In Nigeria, the lights go out and people heave a sigh of acceptance, praying that it won't be too long till they see that flicker of hope in the Phillips light bulb in their living room.
In the UK, the lights go out and every one stares at each other, thinking, "what just happened"? Then the braver of them steps up to the fuse box and fiddles with the switches, thinking " hmm it's probably just tripped off". He fiddles with it once or twice. When there is no show, he starts to panic.
He calms down. Right, first I need the toilet badly for a number one, then I will call the electric company. He goes to the toilet , finishes and turns on the tap to wash his hands. The water is freezing cold. He looks at the tap he has opened, double checks. " yeah it's the red one" , meaning it's meant to be hot. But no it's not, cos the boiler is off. " oh the boiler is run by electricity"...HISS
Next he decides, yes I need the number for the electric company. "Hmm let me try the Internet, I cant be bothered to find any of those bills right now. Well the computer is off. Oh well, the laptop is still on". He fires up Internet explorer and it says "the web page required does not work offline". Ahn ahn, offline bawo? At least my Internet is wireless. He goes to the modem and finds that it is off. " oh duh, it uses electricity too".
Faces the reality of looking for the bills. Goes to the door, where the mail is in a huge pile. Looks through, to find any of the monthly bills from the electrics company, it should have their number on it. Finally, he gets it and looks everywhere for the land line phone. He finds it sitting on its hub in the living room and tries to dial the number. 0-8-0-0-3-5-5-5-5-5-5, hits the green 'call' button. Places the phone to his ear but he doesnt hear the sound he uusually hears, the one he wants to hear. Its quiet. There's no dial tone. Haba? Ki ni de?
"Damn" He realises, the phone is electric, its 2009 and cannot think of where to find an analogue phone. Tries to call them on the mobile and they aren't picking up, A waste of his already finished minutes. Its slowly getting dark.
Well it's past 7, I better head out to buy some candles and whatnot. Beckons on his wife to feed the kids their dinner and get them to bed before it's too dark, and it becomes a case of sorting out electricity and children that cant sleep in darkness. She heads to the kitchen. Thinks of something she can do on the cooker seeing as the microwave won't work. She decided on warming up the rice for them. Turns the knob and hits the ignition. The sound of the gas coming out is all she hears. Nothing from the ignition. Oh my God. The ignition is electric and we dont have any match sticks at home.
Its gone past 7 and all the shops are closed. Waitrose shuts at 7 and the Tesco that is meant to be open 24 hours is shut due to flooding.
Shit, where is an aboki when you need one?
The husband declares, It's a state of emergency
Suddenly...
... I understand life and it's complexities. You see that life is what you make it and how you choose to live it. There are rules, regulations and guidelines on how to live your life but then you design these to fit the way you live yours.
Someone said to me today that the Nigerian economy does not allow for progress in that one tends to live within one's means. I then said neither does the one in this country, seeing as whatever you earn goes to paying back what you owe. The point of my long story is? Live your life the way you want it and things will always sort themselves out. I'm not saying live lavishly or be non challant about things, but live comfortably, live for today. Cos you may not be here tomorrow. Do not live in austerity today because you want to live well tomorrow, for once again, you may not be here tomorrow.
I'm not preaching. I'm only airing my realisations. I have decided that no one in this life is worth the time and effort to hold any grudges. Not that I do anyways. Whoever feels the need to be friends with me should do so freely. But I won't go out of my way to look for anyone. The time for that is long gone. No one is worth it. Not till I am convinced that there are still good people on this earth. For now, I will assume that everyone is the same that they are only around you because something is needed from you , be it gist, money, your body, your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your coursework. Till otherwise proven, every gaddamn person is the same as the other. They can kiss my arse for all I freaking care.
On another note, I am disappointed with the way we nigerians use our places of worship be it church or mosque. As a Muslim, our place of worship is most sacred to us, either the mosque or the home. Cleaniness is a priority. The case is otherwise here. Most especially in this country, surprisingly. Considering all the amenities available to us here I'm in a mosque on Old Kent Rd at the moment and an Asian or Iranian or a muslim from another country would think twice before performing their Salat in this mosque. It's depressing. We need to do better as nigerians. This is appalling
Someone said to me today that the Nigerian economy does not allow for progress in that one tends to live within one's means. I then said neither does the one in this country, seeing as whatever you earn goes to paying back what you owe. The point of my long story is? Live your life the way you want it and things will always sort themselves out. I'm not saying live lavishly or be non challant about things, but live comfortably, live for today. Cos you may not be here tomorrow. Do not live in austerity today because you want to live well tomorrow, for once again, you may not be here tomorrow.
