couldnt be managed where the tall ones had their noses up above the short ones and could smell their hair. God help those who had smelly weaves in their noses. One official then came out and said, he'd call out names (written in no order) and we had to queue up as he called out the names. Yes, that worked for a minute but the queue didnt move because the letters were not arranged in the order that the names were called. So once again, it became a very angry crowd. Finally the same guy came out with the letters and called out the names as he went along. That finally worked, after we'd spent almost 6 hours trying to pick up a lousy letter. After the gruelling task, the letter delivers the bad news that yes you have been posted to the state you asked for, but your orientation camp is in some remote village somewhere. Wow! How exciting!<br /><br />Fast forward to days later and Lagos corpers are heading to Iseyin, Oyo state. I was looking forward to it. Partly because I'd have the opportunity to meet lots of people and also get a last minute feel of what its like to be in a boarding school. A few miles to camp and my feet went numb. Some call it cold feet but thats for those that that can feel their feet at a time like that. Got to camp and well, let the chaos begin. In as much as I would like to delve into every little detail in regards to registration, I cant. That itself is tiring. It was one hell of a day. I got there shortly after 11am but didnt finish my registration till 12.40am the next day. Thus leaving me with 4 hours to sleep, wake up and get ready. Well, I didnt get any sleep, so I had loads of time to get ready. With an 18 man room, I wonder how people still managed to snore away and sleep comfortably on a metal bunk and a mattress the width of a notebook.<br /><br />Days went and so did the people. Many stayed to register and then found their way out, others took more drastic measures like scaling the fence. I had no escape route, so I had to stay put, in as much as I wanted to leave so bad! I mean seriously, how easy is it to manage in a place where there are pit latrines in place of toilets and open air cubicles in place of shower areas. SERIOUSLY HOW!!!!???? I managed to have a shower once in a while but hell no was I hovering my bum over a hole in the ground. As God would have it, my mind and my body were in sync and I didnt need a number 2 till sunday when we finally broke out with an 'atm pass' and headed for the nearest hotel. There we shat, showered and crashed. Forgive my crude diction but it has to be said in its crudest form for you to understand how bad it was.<br /><br />Next day, I played a tiny bit of volleyball and managed to 'sprain' my ankle. Call it whatever you want, but I managed to get my exeat and with all the fuss I made, I got the rest of the 2 weeks off! Haha SUCKERS! The patient dog always gets the fattest bone, I kid you not!<br />I've been home for a week and now I want to go back. I'm more bored at home than I was in camp! So I'm packing my bags and I am off tomorrow. Lucky for me, it finishes on friday, so I'm sure my bowels can rest for another 3 days! Hehe!<br /><br />I shall be back soon with a post on 'moving on and the barriers we create for ourselves in relationships'. I have questions! I need them answered by my very able blog fam.<br /><br />Its EID next week and to my fellow muslim brothers and sisters, Eid Mubarak. To others, I say, enjoy the meat!<br /><br /><br />xxx<br /></div>NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-83090014729485238012010-10-14T10:14:00.004+01:002010-10-14T15:12:41.045+01:00Anybody home?<p align="center">I blame twitter. I blame twitter. I blame twitter!</p><p>Shows how easy you can be cheated on, even when offered less. 140 characters and everyone seems to have lost the zeal to rant with the many words that blogger has to offer.</p><p>Anyways!</p><p>Touch down Lagos. Well 2 months in and need I say it hasnt been easy. I love it still.<br /></p><br /><p>Almost 7 years since I last saw this town, a lot has changed and a lot hasnt. The parts that have changed are most beneficial to people like me, so really I can't complain. The journey back was filled with anxiety amidst the elation to be back in this much loved town. I have no regrets as yet. Its been hard no doubt, but still no regrets. </p><p>I have had more experiences in the last 6 weeks than I did in the last 7 years. The most recent being my boat cruise. Well, more of a machine powered canoe to cross the waters between Ikoyi and VI. Another traffic dodging strategy I thought I'd found, but alas, I have to use everyone else's strategy. Leave home early to beat the traffic.