Ever wondered when you might die? Or in which manner you'd choose to go when the time eventually arrives?
I do and I often also wonder who would remember me or miss me when I'm gone. Not a lot I can say.
I know quite a few who have died, some very close and others even closer. The feeling is awful and I think its harder to bear if you were with them when they took that last breath. When you see the person's journey come to a complete halt! When they cease to be and you don't get anymore 'I love yous' or 'Be good' or even the 'How fars?'. For some, that's all it takes for them to recount their steps and take each day as though its embellished in precious diamonds. Treat each day like its a newly found treasure. Live with meaning.
Yesterday I heard the news about Da grins death and I started to weep. It felt like I'd never known anyone die. Like my best friend had just been taken away from me. Only he never was my friend. He was never even popular on my iPod. In fact at some point, I'd known his songs for a while, I just didn't know they were his. He was just another artist to me. Another Naija artist.
I got offered his CD by a friend in Nigeria and I declined it under the premise that I was only familiar with a few songs of his, some of which I didn't quite like. So taking the CD would quickly wear out his novelty with me.
Weeks later I heard my friends go crazy over 'Kondo' and I asked my aforementioned friend to send me the song via blackberry messenger. She refused saying I should have taken the CD when she offered. We both laughed it off but I still didn't get the song.
Months later, last week, I was out with friends. The DJ dropped kondo and the crowd went mad. Literally. Some stood on the sofas and started to jump like a child would do on his father's kingsize bed. Then I found out Da grin was supposed to be at a concert here in the Uk. I smiled. Nice one I thought. I spoke to my cousin who's part of the organisers of the concert and asked about the concert. His words: 'that concert is going to be mad whether enemies like it or not'. I asked what do enemies want with your event? He said didn't you hear Da Grin had an accident. I responded that I'd actually seen it on some BBM statuses and gone to read a story online about it. The source in the story had said 'he's lucky. He should thank God for his life'. The concert is slotted for the 31st of may'. I said to my cousin, 'Not to worry, he has a month to recover, he'll be here'.
God had other plans.
I saw the first status message and then the 2nd and then I started to weep.I hoped it was an expensive joke. A joke I was willing to accept and not complain about whoever had started it, just so he'd be alive. He had to be. But he wasn't.
I think about death and I think about everything in life. It all ends one day.
Now I don't make plans. I can't. Each day is a new one. Its a fresh start. That way, I don't lose too much when I go. Actually I don't lose anything.
its just a number
Is it?
Age I mean? Is it just a number?
Apparently, a rule in relationships, that goes without saying is ' the man having to be older than the woman'
Now I'm asking why?
Why does it have to be so? Is it because women feel a lot more secure when he's older or....? Sorry, I've got nothing.
Apparently, another rule again, that usually gets bent is that women shouldn't even go for their age mates, let alone one who's younger. This particularly applying to those women who have marriage next on their 'to do' list. Hence a guy who's ticks ALL the boxes isn't good enought because he's a few weeks younger.
I'm still not sure where these rules come from but I can safely say its the African or maybe just Nigerian mentality. We have decided to live by the supposed study that posits that men are seemingly 5years younger than women their age. How true that is, I don't know. Even if, its a study, have we confirmed what the sample size is? If its a bunch of teenagers, I'd gladly accept the inferences of that study without blinking. But does this mean that all women stay 5years ahead or the gap starts to reduce at a certain age where a balance is achieved? Not to say that the woman has reached a halt on whatever its it that gets her ahead, but that the man is catching up ie we are fast, they are slow but we all get there in the end.
It all looks like brain fart right, but I think I need to find that study, so my arguments can be a little more coherent.
Anyway, back to my point. Another reason why this rule may stand is possibly (once again applying to those in marriage age) because she's ready and he isn't. Now that may be true for a fact, well mentally that is. But I'm not sure a lot are thinking its a mental state, rather for most, its a physical thing or just because his social status hasn't really peaked. Which is it? I'm not sure, because outside of our mentality, its ok for Mariah Carey to dote over someone who's no less than 10years younger than she is, same going for Demi Moore. However, these women are heading to their forties, if not in it already. But if she were 25 and he, 15, would it still have been ok then? For me, either way, the 10year gap still applies, whether twenties or forties
So what's wrong in going for a year younger? Or let's raise the stakes to 2years and not trying to go for 10 like the Demis and Careys do. Anything wrong with it?
I asked a friend once if she would date a younger person and her response was ''NEVER''. I asked another and she rolled her eyes like it would go out of fashion and then said, or rather asked, ''Are you stupid?''
But really, Am I?
Age I mean? Is it just a number?
Apparently, a rule in relationships, that goes without saying is ' the man having to be older than the woman'
Now I'm asking why?
Why does it have to be so? Is it because women feel a lot more secure when he's older or....? Sorry, I've got nothing.