I'm not preaching. I'm only airing my realisations. I have decided that no one in this life is worth the time and effort to hold any grudges. Not that I do anyways. Whoever feels the need to be friends with me should do so freely. But I won't go out of my way to look for anyone. The time for that is long gone. No one is worth it. Not till I am convinced that there are still good people on this earth. For now, I will assume that everyone is the same that they are only around you because something is needed from you , be it gist, money, your body, your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your coursework. Till otherwise proven, every gaddamn person is the same as the other. They can kiss my arse for all I freaking care.
On another note, I am disappointed with the way we nigerians use our places of worship be it church or mosque. As a Muslim, our place of worship is most sacred to us, either the mosque or the home. Cleaniness is a priority. The case is otherwise here. Most especially in this country, surprisingly. Considering all the amenities available to us here I'm in a mosque on Old Kent Rd at the moment and an Asian or Iranian or a muslim from another country would think twice before performing their Salat in this mosque. It's depressing. We need to do better as nigerians. This is appalling
A gentle but LONG reminder
I'm sure this has gone around blogger and facebook, so most of you may have seen it. So not to worry, today, this is here for me. To remind me of many of the things that may apply to me. To remind me that:
- I will not set my standards any lower than they are meant to be.
- I shall not accept mediocrity in whatever shape or form it shows itself
- MOST IMPORTANTLY - I will not limit myself. For I know that I am worth more than I give myself credit for. I will not present myself as a charity case, nor something that is needing of pity
If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. It's rather long, but think of it as something out of a little book you have picked up.
5 Mistakes Women Make - By Ekene Agabu
"A lady who lives from her principles takes personal responsibility for her own actions and responses. She takes charge and never leaves her fate to the opinions or actions of men. She doesn’t go on a date with every man that asks her out because she doesn’t need a man – she would want a man but she fully well understands that her worth is solely appraised on who she is and not who she’s with. She would not change her principle to have or keep a man. She’s doesn’t need to sleep with a man to have or keep him..........sleeping with a guy does not mean he’s yours. If you had to sleep with him to keep him, he was never yours in the first place."
Before I begin or rather let you into what I have written, I must confess that I had completed this article months ago but was a bit apprehensive in publishing it. I didn’t want to come across as being judgmental and if after reading this you feel judged or put down as a woman, please excuse my unskilled delivery, for that is not my intent. And if you feel that I have crossed the line as man sharing these with you, do not hesitate to express your disdain for my impetus.
Having said that, I feel qualified to write this as a man because I stand as an unbiased observer and also one who has had the opportunity to take advantage of these mistakes. But I must confess, we as men have been @$#*%*$ . Where we should have given, we took; where we should have loved, we lusted and where we should have preserved, we devoured. As a Man, I must call myself to higher standards. Before I touch you, I must respect you like my mother, protect you like my sister and look out for your best interest like my baby – after all, that’s what I call you when I want you! We’ve failed to realize that the significance of our masculinity does not lie in how many girls we can dis-virgin but rather the honor we can bestow upon one. We fail to understand that the purpose of our strength and dominance is to defend and protect not to attack and destroy.
But the first mistake was not yours. You were born into a world that didn’t even give you the chance - the chance to be who you really are without any pressure or expectation. From day one you were unconsciously groomed from childhood to be an acceptable accessory to a man’s life. You were constantly made conscious of a false milestone that suggested your value was based upon a man finding you worthy to be his, instead of being made aware of who you are by virtue of your own unique existence. Your worth as a woman was reduced to two things; being a wife and your ability to bear a child – and in some cultures, you had to bear the right type of child. And if per chance you failed in one of these areas, you were nobody, no one – you were nothing.
Unfortunately, along the way, you may have made some mistakes in trying to fulfill this false notion of who you are supposed to be. Bad relationship after bad relationship continually emphasized the lie that you were nothing without a man. Not only do you sit there as one with mental wounds from childhood, but also with hurts and wounds that are self inflicted as you sincerely tried to fulfill the so called destiny of the woman – being someone’s woman.