</p><p>On the entertainment front, I have been to a few bars with my cousin and one thing I absolutely abhore is the smoking. On 2 occassions, I've had to wash my hair as soon as I get into the house. Its annoying to think people smoked this much. Arrgh! I also went to Lord of the Ribs; a show organised by BasketMouth. The highlight of the show for me wasnt the comedy, but the artists that came on later. From Jesse Jaz and MI, with little or no stage presence, to Wizkid who serenaded the crown with his 'Tease Me' and 'Holla at your Boy'. Though the kings of Serenading should really be Iceprince with his 'Oleku' and Banky W's 'Strong Tin'. King madness is none other than Terry G who blew the crowd away, though the best I could do was sing along to the 2 or 3 lines I knew. Gosh too many artists to remember but the one that killed it for me was Tubaba himself. Now I really see why we all love him so. Plus He and Sound Sultan were the only ones that performed with a live band! Commendable performances, I tell you! That has been the highlight of my return so far! I'd like to top that up with a visit to the theatre soon but in the mean time, I made do with the Chill and Relax open mic night! Very soothing atmosphere and there, you get to appreciate talent. </p><p>Coming up; Chronicles of the newest corper in town! Yes, that dreaded moment is slowly crawling up on me. Letters are out next week and then I'll know which state my fate lies. Hopefully, I wont faint when I pick the letter up and I wont cry when I get to camp. All the stories havent really done me any good.</p><p>Oh and Yes, I finally met some of my blogger friends. One really awkward meeting. Actually make that two and dont ask why! </p><p>I have actually missed blogger and I cant go anywhere. This is the closest I can get to being published. Hehe!</p><p></p><p>PS:</p><p>Speaking of Banky W, I bumped into him on the elevator and errr, he isnt as cute as I thought.</p><p></p><p>Later my lovely people!</p>NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-11486781721666776912010-06-27T15:30:00.002+01:002010-06-27T15:35:16.134+01:00Its my birthday..and I can get high if I want to.<br />Its one day where Im the centre of attention and I hardly get any of that so I'm loving it.<br />As usual, got the beautiful jewellery presents from my sister. Sapphire earrings and I cant complain.<br />Though I thought someone would at least make use of my Amazon wish list.<br />Oh well, the day hasnt ended yet!NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-85568374391366799332010-05-08T22:04:00.001+01:002010-05-08T22:04:36.188+01:00BoundariesRules apply. <br /><br />Everyone believes you should know what to do and what to say in a relationship. Be it as friends, lovers, siblings or co workers. <br />Some things should just not be said and some, not done either. <br />But how do you know where these lines are?<br />We all know or have at least heard the saying that "your friends' ex is a no go area for you", talkless of your siblings'. Who came up with this rule?<br /> Understood, you shouldn't pick up someone else's reminants but what if the situations were different? Maybe she hurt him, didn't appreciate him or just doesn't think he's right for her, but in your case, he's a perfect match. That aside, hes still the ex, if we decide to cast a blind eye on the reasons for their break up. <br /> Notice the keyword being "ex" not current. So I'm still trying to understand why this particular rule applies. Cos a friend recently got into trouble for talking to her friends ex boyfriend. By talking, she means skype conversations. I've said to myself that it's wrong for her to do so, but I can't place a finger on one particular reason why. It's just something that's not done. Now she claims there's nothing between her and her friend's ex, they are just friends, but now her friend has gone stark raving mad saying she just shouldn't have. Now my question is why ?<br /><br />Boundaries as friends. Should there be things that you should and shouldn't say to a "friend"? It's a common belief that you should be able to say anything to your close friends. You should be able to put them straight when they seem to be heading the wrong way, but some don't seem to want to hear the truth, they just believe it shouldn't be said. They come to you for corroboration, and as the friend you have to give it. Now this isn't done.<br />I think things that shouldn't be said revolve around matters thar probably hurt your friend, everytime they are reminded about it or as with the case above, the ex says something contrary to what your friend has said and you'd rather not confront her about it cos maybe you take her word over his and won't need to confirm anything with her. <br /><br />Am I right? Or I seem to be getting these rules wrong? If so then where's the thin line?<br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-82160957225720973862010-04-23T14:00:00.003+01:002010-04-23T16:31:45.814+01:00Time of Death: UnknownEver wondered when you might die? Or in which manner you'd choose to go when the time eventually arrives?<br /><br />I do and I often also wonder who would remember me or miss me when I'm gone. Not a lot I can say.<br /><br />I know quite a few who have died, some very close and others even closer. The feeling is awful and I think its harder to bear if you were with them when they took that last breath. When you see the person's journey come to a complete halt! When they cease to be and you don't get anymore 'I love yous' or 'Be good' or even the 'How fars?'. For some, that's all it takes for them to recount their steps and take each day as though its embellished in precious diamonds. Treat each day like its a newly found treasure. Live with meaning.