Dear Mother II

A long time has indeed elapsed since my last letter,

In that time, a lot has ensued as well.

I hope you received my last letter.

I know it was signed with the unfamiliar pseudonym that I have recently adopted

And not that one oriki that you fondly called me.

The same one you were fondly called by your mother, of which she was called by hers too.

I decided to use that so as the keep the oriki between us,

Away from the prying eyes of these people (Yes YOU).

Yes, it is that time of the month, and it reminds me of the first time.

That morning, yes that morning.

Now I laugh, but then I didn't. It certainly wasn't funny.

It was supposed to be like any other morning, I was getting ready for school.

You heard me scream.

You thought I'd just seen my grandmother's ghost.

You were right! Well partially.

I had seen a ghost, though not mami's.

It was a red one. The red one.

The famous Miss P (or according to Buttercup, Aunty Flo)

She had come unexpectedly to jolt me to womanhood,

She was to stay and haunt my life for the next 30 years.

I was forlorn, because I knew she was early. Too early.

She must have caught the fast train. I was only in JSS 2.

My siblings had been much older,

But then again, I guess she'd used the choo choo train in their time.

Then it was time for the talk. I wasn't ready for it.

But fortunately for me, I didn't get the falsified version.

I wasn't told I'd be heavy with child if I held hands with a boy.

Though you didn't fail to emphasize that you'd make my life miserable if you did find me holding hands.

Though once again you said you would take care of the child and send me back to school.

After the talk, I got the chicken.

Yes the chicken. Like every young 'budding' Yoruba girl.

I got one killed specially for me. It was my day.

At the end of that day, I knew or rather I emphasized the fact that,

The weirdo I had become was from being the daughter of a weirdo.

I called you mega mother weird.

The weirdest this planet has ever seen.

Doesn't stop me from loving you

For not only does this hereditary weirdness make me unique,

The 'talk' made me a better person and I appreciated my sudden 'womanhood'.

I am happy with the woman that I have become as a result.

For that, I say thank you.

My daughter must surely get this talk,

Though not verbatim,

It will certainly be in the most mega mother weird way that I can give it.




NOTE: Those who have read, I have come to a conclusion that such utterences are not befitting for a post that is solely directed at my mother. So if you read the comments and wonder what the first few people have said....you can keep wondering.