As I share this with you, I do not come as one who claims to understand your plight, but rather I stand as one who has heard you. From my mother to my aunts to my cousins and my friends, I have heard you and will continue to listen whenever you speak.
That being said, I do not believe we are responsible for the things that are done or said to us, but I do know that we are responsible for allowing those things continue in us. It’s in this light that I share with you the five common mistakes women make in relationships.
1. Your Personal Standards! Don't leave home without them!
By not setting your standard, you’ve just set the standard. The standards I speak of are not standards for the relationship; I speak of your personal standards irrespective of the relationship. What is your life’s moral compass?
This could get a bit confusing, so let me explain. Often times, at a certain point in life, people turn to religion for some sort of moral guidance or law. It’s an acknowledgment of some sort that they have made numerous personal mistakes and are in probable search for a turn around. So you might have a young lady who’s been around the block and has now become a Christian, and professes that she will be celibate until she gets married thereby claiming this new belief to be her standard. This is a religious belief that she has now adopted and not a personal standard. Your personal standards are born and realized from within you and become your principles rather than a law. A principle is born out of understanding; an understanding of who you are and why you are here on this earth. If you are roaming the earth like a lost sheep in search of a man to give you relevance, you will always find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship with each one leaving you even more confused than you were in the beginning. But when you understand that you are not here by chance and your presence on this earth has significant relevance, the aura about you changes and the people and things you accept into your life will only be a reflection of your internal essence or your personal standard.
A man can cause you to go against a belief because it was never yours in the first place, but he can never sway you away from your principle because you are one with your principle. A lady who lives from her principles takes personal responsibility for her own actions and responses.
She takes charge and never leaves her fate to the opinions or actions of men. She doesn’t go on a date with every man that asks her out because she doesn’t need a man – she would want a man but she fully well understands that her worth is solely appraised on who she is and not who she’s with. She would not change her principle to have or keep a man. She’s doesn’t need to sleep with a man to have or keep him. She understands that whatever she can’t get by way of her principles will never be her own. That you are sleeping with a guy does not mean he’s yours. If you had to sleep with him to keep him, he was never yours in the first place. In the absence of your personal standards, you end up trying many things and many people, but you never experience the love that is already within you. Allow that love within to write your standards and begin to live from them. That love will never lead you astray, never ever!
2. Why are you making excuses for him…..again?
I have come to observe that ladies often see the man as the prize. So once it looks like they have him – especially if he appears to be a good one – they want to do everything in their power to keep him. I understand that, but I don’t accept that and neither should you. You are the Prize. We should fight over you and want to do things to get and keep you. We should want to make sure you are ok.
A man who loves and respects a woman will never want her in doubt when it comes her knowing of his feelings towards her. When we are crazy about a woman, we are no longer the reserved and non emotional creatures you think we are. We become a mess - drooling internally when we think of you. We would never want you to feel you are on shaky ground concerning your status with us. We will publicly profess and show you to the whole world. We will put up a picture with you in it as the our profile pic, tag you in all photos you appear in and most importantly make sure that our status box shows that we are in a relationship with you. Yup, that’s what we do when we love you - we say it out LOUD!
And when we are out and about with you, our professions are usually crystal clear: ‘Meet my girlfriend, Sandra’ or ‘Meet my fiance, Sandra.’ Not, ‘Meet Sandra’ who is Sandra??? When we love you, we want the world to know that we love you. But I get amazed when ladies see the writing on the wall and continually make excuses to justify a man’s blatant abuse towards them. What do I mean? Take for instance the introductions highlighted above; He introduces you as just ‘Sandra’: you know you don’t like it, but you make an excuse within yourself and say, ‘he’s a private kinda guy, he doesn’t like to publicly show stuff.’ Really? Ok, let me ask, “Are you enrolled in midnight gymnastics with him?” In other words has he bent your body in ways you didn’t think possible? Well, there is only one thing worse than a guy sleeping with a woman in secret; and that is, a woman allowing that to happen. Before you allow a man do to you privately what can affect you publicly, he must first of all acknowledge you publicly as the woman he respects and loves. If he can’t do that, you need to tell me why you are still sticking around. How can you allow a man to knock you up when you are just ‘Sandra’ to him? You know you deserve better, so stop the excuses. Instead of making excuses for him, take charge – not of him or the relationship, but of yourself. Never remain in an environment where your integrity is compromised. Remember, you are the prize and we should work hard to get and keep you. And after all our hard work, you still have a right to say NO.