<br /><br />Yesterday I heard the news about Da grins death and I started to weep. It felt like I'd never known anyone die. Like my best friend had just been taken away from me. Only he never was my friend. He was never even popular on my iPod. In fact at some point, I'd known his songs for a while, I just didn't know they were his. He was just another artist to me. Another Naija artist.<br /><br />I got offered his CD by a friend in Nigeria and I declined it under the premise that I was only familiar with a few songs of his, some of which I didn't quite like. So taking the CD would quickly wear out his novelty with me.<br />Weeks later I heard my friends go crazy over 'Kondo' and I asked my aforementioned friend to send me the song via blackberry messenger. She refused saying I should have taken the CD when she offered. We both laughed it off but I still didn't get the song.<br /><br />Months later, last week, I was out with friends. The DJ dropped kondo and the crowd went mad. Literally. Some stood on the sofas and started to jump like a child would do on his father's kingsize bed. Then I found out Da grin was supposed to be at a concert here in the Uk. I smiled. Nice one I thought. I spoke to my cousin who's part of the organisers of the concert and asked about the concert. His words: 'that concert is going to be mad whether enemies like it or not'. I asked what do enemies want with your event? He said didn't you hear Da Grin had an accident. I responded that I'd actually seen it on some BBM statuses and gone to read a story online about it. The source in the story had said 'he's lucky. He should thank God for his life'. The concert is slotted for the 31st of may'. I said to my cousin, 'Not to worry, he has a month to recover, he'll be here'.<br /><br />God had other plans.<br /><br />I saw the first status message and then the 2nd and then I started to weep.I hoped it was an expensive joke. A joke I was willing to accept and not complain about whoever had started it, just so he'd be alive. He had to be. But he wasn't. <br /><br />I think about death and I think about everything in life. It all ends one day.<br />Now I don't make plans. I can't. Each day is a new one. Its a fresh start. That way, I don't lose too much when I go. Actually I don't lose anything.NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-55367418069094811062010-04-09T06:21:00.002+01:002010-04-09T07:09:33.349+01:00its just a numberIs it?<br /><br />Age I mean? Is it just a number?<br /><br />Apparently, a rule in relationships, that goes without saying is ' the man having to be older than the woman'<br /><br />Now I'm asking why?<br /><br />Why does it have to be so? Is it because women feel a lot more secure when he's older or....? Sorry, I've got nothing. <br /><br />Apparently, another rule again, that usually gets bent is that women shouldn't even go for their age mates, let alone one who's younger. This particularly applying to those women who have marriage next on their 'to do' list. Hence a guy who's ticks ALL the boxes isn't good enought because he's a few weeks younger. <br /><br />I'm still not sure where these rules come from but I can safely say its the African or maybe just Nigerian mentality. We have decided to live by the supposed study that posits that men are seemingly 5years younger than women their age. How true that is, I don't know. Even if, its a study, have we confirmed what the sample size is? If its a bunch of teenagers, I'd gladly accept the inferences of that study without blinking. But does this mean that all women stay 5years ahead or the gap starts to reduce at a certain age where a balance is achieved? Not to say that the woman has reached a halt on whatever its it that gets her ahead, but that the man is catching up ie we are fast, they are slow but we all get there in the end. <br />It all looks like brain fart right, but I think I need to find that study, so my arguments can be a little more coherent. <br /><br />Anyway, back to my point. Another reason why this rule may stand is possibly (once again applying to those in marriage age) because she's ready and he isn't. Now that may be true for a fact, well mentally that is. But I'm not sure a lot are thinking its a mental state, rather for most, its a physical thing or just because his social status hasn't really peaked. Which is it? I'm not sure, because outside of our mentality, its ok for Mariah Carey to dote over someone who's no less than 10years younger than she is, same going for Demi Moore. However, these women are heading to their forties, if not in it already. But if she were 25 and he, 15, would it still have been ok then? For me, either way, the 10year gap still applies, whether twenties or forties <br /><br />So what's wrong in going for a year younger? Or let's raise the stakes to 2years and not trying to go for 10 like the Demis and Careys do. Anything wrong with it?<br /><br />I asked a friend once if she would date a younger person and her response was ''NEVER''. I asked another and she rolled her eyes like it would go out of fashion and then said, or rather asked, ''Are you stupid?''