Apparently, another rule again, that usually gets bent is that women shouldn't even go for their age mates, let alone one who's younger. This particularly applying to those women who have marriage next on their 'to do' list. Hence a guy who's ticks ALL the boxes isn't good enought because he's a few weeks younger.
I'm still not sure where these rules come from but I can safely say its the African or maybe just Nigerian mentality. We have decided to live by the supposed study that posits that men are seemingly 5years younger than women their age. How true that is, I don't know. Even if, its a study, have we confirmed what the sample size is? If its a bunch of teenagers, I'd gladly accept the inferences of that study without blinking. But does this mean that all women stay 5years ahead or the gap starts to reduce at a certain age where a balance is achieved? Not to say that the woman has reached a halt on whatever its it that gets her ahead, but that the man is catching up ie we are fast, they are slow but we all get there in the end.
It all looks like brain fart right, but I think I need to find that study, so my arguments can be a little more coherent.
Anyway, back to my point. Another reason why this rule may stand is possibly (once again applying to those in marriage age) because she's ready and he isn't. Now that may be true for a fact, well mentally that is. But I'm not sure a lot are thinking its a mental state, rather for most, its a physical thing or just because his social status hasn't really peaked. Which is it? I'm not sure, because outside of our mentality, its ok for Mariah Carey to dote over someone who's no less than 10years younger than she is, same going for Demi Moore. However, these women are heading to their forties, if not in it already. But if she were 25 and he, 15, would it still have been ok then? For me, either way, the 10year gap still applies, whether twenties or forties
So what's wrong in going for a year younger? Or let's raise the stakes to 2years and not trying to go for 10 like the Demis and Careys do. Anything wrong with it?
I asked a friend once if she would date a younger person and her response was ''NEVER''. I asked another and she rolled her eyes like it would go out of fashion and then said, or rather asked, ''Are you stupid?''
But really, Am I?
Same old story!
I know!
Apologies bla bla. Same gist!
Who knows when next I'll be back here, so I'll apologise for the next time I won't turn up.
My life never lacks drama and two thirds of it is unnecessary family headache. I need a life of my own, where no one feels the need to order me around like a robot!
I came across something I put together a while ago and whilst I re-read it, I realised it only made sense to me the day I wrote it. After that, it just looks like I needed to regurgitate every word in my head that seemed to express the way I was feeling but in a very incomprehensible manner!
Below is what I call 'faeces of words'. No pun intended but it is absolute shit!
''When you have never known austerity, you never see life in the eyes of one who has. Seeing how they live does not equal knowing how they live. Knowing how they live does not equal feeling how they feel either.
They say, tough times are temporary. To some, it comes to pass. To most, it is a way of life and the belief that better times are temporary plays a more familiar tune with them.
Beside you is a dead man walking and beside him is another. You.
The game is tagged "survival of the fittest" when in reality it should be called "surviving the survival of the fittest". When the dead man walking strives to survive and then should he overcome, the battle to sustain becomes paramount. Where breathing is no longer the chore, staying alive is and the feverent need to be relevant continues to persist.
Should the dead man walking start to believe that "hard times are temporary", the need to do things the right way points the scale mark at zero. And if the scale marks read negative, a new rule is set. "An for an eye". A rule adhered to in its most literal and figurative forms, that ensures that the next man canot easily place blame. His society is accepting of his shortcomings.
Shortcomings are not inadequacies.
Short comings are not mistakes.
Shortcomings are not crime.
Shortcomings are a way of life
Shortcomings make better times temporary.''
To think that now that I have a blackberry, I'd blog more often! Kmt!
Apologies bla bla. Same gist!
Who knows when next I'll be back here, so I'll apologise for the next time I won't turn up.
My life never lacks drama and two thirds of it is unnecessary family headache. I need a life of my own, where no one feels the need to order me around like a robot!
I came across something I put together a while ago and whilst I re-read it, I realised it only made sense to me the day I wrote it. After that, it just looks like I needed to regurgitate every word in my head that seemed to express the way I was feeling but in a very incomprehensible manner!
Below is what I call 'faeces of words'. No pun intended but it is absolute shit!
''When you have never known austerity, you never see life in the eyes of one who has. Seeing how they live does not equal knowing how they live. Knowing how they live does not equal feeling how they feel either.
They say, tough times are temporary. To some, it comes to pass. To most, it is a way of life and the belief that better times are temporary plays a more familiar tune with them.
Beside you is a dead man walking and beside him is another. You.
The game is tagged "survival of the fittest" when in reality it should be called "surviving the survival of the fittest". When the dead man walking strives to survive and then should he overcome, the battle to sustain becomes paramount. Where breathing is no longer the chore, staying alive is and the feverent need to be relevant continues to persist.