3. Why are you looking for ‘something’ in a bag of ‘nothings?’
A few years ago, a friend who was engaged was getting ready for her wedding which was just a couple of months away at the time. She called me occasionally during the preparation process, but on this one phone call, things were pretty bad. She was mad, upset, disappointed and unhappy that she was marrying this guy. So I asked her why she was still going on with the wedding if she felt the marriage wouldn’t work out. She said to me that she did not want the last four years of her life spent with him to go to waste. Hmmm! When she said this, I looked at my phone because I couldn’t look at her (she was in a different city) and in that instant – if I had a private jet – I would have flown to her city to give her a knock on her head - not a hard one, just a gentle knock - to help tilt her brain back to the center of her skull, because obviously it seemed out of balance with what she had just said to me. Let’s think about this, You are willing to screw up the next 50 years of your life, create babies in a hostile environment with a man you despise thereby screwing up the next generation, raising kids that would need therapy for the rest of their lives based on the abuse they will experience in that home, all because you don’t want the last four years of your life - 1,2,3,4 - to mean nothing (I’m having a headache just rehashing the story). So you are trying to create a love marriage from a four year crappy relationship. Needless to say, this lady was a young beautiful 28yr old lawyer. With good life habits she could easily live another healthy 50 years (Have you seen Barbara Walters lately? She’s 80). And here you are, willing to mortgage a future on four years with this jerk? She was desperately trying to make something out of nothing. That you’ve been in a long term relationship does not mean you should continually stay in it. Unfortunately for some ladies, it takes a while to see the light and muster up courage to get out of a bad situation. But when you see the light; RUN, GO, your life deserves it. If you don’t make that change, you’ll never know what’s out there? And when I say out there, I don’t mean what’s out there in another relationship; I mean what’s out there in you that you are yet to discover. Some of you ladies are afraid – afraid that you might not be married by a certain time. You begin the calculations, ‘Ok, I’m 28 now, if I break this up, how long will it take to find another guy and get married? Oooh! It may take another 4 years and I’ll be 32. No! I can’t be single at 30.” You are killing yourself with this kind of dialogue. Like she later said to me, she always saw herself married by 29. Needless to say, she was divorced by 29. They got married alright, but their divorce was made final before a possible 1st wedding anniversary. Sometimes we allow fear to dictate what we should do. We will never get from fear what love has to give. Love is bold, confident and fearless. Why are you scared? Why are you letting fear keep you in a relationship that you know you don’t want? Why do you want to marry a guy who has already made you feel like trash? Why are you choosing to be with someone you are not crazy about? Ok, so you are more concerned about looking good and successful on the outside at the expense of how you truly feel on the inside. You are too special for that. Let people think what they think, you know what you know and that’s all that should matter. Sometimes, we don’t believe; we don’t believe in ourselves, so we settle and then try to make something out of nothing. You can’t change another human being, it’s impossible. You haven’t even changed some things about yourself; how then do you think it possible to change another?
4. You’ve gotta think before you have his baby!
Often times when I’m in conversation with one of my numerous lady friends, something always cracks me up. I know they been having sex for years in and out of relationships and that fact is not hidden between us. But on some occasions, when I ask them if they have been pregnant before, their voice takes on a new tone of ‘How dare you?’ And then there is a resounding NO, like, ‘how could I get pregnant?’ Wait a minute! Am I missing something here? If you are having sex – sexual intercourse, you are potentially making a baby. You are filing an application. As soon as he ejaculates into you, the application is submitted and the outcome of that process is no longer left to you or him but to the Department of Conception. And if they approve it, you become pregnant whether you want it or not. Sex is not just about the pleasure derived, neither is it an antidote for loneliness. Sex is Responsibility; meaning you will have to respond to the outcome of that sexual encounter and sometimes it could be a lifetime of responses especially when a child is conceived. And when that child is born, you will forever have a symbol representing your union with your ex. Once a child is conceived, there is no moving on from that relationship. It begins the strongest bond known between a man and a woman. That man holds a special place in your heart regardless of how you feel about him today. You may have an abortion in trying to cut any future ties to this man, but may I have you know that the power of conception outweighs the power of birth. For something to be born, it has to be conceived. We are all on this earth first because of conception then birth. Without conception they will be no birth but without birth there can be conception. A strong bond is created when you allow a man’s sperm to start life within you. It is a major privilege to give to someone and not everyone should have that kind of access to you. If a man is horny and wants to be relieved, tell him to use his hand. You are no object and certainly no substitute for a man’s hand. So if you don’t want to have his baby, don’t make his baby.