<br /><br />But really, Am I?NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-74060730737312265152010-03-29T21:23:00.001+01:002010-03-30T21:19:16.994+01:00Same old story!I know!<br />Apologies bla bla. Same gist!<br />Who knows when next I'll be back here, so I'll apologise for the next time I won't turn up. <br /><br />My life never lacks drama and two thirds of it is unnecessary family headache. I need a life of my own, where no one feels the need to order me around like a robot!<br /><br />I came across something I put together a while ago and whilst I re-read it, I realised it only made sense to me the day I wrote it. After that, it just looks like I needed to regurgitate every word in my head that seemed to express the way I was feeling but in a very incomprehensible manner! <br />Below is what I call 'faeces of words'. No pun intended but it is absolute shit! <br /><br />''When you have never known austerity, you never see life in the eyes of one who has. Seeing how they live does not equal knowing how they live. Knowing how they live does not equal feeling how they feel either.<br />They say, tough times are temporary. To some, it comes to pass. To most, it is a way of life and the belief that better times are temporary plays a more familiar tune with them. <br />Beside you is a dead man walking and beside him is another. You. <br />The game is tagged "survival of the fittest" when in reality it should be called "surviving the survival of the fittest". When the dead man walking strives to survive and then should he overcome, the battle to sustain becomes paramount. Where breathing is no longer the chore, staying alive is and the feverent need to be relevant continues to persist.<br />Should the dead man walking start to believe that "hard times are temporary", the need to do things the right way points the scale mark at zero. And if the scale marks read negative, a new rule is set. "An for an eye". A rule adhered to in its most literal and figurative forms, that ensures that the next man canot easily place blame. His society is accepting of his shortcomings.<br />Shortcomings are not inadequacies.<br />Short comings are not mistakes.<br />Shortcomings are not crime.<br />Shortcomings are a way of life<br />Shortcomings make better times temporary.''<br /><br />To think that now that I have a blackberry, I'd blog more often! Kmt!NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-80533295013600334512010-02-24T16:48:00.000+00:002010-03-01T13:52:37.296+00:00We are the world''We are the children''<br /><br />So goes the lyrics to Michael and Lionel's song. Recently it's been used by various artists to raise money for the victims of the Haiti earthquake. An equally touching version was done by 57 YouTube artists. I must say I commend their efforts. <br /><br />This got me thinking about the various stories I'd heard regarding this Earthquake and also our efforts as fellow humans to help others. <br /><br />Firstly on the earthquake. Many have said God has forsaken the Haitians, there's so much voodoo and other unGodly acts going on there that He feels the need to wipe out their existence. I won't preach what I don't know but I'm sure we all have our views in these utterances and the religious ones amongst us know not to question God in His decisions whether this particular one is His or not. <br /><br />The non religious approach would seek to ask why there is a settlement is an natural disaster prone area? What would then be the decision? For them to move? Would we then ask the millions of Japanese or Indonesians to move as well? Where would they move to? It's totally out of the question. But should we help the Hatians bring their nation back to it's feet, only to have it in a rubble within sixty seconds by the powers of the almighty natural disasters? Or help them survive these trying times. <br /><br />It's a sad sad story. Please let us do what we can to help them <br /><br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-53298628180972827332010-01-28T23:34:00.001+00:002010-02-01T21:47:01.093+00:00Hopelessly RomanticTis the season of love. Well on this side of my room. This is a mushy playlist inspired. Please see it as such. <br /><br />Apparently, I'm a hopeless romantic, according to my friend. That's because I say 'aww' when she affirms that her dad has met her boyfriend. <br /><br />What makes me hopeless, in my opinion, I have no idea. Other than the fact that I love being sung to. I'm not one for the grandiosely written stanzas or endless letters. I'd rather not have those. I'd love for 'us' to have 'our' song that would force a smile if he heard the busker cover it on the underground and cause him to drop a pound just because it brings me to the forefront of his mind for that split second. An added bonus would be if he could sing it. That's bliss for me. One would ask why I live in such delusion? That these men are hard to find. Well I want to believe that you can only be drawn to someone if you both have a common ground, if you share interests. I want this, if not more, to be our common ground. I guess this may mean that I might be single for a while, but I'm allowed to build dreams, live in them and imagine these may exist, someway, somehow.