Should the dead man walking start to believe that "hard times are temporary", the need to do things the right way points the scale mark at zero. And if the scale marks read negative, a new rule is set. "An for an eye". A rule adhered to in its most literal and figurative forms, that ensures that the next man canot easily place blame. His society is accepting of his shortcomings.
Shortcomings are not inadequacies.
Short comings are not mistakes.
Shortcomings are not crime.
Shortcomings are a way of life
Shortcomings make better times temporary.''
To think that now that I have a blackberry, I'd blog more often! Kmt!
We are the world
''We are the children''
So goes the lyrics to Michael and Lionel's song. Recently it's been used by various artists to raise money for the victims of the Haiti earthquake. An equally touching version was done by 57 YouTube artists. I must say I commend their efforts.
This got me thinking about the various stories I'd heard regarding this Earthquake and also our efforts as fellow humans to help others.
Firstly on the earthquake. Many have said God has forsaken the Haitians, there's so much voodoo and other unGodly acts going on there that He feels the need to wipe out their existence. I won't preach what I don't know but I'm sure we all have our views in these utterances and the religious ones amongst us know not to question God in His decisions whether this particular one is His or not.
The non religious approach would seek to ask why there is a settlement is an natural disaster prone area? What would then be the decision? For them to move? Would we then ask the millions of Japanese or Indonesians to move as well? Where would they move to? It's totally out of the question. But should we help the Hatians bring their nation back to it's feet, only to have it in a rubble within sixty seconds by the powers of the almighty natural disasters? Or help them survive these trying times.
It's a sad sad story. Please let us do what we can to help them
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
So goes the lyrics to Michael and Lionel's song. Recently it's been used by various artists to raise money for the victims of the Haiti earthquake. An equally touching version was done by 57 YouTube artists. I must say I commend their efforts.
This got me thinking about the various stories I'd heard regarding this Earthquake and also our efforts as fellow humans to help others.
Firstly on the earthquake. Many have said God has forsaken the Haitians, there's so much voodoo and other unGodly acts going on there that He feels the need to wipe out their existence. I won't preach what I don't know but I'm sure we all have our views in these utterances and the religious ones amongst us know not to question God in His decisions whether this particular one is His or not.
The non religious approach would seek to ask why there is a settlement is an natural disaster prone area? What would then be the decision? For them to move? Would we then ask the millions of Japanese or Indonesians to move as well? Where would they move to? It's totally out of the question. But should we help the Hatians bring their nation back to it's feet, only to have it in a rubble within sixty seconds by the powers of the almighty natural disasters? Or help them survive these trying times.
It's a sad sad story. Please let us do what we can to help them
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Hopelessly Romantic
Tis the season of love. Well on this side of my room. This is a mushy playlist inspired. Please see it as such.
Apparently, I'm a hopeless romantic, according to my friend. That's because I say 'aww' when she affirms that her dad has met her boyfriend.
What makes me hopeless, in my opinion, I have no idea. Other than the fact that I love being sung to. I'm not one for the grandiosely written stanzas or endless letters. I'd rather not have those. I'd love for 'us' to have 'our' song that would force a smile if he heard the busker cover it on the underground and cause him to drop a pound just because it brings me to the forefront of his mind for that split second. An added bonus would be if he could sing it. That's bliss for me. One would ask why I live in such delusion? That these men are hard to find. Well I want to believe that you can only be drawn to someone if you both have a common ground, if you share interests. I want this, if not more, to be our common ground. I guess this may mean that I might be single for a while, but I'm allowed to build dreams, live in them and imagine these may exist, someway, somehow.
I've seen boring marriages where I can see that there's love but there's no form of endearment. I dont want a boring man in that aspect. I don't want presents on every valentines day, I want holding hands to not be a figment of my imagination, nor a thing of our 'dating' days. I want to rub my husbands head and be able to tell by his reaction, at that moment, that there's something amiss or forsee a problem. I don't want a rigid man who thinks birthdays and anniversaries are all about cards and gifts. But that stroking my hair holds more water than a new handbag.
My list is endless but it shall stay in my head, where it makes more sense. On paper it sounds like the mind of a 14year old
I live in my own little bubble and thus oblivious of the fact that these are far fetched. I refuse to believe.
A bubble that confirms that I am indeed a hopeless romantic.
But hey, it's my dream, not yours
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Apparently, I'm a hopeless romantic, according to my friend. That's because I say 'aww' when she affirms that her dad has met her boyfriend.
What makes me hopeless, in my opinion, I have no idea. Other than the fact that I love being sung to. I'm not one for the grandiosely written stanzas or endless letters. I'd rather not have those. I'd love for 'us' to have 'our' song that would force a smile if he heard the busker cover it on the underground and cause him to drop a pound just because it brings me to the forefront of his mind for that split second. An added bonus would be if he could sing it. That's bliss for me. One would ask why I live in such delusion? That these men are hard to find. Well I want to believe that you can only be drawn to someone if you both have a common ground, if you share interests. I want this, if not more, to be our common ground. I guess this may mean that I might be single for a while, but I'm allowed to build dreams, live in them and imagine these may exist, someway, somehow.