5. I know there’s Pressure, but why are you under it?
I have come to observe that whether she’s 21 or 29, she always feels she’s running out of time. One thing you must understand is that pressure is not real. You are real and when you give attention to or come under the dominance of something that is impotent, you give it potency – you give it power. That is why this thing we call ‘pressure’ has the effect it has. You give it the effect. You are the effect. Sometimes we are driven by those voices of ignorance that may have come from people we love, so we try hard to get into a relationship and make it work. “Oh! This one has to work cos I’m almost 30.” Screw him and screw 30. You are more valuable to yourself and to the world than the timeline of your eggs or your age. Your world will not come to an end if you are not married by 30; in fact, it may just be beginning!
A few years ago, a lady friend of mine, who was 21 at the time called me up to talk about her ‘man' troubles. During our conversation, I observed that she had always been in a sexual relationship since she was 15. She confessed to me that she didn’t want to be alone; actually she didn’t know how to be alone. You see, you do yourself a huge injustice when you spend your formative years interrupted. Sex interrupts. It stops your creative and intellectual development and gives strength to your emotional cravings which should still be asleep. Your formative years are years you spend forming your person and your identity in readiness for your service to the world. Unfortunately, ladies give that time and space to some guy – a guy who may not even be in your life past your 30th birthday.
Have we as men failed you? Oh yes we have! As fathers some of us weren’t present in your young life. As uncles, instead of being fond of you, we fondled you. As friends we were more focused on the benefits instead of the sacrifice. We used you when we should have added value. We took advantage instead giving the advantage. We failed you quite all right, but you don’t have to do to yourself what we did to you – You don’t have to fail yourself. You can’t afford to fail yourself. You are the door to humanity. Life has to go through you to enter this earth. Even God needed a woman to come back into the world.
There’s no need to dumb yourself down or compromise your true integrity. We need the true you. We can’t exist without you and we will adjust to whatever standard you set for us – so why not make it high, why not make it YOU?
If you have come this far, I commend you.
- I will not set my standards any lower than they are meant to be.
- I shall not accept mediocrity in whatever shape or form it shows itself
- MOST IMPORTANTLY - I will not limit myself. For I know that I am worth more than I give myself credit for. I will not present myself as a charity case, nor something that is needing of pity
For pity does not breed love
If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. It's rather long, but think of it as something out of a little book you have picked up.
5 Mistakes Women Make - By Ekene Agabu
"A lady who lives from her principles takes personal responsibility for her own actions and responses. She takes charge and never leaves her fate to the opinions or actions of men. She doesn’t go on a date with every man that asks her out because she doesn’t need a man – she would want a man but she fully well understands that her worth is solely appraised on who she is and not who she’s with. She would not change her principle to have or keep a man. She’s doesn’t need to sleep with a man to have or keep him..........sleeping with a guy does not mean he’s yours. If you had to sleep with him to keep him, he was never yours in the first place."
Before I begin or rather let you into what I have written, I must confess that I had completed this article months ago but was a bit apprehensive in publishing it. I didn’t want to come across as being judgmental and if after reading this you feel judged or put down as a woman, please excuse my unskilled delivery, for that is not my intent. And if you feel that I have crossed the line as man sharing these with you, do not hesitate to express your disdain for my impetus.
Having said that, I feel qualified to write this as a man because I stand as an unbiased observer and also one who has had the opportunity to take advantage of these mistakes. But I must confess, we as men have been @$#*%*$ . Where we should have given, we took; where we should have loved, we lusted and where we should have preserved, we devoured. As a Man, I must call myself to higher standards. Before I touch you, I must respect you like my mother, protect you like my sister and look out for your best interest like my baby – after all, that’s what I call you when I want you! We’ve failed to realize that the significance of our masculinity does not lie in how many girls we can dis-virgin but rather the honor we can bestow upon one. We fail to understand that the purpose of our strength and dominance is to defend and protect not to attack and destroy.