<br /><br />I've seen boring marriages where I can see that there's love but there's no form of endearment. I dont want a boring man in that aspect. I don't want presents on every valentines day, I want holding hands to not be a figment of my imagination, nor a thing of our 'dating' days. I want to rub my husbands head and be able to tell by his reaction, at that moment, that there's something amiss or forsee a problem. I don't want a rigid man who thinks birthdays and anniversaries are all about cards and gifts. But that stroking my hair holds more water than a new handbag.<br /><br />My list is endless but it shall stay in my head, where it makes more sense. On paper it sounds like the mind of a 14year old<br /><br />I live in my own little bubble and thus oblivious of the fact that these are far fetched. I refuse to believe.<br /><br />A bubble that confirms that I am indeed a hopeless romantic.<br /><br />But hey, it's my dream, not yours <br /><br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-32462176166389876272010-01-12T22:41:00.000+00:002010-01-12T22:42:48.497+00:00Sibling RivalryYes, that's my burden for this year. For many years now and maybe more. <br /><br />No preambles today. I'll go straight to my worries. I have 3 older siblings who are 2 years apart each, but the lowest number of years between myself and them is 13 years. *Do the math. I like to feel a little cryptic with myself. Allow me to amuse myself*<br /><br />Anyways. They were boarding school students so I never saw them very often and as soon as they finished secondary school, they left for the UK. So I grew up with me, my ears and my mother. <br />I heard from them often. Here's how. The first would call home, speak to my mother and say a quick hello to me. The 2nd wrote me countless number of letters and the third, said hello via birthday cards. <br />One more thing, here's how we bonded. The first dealt with my clothes and shoes, I never lacked. The second bought me books and my first dictionary, albeit half eaten by her boyfriends dog and the other, well random things here and there. <br /><br />I was a sucker for letters and anything called a book, so it goes without saying who I bonded with the most.<br /><br />Now growing up, I had no favourites. They are all my siblings. I love them all.<br /> <br />Fast forward to end of secondary school and I'm leaving Nigeria and headed for the UK. The oldest believes I'm supposed to join her in the US. I refuse, very politely. I mean my first nephew by her is just about 3 younger than I am, so I definitely can't be rude<br /><br />I choose to stay in the UK with the second and all hell is let lose. <br /><br />Both of them have had fights since they all got to England. This is going on 20yrs. Now it looks like I've taken sides in a matter that has been going on even before I could read. <br /><br />At this age though, I feel like I have a right to take sides. Especially when one party says harsh and evil things to the other. So much so that it's detrimental to her life, to her marriage and to her sanity. Sorry why am I not allowed to take sides? When the side I chose was the one that could be bothered to ask me what I wanted to do? Rather than force nursing down my throat like medicine. So no one has the right to be upset that they weren't told I'd graduated. If they bothered to ask what I was doing, then they wouldn't need to find out from facebook that I'd bagged that certificate.<br /><br />So no one has any right to call this side and ask to call the other side. For what I ask? For what reason? Because that side is god and I'm supposed to have my tail between my legs and return home like the prodigal child. Excuse my French but that is bullshit served on a platter. <br /><br />I have been quiet, but I shan't any longer. It is unfair that I have to do anything. 4 or 40, no individual is too big to apologise. And if they are, well I'm assuming they are too big to accept one, so none will be rendered on my part <br /><br />Unfortuantely, ties have been severed and people like my almost 20yr old nephew and his siblings will be the ones to suffer for it. <br />But right now, in as much as I feel for those kids, I could care less about anyone else. <br /><br />And to think they didn't see all these coming as kids. They apparently had a great time as kids. So God knows what happened during the transition to adulthood. <br /><br />Lessons learnt though Most of all is to be able to detect these signs in my kids and avoid the he'll I've been through for them. <br /><br />I hope we all do<br /><br /> <br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-58780917691227192942010-01-11T14:53:00.000+00:002010-01-11T14:54:21.436+00:00The lightIt's bright<br />It's White<br />It blinds<br /><br />From afar<br />A speck amongst millions<br />From within<br />A glow that lights millions<br /><br />I feel the light today<br />Everyday!