I've seen boring marriages where I can see that there's love but there's no form of endearment. I dont want a boring man in that aspect. I don't want presents on every valentines day, I want holding hands to not be a figment of my imagination, nor a thing of our 'dating' days. I want to rub my husbands head and be able to tell by his reaction, at that moment, that there's something amiss or forsee a problem. I don't want a rigid man who thinks birthdays and anniversaries are all about cards and gifts. But that stroking my hair holds more water than a new handbag.
My list is endless but it shall stay in my head, where it makes more sense. On paper it sounds like the mind of a 14year old
I live in my own little bubble and thus oblivious of the fact that these are far fetched. I refuse to believe.
A bubble that confirms that I am indeed a hopeless romantic.
But hey, it's my dream, not yours
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sibling Rivalry
Yes, that's my burden for this year. For many years now and maybe more.
No preambles today. I'll go straight to my worries. I have 3 older siblings who are 2 years apart each, but the lowest number of years between myself and them is 13 years. *Do the math. I like to feel a little cryptic with myself. Allow me to amuse myself*
Anyways. They were boarding school students so I never saw them very often and as soon as they finished secondary school, they left for the UK. So I grew up with me, my ears and my mother.
I heard from them often. Here's how. The first would call home, speak to my mother and say a quick hello to me. The 2nd wrote me countless number of letters and the third, said hello via birthday cards.
One more thing, here's how we bonded. The first dealt with my clothes and shoes, I never lacked. The second bought me books and my first dictionary, albeit half eaten by her boyfriends dog and the other, well random things here and there.
I was a sucker for letters and anything called a book, so it goes without saying who I bonded with the most.
Now growing up, I had no favourites. They are all my siblings. I love them all.
Fast forward to end of secondary school and I'm leaving Nigeria and headed for the UK. The oldest believes I'm supposed to join her in the US. I refuse, very politely. I mean my first nephew by her is just about 3 younger than I am, so I definitely can't be rude
I choose to stay in the UK with the second and all hell is let lose.
Both of them have had fights since they all got to England. This is going on 20yrs. Now it looks like I've taken sides in a matter that has been going on even before I could read.
At this age though, I feel like I have a right to take sides. Especially when one party says harsh and evil things to the other. So much so that it's detrimental to her life, to her marriage and to her sanity. Sorry why am I not allowed to take sides? When the side I chose was the one that could be bothered to ask me what I wanted to do? Rather than force nursing down my throat like medicine. So no one has the right to be upset that they weren't told I'd graduated. If they bothered to ask what I was doing, then they wouldn't need to find out from facebook that I'd bagged that certificate.
So no one has any right to call this side and ask to call the other side. For what I ask? For what reason? Because that side is god and I'm supposed to have my tail between my legs and return home like the prodigal child. Excuse my French but that is bullshit served on a platter.
I have been quiet, but I shan't any longer. It is unfair that I have to do anything. 4 or 40, no individual is too big to apologise. And if they are, well I'm assuming they are too big to accept one, so none will be rendered on my part
Unfortuantely, ties have been severed and people like my almost 20yr old nephew and his siblings will be the ones to suffer for it.
But right now, in as much as I feel for those kids, I could care less about anyone else.
And to think they didn't see all these coming as kids. They apparently had a great time as kids. So God knows what happened during the transition to adulthood.
Lessons learnt though Most of all is to be able to detect these signs in my kids and avoid the he'll I've been through for them.
I hope we all do
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
No preambles today. I'll go straight to my worries. I have 3 older siblings who are 2 years apart each, but the lowest number of years between myself and them is 13 years. *Do the math. I like to feel a little cryptic with myself. Allow me to amuse myself*
Anyways. They were boarding school students so I never saw them very often and as soon as they finished secondary school, they left for the UK. So I grew up with me, my ears and my mother.
I heard from them often. Here's how. The first would call home, speak to my mother and say a quick hello to me. The 2nd wrote me countless number of letters and the third, said hello via birthday cards.
One more thing, here's how we bonded. The first dealt with my clothes and shoes, I never lacked. The second bought me books and my first dictionary, albeit half eaten by her boyfriends dog and the other, well random things here and there.
I was a sucker for letters and anything called a book, so it goes without saying who I bonded with the most.
Now growing up, I had no favourites. They are all my siblings. I love them all.
Fast forward to end of secondary school and I'm leaving Nigeria and headed for the UK. The oldest believes I'm supposed to join her in the US. I refuse, very politely. I mean my first nephew by her is just about 3 younger than I am, so I definitely can't be rude
I choose to stay in the UK with the second and all hell is let lose.