But the first mistake was not yours. You were born into a world that didn’t even give you the chance - the chance to be who you really are without any pressure or expectation. From day one you were unconsciously groomed from childhood to be an acceptable accessory to a man’s life. You were constantly made conscious of a false milestone that suggested your value was based upon a man finding you worthy to be his, instead of being made aware of who you are by virtue of your own unique existence. Your worth as a woman was reduced to two things; being a wife and your ability to bear a child – and in some cultures, you had to bear the right type of child. And if per chance you failed in one of these areas, you were nobody, no one – you were nothing.
Unfortunately, along the way, you may have made some mistakes in trying to fulfill this false notion of who you are supposed to be. Bad relationship after bad relationship continually emphasized the lie that you were nothing without a man. Not only do you sit there as one with mental wounds from childhood, but also with hurts and wounds that are self inflicted as you sincerely tried to fulfill the so called destiny of the woman – being someone’s woman.
As I share this with you, I do not come as one who claims to understand your plight, but rather I stand as one who has heard you. From my mother to my aunts to my cousins and my friends, I have heard you and will continue to listen whenever you speak.
That being said, I do not believe we are responsible for the things that are done or said to us, but I do know that we are responsible for allowing those things continue in us. It’s in this light that I share with you the five common mistakes women make in relationships.
1. Your Personal Standards! Don't leave home without them!
By not setting your standard, you’ve just set the standard. The standards I speak of are not standards for the relationship; I speak of your personal standards irrespective of the relationship. What is your life’s moral compass?
This could get a bit confusing, so let me explain. Often times, at a certain point in life, people turn to religion for some sort of moral guidance or law. It’s an acknowledgment of some sort that they have made numerous personal mistakes and are in probable search for a turn around. So you might have a young lady who’s been around the block and has now become a Christian, and professes that she will be celibate until she gets married thereby claiming this new belief to be her standard. This is a religious belief that she has now adopted and not a personal standard. Your personal standards are born and realized from within you and become your principles rather than a law. A principle is born out of understanding; an understanding of who you are and why you are here on this earth. If you are roaming the earth like a lost sheep in search of a man to give you relevance, you will always find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship with each one leaving you even more confused than you were in the beginning. But when you understand that you are not here by chance and your presence on this earth has significant relevance, the aura about you changes and the people and things you accept into your life will only be a reflection of your internal essence or your personal standard.
A man can cause you to go against a belief because it was never yours in the first place, but he can never sway you away from your principle because you are one with your principle. A lady who lives from her principles takes personal responsibility for her own actions and responses.
She takes charge and never leaves her fate to the opinions or actions of men. She doesn’t go on a date with every man that asks her out because she doesn’t need a man – she would want a man but she fully well understands that her worth is solely appraised on who she is and not who she’s with. She would not change her principle to have or keep a man. She’s doesn’t need to sleep with a man to have or keep him. She understands that whatever she can’t get by way of her principles will never be her own. That you are sleeping with a guy does not mean he’s yours. If you had to sleep with him to keep him, he was never yours in the first place. In the absence of your personal standards, you end up trying many things and many people, but you never experience the love that is already within you. Allow that love within to write your standards and begin to live from them. That love will never lead you astray, never ever!
2. Why are you making excuses for him…..again?
I have come to observe that ladies often see the man as the prize. So once it looks like they have him – especially if he appears to be a good one – they want to do everything in their power to keep him. I understand that, but I don’t accept that and neither should you. You are the Prize. We should fight over you and want to do things to get and keep you. We should want to make sure you are ok.
A man who loves and respects a woman will never want her in doubt when it comes her knowing of his feelings towards her. When we are crazy about a woman, we are no longer the reserved and non emotional creatures you think we are. We become a mess - drooling internally when we think of you. We would never want you to feel you are on shaky ground concerning your status with us. We will publicly profess and show you to the whole world. We will put up a picture with you in it as the our profile pic, tag you in all photos you appear in and most importantly make sure that our status box shows that we are in a relationship with you. Yup, that’s what we do when we love you - we say it out LOUD!