<br />I glow in the presence of light<br />My skin beams<br />My cheeks, rosy as they are<br />Alternate between the shades of glow and red<br /><br />The light approaches<br />Closer and closer<br />It's on me, just me<br />And now, I'm the star of this show<br />It's the light of the show <br />It transcends beyond my person<br />There are no shadows<br /><br />I take centre stage<br />As I am the star<br />And it is the light<br />So, it is my light<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Written in one of my moments, just one moment. In the space of that moment. In the hopes that I'd read it to someone. I didn't and so it sat in the book, as with many others. But todsy, it's finally seen the light of day <br /><br />I hope everyone has a bright week <br /><br /><br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-13239748763146182362009-12-31T21:47:00.000+00:002009-12-31T21:54:42.998+00:002009 in a few wordsOh long overdue. I know<br /><br />So since Juiceegals 'stock take' post, I thought I needed one too. <br /><br />I don't do new year resolutions. I don't believe in them, more because I don't hold the means to make them happen, well this only applies to my own resolutions, I have lofty dreams. I have dreams and hopes and I can only pray that they come true. So anyways an account of this year. <br /><br />I started this year with a big dream, to see the end of my degree. To some, it's not a big deal. To me it was as I had so many hurdles and hitches along the way, right up to weeks before. But now, I can only be thankful for getting to the end. It was worth the effort. I believe that, for me to have seen the end, God does have plans for me. <br /><br />I started the year a happy person. Mid year saw the peak of this. You know like the movies, where halfway through is the climax. Yep! That's exactly how I was. All of a sudden, it all took a drastic turn downhill. The speed it all happened was overwhelming but they say when life throws you lemons, you make lemonade out of it. Rather, I chose to dwell on the sourness of these lemons. How I got out of it, I have no idea. But I'm glad I did. <br /><br />Moving on, once again this year, I made new friends, mostly bloggers, a few random ones and got closer to already known ones. I must say that of all these, I can count a few that I'd still want to be acquainted with. Why? I've found that my view on people has made me become sort of a recluse. People are entirely different and unfortunately there are some differences that I can't deal with. I believe there are certain attitudes that I believe people should have. You know? those that go without saying. I find that many are fake and I can't deal with fake people. I can't deal with insensitive people. That's just me being naive, I'm sure there are worse but, I hope I don't have to deal with it all<br /><br />This year, I planned on moving home. But as God will have it, plans change and as such, I've resorted to moving on with life here. When the time comes for me to head home, I surely will.<br /><br />Every year, I pray to God for a better relationship with Him. I pray mostly for continuity in my faith. It's one thing to have faith, it's another to carry on with it. I've had so many downs and I must say the last few days have seen a sharp decline in my faith. I haven't said my prayers as I should and when I remember to, I don't. Tonight, as with many others, I will say special prayers, most especially for my faith, for me to build on it and be stronger than I am. <br /><br />This time next year, I want to reflect on 2010 and still be thankful for progress made. I still have a long way to go and I still have one more hurdle to cross before I feel completeness in it's entirety. When that's done, life can truly begin for me and all other things will follow suit.<br /><br />Some say what's the big deal with a new year? Isn't just another day? Surely it is, but it still marks 12 months since you last saw the 31st of December. So if anything, let's all be thankful <br /><br />And That's my very undetailed recap of 2009. I wish you my blog family a very happy new year. Let's make 2010 another great year for ourselves <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br /><br /><br />NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-4501854364367272542009-12-08T20:33:00.005+00:002009-12-08T21:40:37.615+00:00A little ClarityHaving heard so much about the Vera show, I followed the link on Fabulola's post about the whole Ray Ray fad (Now I don't look stupid on twitter anymore when they are ranting over it) and clicked on the latest show.<br /><br />Anyways, not to digress and make it quick, I downloaded the latest show, '<a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/profile.aspx?userurl=verastic">Christmas gifts that should</a>' or so its called and Vera co-hosted with Funmi. The topic was on Christmas gifts and somehow they veered into 'Sallah' and how Muslims celebrate.<br /><br />First off, this is not a hate post. If you think it is, please kindly take the Northern line to Waterloo and jump off Waterloo Bridge.<br /><br />I'd just like to clarify a few things, to people who are perhaps in the same school of thought as Funmi. Please bear in mind I have paused the show, so I cant even tell if these were her thoughts when she was growing up or if she still holds them now. So it stemmed from what she said, but has nothing to do with her.