Both of them have had fights since they all got to England. This is going on 20yrs. Now it looks like I've taken sides in a matter that has been going on even before I could read.
At this age though, I feel like I have a right to take sides. Especially when one party says harsh and evil things to the other. So much so that it's detrimental to her life, to her marriage and to her sanity. Sorry why am I not allowed to take sides? When the side I chose was the one that could be bothered to ask me what I wanted to do? Rather than force nursing down my throat like medicine. So no one has the right to be upset that they weren't told I'd graduated. If they bothered to ask what I was doing, then they wouldn't need to find out from facebook that I'd bagged that certificate.
So no one has any right to call this side and ask to call the other side. For what I ask? For what reason? Because that side is god and I'm supposed to have my tail between my legs and return home like the prodigal child. Excuse my French but that is bullshit served on a platter.
I have been quiet, but I shan't any longer. It is unfair that I have to do anything. 4 or 40, no individual is too big to apologise. And if they are, well I'm assuming they are too big to accept one, so none will be rendered on my part
Unfortuantely, ties have been severed and people like my almost 20yr old nephew and his siblings will be the ones to suffer for it.
But right now, in as much as I feel for those kids, I could care less about anyone else.
And to think they didn't see all these coming as kids. They apparently had a great time as kids. So God knows what happened during the transition to adulthood.
Lessons learnt though Most of all is to be able to detect these signs in my kids and avoid the he'll I've been through for them.
I hope we all do
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
The light
It's bright
It's White
It blinds
From afar
A speck amongst millions
From within
A glow that lights millions
I feel the light today
Everyday!
I glow in the presence of light
My skin beams
My cheeks, rosy as they are
Alternate between the shades of glow and red
The light approaches
Closer and closer
It's on me, just me
And now, I'm the star of this show
It's the light of the show
It transcends beyond my person
There are no shadows
I take centre stage
As I am the star
And it is the light
So, it is my light
Written in one of my moments, just one moment. In the space of that moment. In the hopes that I'd read it to someone. I didn't and so it sat in the book, as with many others. But todsy, it's finally seen the light of day
I hope everyone has a bright week
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
It's White
It blinds
From afar
A speck amongst millions
From within
A glow that lights millions
I feel the light today
Everyday!
I glow in the presence of light
My skin beams
My cheeks, rosy as they are
Alternate between the shades of glow and red
The light approaches
Closer and closer
It's on me, just me
And now, I'm the star of this show
It's the light of the show
It transcends beyond my person
There are no shadows
I take centre stage
As I am the star
And it is the light
So, it is my light
Written in one of my moments, just one moment. In the space of that moment. In the hopes that I'd read it to someone. I didn't and so it sat in the book, as with many others. But todsy, it's finally seen the light of day
I hope everyone has a bright week
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
2009 in a few words
Oh long overdue. I know
So since Juiceegals 'stock take' post, I thought I needed one too.
I don't do new year resolutions. I don't believe in them, more because I don't hold the means to make them happen, well this only applies to my own resolutions, I have lofty dreams. I have dreams and hopes and I can only pray that they come true. So anyways an account of this year.
I started this year with a big dream, to see the end of my degree. To some, it's not a big deal. To me it was as I had so many hurdles and hitches along the way, right up to weeks before. But now, I can only be thankful for getting to the end. It was worth the effort. I believe that, for me to have seen the end, God does have plans for me.
I started the year a happy person. Mid year saw the peak of this. You know like the movies, where halfway through is the climax. Yep! That's exactly how I was. All of a sudden, it all took a drastic turn downhill. The speed it all happened was overwhelming but they say when life throws you lemons, you make lemonade out of it. Rather, I chose to dwell on the sourness of these lemons. How I got out of it, I have no idea. But I'm glad I did.
Moving on, once again this year, I made new friends, mostly bloggers, a few random ones and got closer to already known ones. I must say that of all these, I can count a few that I'd still want to be acquainted with. Why? I've found that my view on people has made me become sort of a recluse. People are entirely different and unfortunately there are some differences that I can't deal with. I believe there are certain attitudes that I believe people should have. You know? those that go without saying. I find that many are fake and I can't deal with fake people. I can't deal with insensitive people. That's just me being naive, I'm sure there are worse but, I hope I don't have to deal with it all
This year, I planned on moving home. But as God will have it, plans change and as such, I've resorted to moving on with life here. When the time comes for me to head home, I surely will.
Every year, I pray to God for a better relationship with Him. I pray mostly for continuity in my faith. It's one thing to have faith, it's another to carry on with it. I've had so many downs and I must say the last few days have seen a sharp decline in my faith. I haven't said my prayers as I should and when I remember to, I don't. Tonight, as with many others, I will say special prayers, most especially for my faith, for me to build on it and be stronger than I am.