And when we are out and about with you, our professions are usually crystal clear: ‘Meet my girlfriend, Sandra’ or ‘Meet my fiance, Sandra.’ Not, ‘Meet Sandra’ who is Sandra??? When we love you, we want the world to know that we love you. But I get amazed when ladies see the writing on the wall and continually make excuses to justify a man’s blatant abuse towards them. What do I mean? Take for instance the introductions highlighted above; He introduces you as just ‘Sandra’: you know you don’t like it, but you make an excuse within yourself and say, ‘he’s a private kinda guy, he doesn’t like to publicly show stuff.’ Really? Ok, let me ask, “Are you enrolled in midnight gymnastics with him?” In other words has he bent your body in ways you didn’t think possible? Well, there is only one thing worse than a guy sleeping with a woman in secret; and that is, a woman allowing that to happen. Before you allow a man do to you privately what can affect you publicly, he must first of all acknowledge you publicly as the woman he respects and loves. If he can’t do that, you need to tell me why you are still sticking around. How can you allow a man to knock you up when you are just ‘Sandra’ to him? You know you deserve better, so stop the excuses. Instead of making excuses for him, take charge – not of him or the relationship, but of yourself. Never remain in an environment where your integrity is compromised. Remember, you are the prize and we should work hard to get and keep you. And after all our hard work, you still have a right to say NO.
3. Why are you looking for ‘something’ in a bag of ‘nothings?’
A few years ago, a friend who was engaged was getting ready for her wedding which was just a couple of months away at the time. She called me occasionally during the preparation process, but on this one phone call, things were pretty bad. She was mad, upset, disappointed and unhappy that she was marrying this guy. So I asked her why she was still going on with the wedding if she felt the marriage wouldn’t work out. She said to me that she did not want the last four years of her life spent with him to go to waste. Hmmm! When she said this, I looked at my phone because I couldn’t look at her (she was in a different city) and in that instant – if I had a private jet – I would have flown to her city to give her a knock on her head - not a hard one, just a gentle knock - to help tilt her brain back to the center of her skull, because obviously it seemed out of balance with what she had just said to me. Let’s think about this, You are willing to screw up the next 50 years of your life, create babies in a hostile environment with a man you despise thereby screwing up the next generation, raising kids that would need therapy for the rest of their lives based on the abuse they will experience in that home, all because you don’t want the last four years of your life - 1,2,3,4 - to mean nothing (I’m having a headache just rehashing the story). So you are trying to create a love marriage from a four year crappy relationship. Needless to say, this lady was a young beautiful 28yr old lawyer. With good life habits she could easily live another healthy 50 years (Have you seen Barbara Walters lately? She’s 80). And here you are, willing to mortgage a future on four years with this jerk? She was desperately trying to make something out of nothing. That you’ve been in a long term relationship does not mean you should continually stay in it. Unfortunately for some ladies, it takes a while to see the light and muster up courage to get out of a bad situation. But when you see the light; RUN, GO, your life deserves it. If you don’t make that change, you’ll never know what’s out there? And when I say out there, I don’t mean what’s out there in another relationship; I mean what’s out there in you that you are yet to discover. Some of you ladies are afraid – afraid that you might not be married by a certain time. You begin the calculations, ‘Ok, I’m 28 now, if I break this up, how long will it take to find another guy and get married? Oooh! It may take another 4 years and I’ll be 32. No! I can’t be single at 30.” You are killing yourself with this kind of dialogue. Like she later said to me, she always saw herself married by 29. Needless to say, she was divorced by 29. They got married alright, but their divorce was made final before a possible 1st wedding anniversary. Sometimes we allow fear to dictate what we should do. We will never get from fear what love has to give. Love is bold, confident and fearless. Why are you scared? Why are you letting fear keep you in a relationship that you know you don’t want? Why do you want to marry a guy who has already made you feel like trash? Why are you choosing to be with someone you are not crazy about? Ok, so you are more concerned about looking good and successful on the outside at the expense of how you truly feel on the inside. You are too special for that. Let people think what they think, you know what you know and that’s all that should matter. Sometimes, we don’t believe; we don’t believe in ourselves, so we settle and then try to make something out of nothing. You can’t change another human being, it’s impossible. You haven’t even changed some things about yourself; how then do you think it possible to change another?