<br />But for some who'd rather not seek a clearer explanation or for those that just don't know, here is a little about Islam's festivals, just so you know and can at least be informed. At least, in primary school I was bombarded with C.R.K and can tell the Nativity story better than some Christians would, so why not?<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Speaking of which, let me digress a little. My sister was listening to BBC Radio 4 the other day and she said that on one of the shows, the host said quite whimsically that he went to his daughter's Christmas school play: the nativity story and after he came out, he said to himself, "that was the story of Jesus, but there was no Jesus in it". I had to laugh at that.</span><br /><br />Okay back to the point. The Festivals are called Eid and the suffix usually denotes which Eid it is. Eid ul Fitri is the one right after the month of Ramadan when Muslims have fasted for 30 days and Eid ul Kabir is the one where the Ram is Slaughtered.<br /><br />As you may be aware, we go to the prayer ground in multitudes, those practicing and those who don't: that's the day you know your neighbour is muslim because he is dressed in his best clothes and headed for the National stadium (for those in Surulere, Lagos). We go there to perform a special Eid Prayer, thanking God for seeing another Sallah day. Let's just say its the same way Christians head for Church on Easter and Christmas days.<br /><br />In Islam, there are many ways to secure God's mercies, most are detailed in the Quran and Hadith and some are just the daily doctrines and ethics that we all should know with 'common sense'. The fasting for example is significant in so many ways. For one, it helps to improve your relationship with God. You are meant to cleanse yourself physically (avoid eating junk) and mentally. Devoid yourself of all forms of sin for those 30days, in the hope that once the 30days are over, you will carry on in that manner. Further, it is for us, as Muslims, to put ourselves in the shoes of the needy, however we decide to define them. There are many whose lives are austere and do not have the opportunity to have 3 square meal, let alone access to drinking water. With this, we are meant to be thankful to Allah for all that we have and as we have 'walked in their shoes', we can be more accommodating to them and most of all, get closer to God. Before the 30days are over, we offer a mandatory share of our wealth (zakat) to the said group of people, however much we can afford (as it is according to your earning) in order that they may be happy on the Eid day as well and have enough to celebrate with just like you are.<br /><br />Eid ul Kabir on the other hand, signifies the sacrifice that Ibrahim (Abraham) made to Allah in place of his son. Once again, it is for us to be thankful to Allah for the things He has done for us. What if, in this day and age, sons need to be sacrificed and for some reason we all (both Christians and Muslims) still followed it, would we all be happy? No?? (I'm just saying though, I bet, if that existed, it wont be condoned, so don't quote me on that) What I'm saying is that the slaughtering of the Ram is meant to put us in the state of mind that Ibrahim was in those days and help us to feel remorse and be Thankful for where we are today. So it is in no way 'A TABOOED OFFERING' neither is it a sacrificial lamb to appease some god.<br /><br /><a href="http://islam.about.com/od/hajj/a/adha.htm">More</a> :<br /><br /><p> </p><blockquote><p><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">During the celebration of Eid al-Adha, Muslims commemorate and remember Abraham's trials, by themselves slaughtering an animal such as a sheep, camel, or goat. This action is very often misunderstood by those outside the faith.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> Allah has given us power over animals and allowed us to eat meat, but only if we pronounce His name at the solemn act of taking life. Muslims slaughter animals in the same way throughout the year. By saying the name of Allah at the time of slaughter, <span style="font-style: italic;">we are reminded that life is sacred.</span></p></blockquote><p style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"></p><br /><br />As with regards to Muslims praying <span style="font-style: italic;">some</span> prayer before we kill the animal, that is what makes it befitting for us to eat. It means we bear in mind that Allah has created these animals and though they are provided for us to feed on, we are not supposed to suck the air out of them or kill them however they are done in some abattoirs. It makes it haram (forbidden) for us to eat.<br /><br />The Halal Food Authority further explains this:<br /><br /><blockquote><ul><li>.... require animals to be alive and healthy at the time of slaughter, since carrion is forbidden and, jugular vein, carotid artery and windpipe<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">have to be severed by a razor sharp knife by a single swipe, to incur as less a pain as possible.