This time next year, I want to reflect on 2010 and still be thankful for progress made. I still have a long way to go and I still have one more hurdle to cross before I feel completeness in it's entirety. When that's done, life can truly begin for me and all other things will follow suit.
Some say what's the big deal with a new year? Isn't just another day? Surely it is, but it still marks 12 months since you last saw the 31st of December. So if anything, let's all be thankful
And That's my very undetailed recap of 2009. I wish you my blog family a very happy new year. Let's make 2010 another great year for ourselves
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
So since Juiceegals 'stock take' post, I thought I needed one too.
I don't do new year resolutions. I don't believe in them, more because I don't hold the means to make them happen, well this only applies to my own resolutions, I have lofty dreams. I have dreams and hopes and I can only pray that they come true. So anyways an account of this year.
I started this year with a big dream, to see the end of my degree. To some, it's not a big deal. To me it was as I had so many hurdles and hitches along the way, right up to weeks before. But now, I can only be thankful for getting to the end. It was worth the effort. I believe that, for me to have seen the end, God does have plans for me.
I started the year a happy person. Mid year saw the peak of this. You know like the movies, where halfway through is the climax. Yep! That's exactly how I was. All of a sudden, it all took a drastic turn downhill. The speed it all happened was overwhelming but they say when life throws you lemons, you make lemonade out of it. Rather, I chose to dwell on the sourness of these lemons. How I got out of it, I have no idea. But I'm glad I did.
Moving on, once again this year, I made new friends, mostly bloggers, a few random ones and got closer to already known ones. I must say that of all these, I can count a few that I'd still want to be acquainted with. Why? I've found that my view on people has made me become sort of a recluse. People are entirely different and unfortunately there are some differences that I can't deal with. I believe there are certain attitudes that I believe people should have. You know? those that go without saying. I find that many are fake and I can't deal with fake people. I can't deal with insensitive people. That's just me being naive, I'm sure there are worse but, I hope I don't have to deal with it all
This year, I planned on moving home. But as God will have it, plans change and as such, I've resorted to moving on with life here. When the time comes for me to head home, I surely will.
Every year, I pray to God for a better relationship with Him. I pray mostly for continuity in my faith. It's one thing to have faith, it's another to carry on with it. I've had so many downs and I must say the last few days have seen a sharp decline in my faith. I haven't said my prayers as I should and when I remember to, I don't. Tonight, as with many others, I will say special prayers, most especially for my faith, for me to build on it and be stronger than I am.
This time next year, I want to reflect on 2010 and still be thankful for progress made. I still have a long way to go and I still have one more hurdle to cross before I feel completeness in it's entirety. When that's done, life can truly begin for me and all other things will follow suit.
Some say what's the big deal with a new year? Isn't just another day? Surely it is, but it still marks 12 months since you last saw the 31st of December. So if anything, let's all be thankful
And That's my very undetailed recap of 2009. I wish you my blog family a very happy new year. Let's make 2010 another great year for ourselves
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
A little Clarity
Having heard so much about the Vera show, I followed the link on Fabulola's post about the whole Ray Ray fad (Now I don't look stupid on twitter anymore when they are ranting over it) and clicked on the latest show.
Anyways, not to digress and make it quick, I downloaded the latest show, 'Christmas gifts that should' or so its called and Vera co-hosted with Funmi. The topic was on Christmas gifts and somehow they veered into 'Sallah' and how Muslims celebrate.
First off, this is not a hate post. If you think it is, please kindly take the Northern line to Waterloo and jump off Waterloo Bridge.
I'd just like to clarify a few things, to people who are perhaps in the same school of thought as Funmi. Please bear in mind I have paused the show, so I cant even tell if these were her thoughts when she was growing up or if she still holds them now. So it stemmed from what she said, but has nothing to do with her.
But for some who'd rather not seek a clearer explanation or for those that just don't know, here is a little about Islam's festivals, just so you know and can at least be informed. At least, in primary school I was bombarded with C.R.K and can tell the Nativity story better than some Christians would, so why not?
Speaking of which, let me digress a little. My sister was listening to BBC Radio 4 the other day and she said that on one of the shows, the host said quite whimsically that he went to his daughter's Christmas school play: the nativity story and after he came out, he said to himself, "that was the story of Jesus, but there was no Jesus in it". I had to laugh at that.
Okay back to the point. The Festivals are called Eid and the suffix usually denotes which Eid it is. Eid ul Fitri is the one right after the month of Ramadan when Muslims have fasted for 30 days and Eid ul Kabir is the one where the Ram is Slaughtered.
As you may be aware, we go to the prayer ground in multitudes, those practicing and those who don't: that's the day you know your neighbour is muslim because he is dressed in his best clothes and headed for the National stadium (for those in Surulere, Lagos). We go there to perform a special Eid Prayer, thanking God for seeing another Sallah day. Let's just say its the same way Christians head for Church on Easter and Christmas days.
In Islam, there are many ways to secure God's mercies, most are detailed in the Quran and Hadith and some are just the daily doctrines and ethics that we all should know with 'common sense'. The fasting for example is significant in so many ways. For one, it helps to improve your relationship with God. You are meant to cleanse yourself physically (avoid eating junk) and mentally. Devoid yourself of all forms of sin for those 30days, in the hope that once the 30days are over, you will carry on in that manner. Further, it is for us, as Muslims, to put ourselves in the shoes of the needy, however we decide to define them. There are many whose lives are austere and do not have the opportunity to have 3 square meal, let alone access to drinking water. With this, we are meant to be thankful to Allah for all that we have and as we have 'walked in their shoes', we can be more accommodating to them and most of all, get closer to God. Before the 30days are over, we offer a mandatory share of our wealth (zakat) to the said group of people, however much we can afford (as it is according to your earning) in order that they may be happy on the Eid day as well and have enough to celebrate with just like you are.
Eid ul Kabir on the other hand, signifies the sacrifice that Ibrahim (Abraham) made to Allah in place of his son. Once again, it is for us to be thankful to Allah for the things He has done for us. What if, in this day and age, sons need to be sacrificed and for some reason we all (both Christians and Muslims) still followed it, would we all be happy? No?? (I'm just saying though, I bet, if that existed, it wont be condoned, so don't quote me on that) What I'm saying is that the slaughtering of the Ram is meant to put us in the state of mind that Ibrahim was in those days and help us to feel remorse and be Thankful for where we are today. So it is in no way 'A TABOOED OFFERING' neither is it a sacrificial lamb to appease some god.
More :
As with regards to Muslims praying some prayer before we kill the animal, that is what makes it befitting for us to eat. It means we bear in mind that Allah has created these animals and though they are provided for us to feed on, we are not supposed to suck the air out of them or kill them however they are done in some abattoirs. It makes it haram (forbidden) for us to eat.
The Halal Food Authority further explains this:
I hope this gives enough clarity. If you have other questions please feel free to visit credible sources wherever you may please.
Its for my sake, so that I am not called what I'm not and for your sake, to not sound ignorant in public.
PS: Regardless, I think back home, Muslims and Christians celebrate together more than anywhere else I've been. Do the British know what Eid is? Let alone give us a holiday.
Oh Please dont make me laugh.
Anyways, not to digress and make it quick, I downloaded the latest show, 'Christmas gifts that should' or so its called and Vera co-hosted with Funmi. The topic was on Christmas gifts and somehow they veered into 'Sallah' and how Muslims celebrate.
First off, this is not a hate post. If you think it is, please kindly take the Northern line to Waterloo and jump off Waterloo Bridge.
I'd just like to clarify a few things, to people who are perhaps in the same school of thought as Funmi. Please bear in mind I have paused the show, so I cant even tell if these were her thoughts when she was growing up or if she still holds them now. So it stemmed from what she said, but has nothing to do with her.
But for some who'd rather not seek a clearer explanation or for those that just don't know, here is a little about Islam's festivals, just so you know and can at least be informed. At least, in primary school I was bombarded with C.R.K and can tell the Nativity story better than some Christians would, so why not?
Speaking of which, let me digress a little. My sister was listening to BBC Radio 4 the other day and she said that on one of the shows, the host said quite whimsically that he went to his daughter's Christmas school play: the nativity story and after he came out, he said to himself, "that was the story of Jesus, but there was no Jesus in it". I had to laugh at that.
Okay back to the point. The Festivals are called Eid and the suffix usually denotes which Eid it is. Eid ul Fitri is the one right after the month of Ramadan when Muslims have fasted for 30 days and Eid ul Kabir is the one where the Ram is Slaughtered.
As you may be aware, we go to the prayer ground in multitudes, those practicing and those who don't: that's the day you know your neighbour is muslim because he is dressed in his best clothes and headed for the National stadium (for those in Surulere, Lagos). We go there to perform a special Eid Prayer, thanking God for seeing another Sallah day. Let's just say its the same way Christians head for Church on Easter and Christmas days.
In Islam, there are many ways to secure God's mercies, most are detailed in the Quran and Hadith and some are just the daily doctrines and ethics that we all should know with 'common sense'. The fasting for example is significant in so many ways. For one, it helps to improve your relationship with God. You are meant to cleanse yourself physically (avoid eating junk) and mentally. Devoid yourself of all forms of sin for those 30days, in the hope that once the 30days are over, you will carry on in that manner. Further, it is for us, as Muslims, to put ourselves in the shoes of the needy, however we decide to define them. There are many whose lives are austere and do not have the opportunity to have 3 square meal, let alone access to drinking water. With this, we are meant to be thankful to Allah for all that we have and as we have 'walked in their shoes', we can be more accommodating to them and most of all, get closer to God. Before the 30days are over, we offer a mandatory share of our wealth (zakat) to the said group of people, however much we can afford (as it is according to your earning) in order that they may be happy on the Eid day as well and have enough to celebrate with just like you are.