</span></li></ul><ul><li>All the flowing blood) must be drained out of the carcass, as blood is forbidden (Quran 6 V145</li></ul><ul style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><li>Forbidden is an animal that has been killed by strangling or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall </li></ul></blockquote><br /><br />I hope this gives enough clarity. If you have other questions please feel free to visit <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">credible</span> sources wherever you may please.<br /><br />Its for my sake, so that I am not called what I'm not and for your sake, to not sound ignorant in public.<br /><br />PS: Regardless, I think back home, Muslims and Christians celebrate together more than anywhere else I've been. Do the British know what Eid is? Let alone give us a holiday.<br />Oh Please dont make me laugh.NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-1922820631045911392009-12-07T09:31:00.002+00:002009-12-07T10:02:36.629+00:00Trust me?I'm sure loads of people have stressed this topic and opinions are saturated on this front. But I got thinking lately, on how trust is generated, maintained and possibly lost.<br /><br />When people say 'oh that girl is so trustworthy', what do they mean? She can be trusted to deliver? Or she can be trusted with a secret? Does it mean you have faith in the person? Or you just believe that the person has your back wherever you or they may be? How is trust quantified?<br /><br />In relationships, we talk about trust being the foundation of a good relationship and when it starts to waver, then we say that there seems to be a problem.<br /><br />Trust is a human attribute, agreed?<br /><br />So why then is a 'trustworthy' person given extra props if its meant to be an attribute that we all should have. It's just like those who argue that Fashola shouldnt be given extra credit for his work in Lagos state, because its his job anyway. Same goes for why should a person be given lofty praises when we are all supposed to be trustworthy. Would you compliment someone for breathing? I think not.<br /><br />Its been dancing around in my head what other people's definitions of trust is? By that definition, what then does the said individual have to do before they lose that trust?<br /><br />I ask because recently, I have been let down by many and I'm beginning to think if I have the meaning of trust misconstrued. I believe that when I trust people, they will not hurt me in anyway. When they do, they are honest and apologetic about it. Or at the very least accepting of the situation, even if no extra effort is made to rectify it, as the damage has been done already.<br /><br />So whats your definition of trust?NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6211180171493595849.post-71100993493751206132009-11-21T22:27:00.002+00:002009-11-21T22:30:36.267+00:00Long GoodbyeThe Lyrics suffice as a post in itself.<br />I listen to this song so much to the brink of tears.<br />Its an amazing song<br />And I hope a lot of people appreciate that there is talent<br />And it brews in the words and voice of India Arie.<br /><br /><object width="445" height="364"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ywe9nxANu1I&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ywe9nxANu1I&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="445" height="364"></embed></object><br /><br /><span>Lyrics:<br /><br />I say I love you<br />You say that's kind<br />You don't wanna get too close<br />You loved me crazy<br />I lost my mind<br /><br />Listen<br />You're everything I never wanted<br />and all the things I didn't need<br />This ain't who I wanna be<br /><br />You don't have to stay forever<br />I'll take passion over pride<br />Full moon, high tide<br />Let's make it a long goodbye<br />Tomorrow we'll pick up the pieces<br />Try to mend our broken lives<br />Soft kiss, sweet lies<br />Let's make it a long goodbye<br /><br />I cried in silence<br />I lived through you<br />I've given everything away<br />and maybe I can learn to fall<br />For someone who can give me all<br />The things I"m not afraid to lose<br /><br />You don't have to stay forever<br />I'll take passion over pride<br />Full moon, high tide<br />Let's make it a long goodbye<br />Tomorrow we'll pick up the pieces<br />Try to mend our broken lives<br />Soft kiss, sweet lies<br />Let's make it a long goodbye<br /><br />Whenever you see lonely faces<br />That's where I'll be<br />Don't cry for me, no no no<br />Don't cry for me<br />Don't cry for me no no no<br />I'll be okay<br /><br />You don't have to stay forever<br />I'll take passion over pride<br />Full moon, high tide<br />Let's make it a long goodbye<br />Tomorrow we'll pick up the pieces<br />Try to mend our broken lives<br />......., sweet lies<br />Let's make it a long goodbye<br /><br />You don't have to stay forever<br />I'll take passion over pride<br />Full moon, high tide<br />Let's make it a long goodbye<br /><br />Tomorrow we'll pick up the pieces<br />Try to mend our broken lives<br />Soft kiss, sweet lies<br />Let's make it a long goodbye<br /><br />Oh oh<br />Goodbye<br />Goodbye </span>NaijaBabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047508513628654957noreply@blogger.com9