Eid ul Kabir on the other hand, signifies the sacrifice that Ibrahim (Abraham) made to Allah in place of his son. Once again, it is for us to be thankful to Allah for the things He has done for us. What if, in this day and age, sons need to be sacrificed and for some reason we all (both Christians and Muslims) still followed it, would we all be happy? No?? (I'm just saying though, I bet, if that existed, it wont be condoned, so don't quote me on that) What I'm saying is that the slaughtering of the Ram is meant to put us in the state of mind that Ibrahim was in those days and help us to feel remorse and be Thankful for where we are today. So it is in no way 'A TABOOED OFFERING' neither is it a sacrificial lamb to appease some god.
More :
During the celebration of Eid al-Adha, Muslims commemorate and remember Abraham's trials, by themselves slaughtering an animal such as a sheep, camel, or goat. This action is very often misunderstood by those outside the faith.
Allah has given us power over animals and allowed us to eat meat, but only if we pronounce His name at the solemn act of taking life. Muslims slaughter animals in the same way throughout the year. By saying the name of Allah at the time of slaughter, we are reminded that life is sacred.
As with regards to Muslims praying some prayer before we kill the animal, that is what makes it befitting for us to eat. It means we bear in mind that Allah has created these animals and though they are provided for us to feed on, we are not supposed to suck the air out of them or kill them however they are done in some abattoirs. It makes it haram (forbidden) for us to eat.
The Halal Food Authority further explains this:
- .... require animals to be alive and healthy at the time of slaughter, since carrion is forbidden and, jugular vein, carotid artery and windpipe have to be severed by a razor sharp knife by a single swipe, to incur as less a pain as possible.
- All the flowing blood) must be drained out of the carcass, as blood is forbidden (Quran 6 V145
- Forbidden is an animal that has been killed by strangling or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall
I hope this gives enough clarity. If you have other questions please feel free to visit credible sources wherever you may please.
Its for my sake, so that I am not called what I'm not and for your sake, to not sound ignorant in public.
PS: Regardless, I think back home, Muslims and Christians celebrate together more than anywhere else I've been. Do the British know what Eid is? Let alone give us a holiday.
Oh Please dont make me laugh.
Trust me?
I'm sure loads of people have stressed this topic and opinions are saturated on this front. But I got thinking lately, on how trust is generated, maintained and possibly lost.
When people say 'oh that girl is so trustworthy', what do they mean? She can be trusted to deliver? Or she can be trusted with a secret? Does it mean you have faith in the person? Or you just believe that the person has your back wherever you or they may be? How is trust quantified?
In relationships, we talk about trust being the foundation of a good relationship and when it starts to waver, then we say that there seems to be a problem.
Trust is a human attribute, agreed?
So why then is a 'trustworthy' person given extra props if its meant to be an attribute that we all should have. It's just like those who argue that Fashola shouldnt be given extra credit for his work in Lagos state, because its his job anyway. Same goes for why should a person be given lofty praises when we are all supposed to be trustworthy. Would you compliment someone for breathing? I think not.
Its been dancing around in my head what other people's definitions of trust is? By that definition, what then does the said individual have to do before they lose that trust?
I ask because recently, I have been let down by many and I'm beginning to think if I have the meaning of trust misconstrued. I believe that when I trust people, they will not hurt me in anyway. When they do, they are honest and apologetic about it. Or at the very least accepting of the situation, even if no extra effort is made to rectify it, as the damage has been done already.
So whats your definition of trust?
When people say 'oh that girl is so trustworthy', what do they mean? She can be trusted to deliver? Or she can be trusted with a secret? Does it mean you have faith in the person? Or you just believe that the person has your back wherever you or they may be? How is trust quantified?
In relationships, we talk about trust being the foundation of a good relationship and when it starts to waver, then we say that there seems to be a problem.
Trust is a human attribute, agreed?
So why then is a 'trustworthy' person given extra props if its meant to be an attribute that we all should have. It's just like those who argue that Fashola shouldnt be given extra credit for his work in Lagos state, because its his job anyway. Same goes for why should a person be given lofty praises when we are all supposed to be trustworthy. Would you compliment someone for breathing? I think not.
Its been dancing around in my head what other people's definitions of trust is? By that definition, what then does the said individual have to do before they lose that trust?
I ask because recently, I have been let down by many and I'm beginning to think if I have the meaning of trust misconstrued. I believe that when I trust people, they will not hurt me in anyway. When they do, they are honest and apologetic about it. Or at the very least accepting of the situation, even if no extra effort is made to rectify it, as the damage has been done already.
So whats your definition of trust?