4. You’ve gotta think before you have his baby!
Often times when I’m in conversation with one of my numerous lady friends, something always cracks me up. I know they been having sex for years in and out of relationships and that fact is not hidden between us. But on some occasions, when I ask them if they have been pregnant before, their voice takes on a new tone of ‘How dare you?’ And then there is a resounding NO, like, ‘how could I get pregnant?’ Wait a minute! Am I missing something here? If you are having sex – sexual intercourse, you are potentially making a baby. You are filing an application. As soon as he ejaculates into you, the application is submitted and the outcome of that process is no longer left to you or him but to the Department of Conception. And if they approve it, you become pregnant whether you want it or not. Sex is not just about the pleasure derived, neither is it an antidote for loneliness. Sex is Responsibility; meaning you will have to respond to the outcome of that sexual encounter and sometimes it could be a lifetime of responses especially when a child is conceived. And when that child is born, you will forever have a symbol representing your union with your ex. Once a child is conceived, there is no moving on from that relationship. It begins the strongest bond known between a man and a woman. That man holds a special place in your heart regardless of how you feel about him today. You may have an abortion in trying to cut any future ties to this man, but may I have you know that the power of conception outweighs the power of birth. For something to be born, it has to be conceived. We are all on this earth first because of conception then birth. Without conception they will be no birth but without birth there can be conception. A strong bond is created when you allow a man’s sperm to start life within you. It is a major privilege to give to someone and not everyone should have that kind of access to you. If a man is horny and wants to be relieved, tell him to use his hand. You are no object and certainly no substitute for a man’s hand. So if you don’t want to have his baby, don’t make his baby.
5. I know there’s Pressure, but why are you under it?
I have come to observe that whether she’s 21 or 29, she always feels she’s running out of time. One thing you must understand is that pressure is not real. You are real and when you give attention to or come under the dominance of something that is impotent, you give it potency – you give it power. That is why this thing we call ‘pressure’ has the effect it has. You give it the effect. You are the effect. Sometimes we are driven by those voices of ignorance that may have come from people we love, so we try hard to get into a relationship and make it work. “Oh! This one has to work cos I’m almost 30.” Screw him and screw 30. You are more valuable to yourself and to the world than the timeline of your eggs or your age. Your world will not come to an end if you are not married by 30; in fact, it may just be beginning!
A few years ago, a lady friend of mine, who was 21 at the time called me up to talk about her ‘man' troubles. During our conversation, I observed that she had always been in a sexual relationship since she was 15. She confessed to me that she didn’t want to be alone; actually she didn’t know how to be alone. You see, you do yourself a huge injustice when you spend your formative years interrupted. Sex interrupts. It stops your creative and intellectual development and gives strength to your emotional cravings which should still be asleep. Your formative years are years you spend forming your person and your identity in readiness for your service to the world. Unfortunately, ladies give that time and space to some guy – a guy who may not even be in your life past your 30th birthday.
Have we as men failed you? Oh yes we have! As fathers some of us weren’t present in your young life. As uncles, instead of being fond of you, we fondled you. As friends we were more focused on the benefits instead of the sacrifice. We used you when we should have added value. We took advantage instead giving the advantage. We failed you quite all right, but you don’t have to do to yourself what we did to you – You don’t have to fail yourself. You can’t afford to fail yourself. You are the door to humanity. Life has to go through you to enter this earth. Even God needed a woman to come back into the world.
There’s no need to dumb yourself down or compromise your true integrity. We need the true you. We can’t exist without you and we will adjust to whatever standard you set for us – so why not make it high, why not make it YOU?
If you have come this far, I commend you.
Untitled
Its hard
Its really hard
Its very hard
And when its hard, you make foolish decisions
when you make foolish decisions, things go wrong.
Ho do I fix it when it goes wrong?
when its wrong,
You help me when I try to fix it
Cos two wrongs cannot make a right.
Its really hard
Its very hard
And when its hard, you make foolish decisions
when you make foolish decisions, things go wrong.
Ho do I fix it when it goes wrong?
when its wrong,
You help me when I try to fix it
Cos two wrongs cannot make a right.
Stepping Out
I know this isn't anything new but I just thought I'd ask again. What is the point of cheating? This is from both parties I mean. As in most stories I've heard have been that the guy is the one stepping out, but really we know women do it too. But these days its ridiculous. Why be in a relationship when you are not 'in' it? I've heard NEWLY weds seeing others, talk less of those who have been married for more. A man that is about to be married, in less than a week or weeks is doing it, with no hopes of quitting once he gets hitched (even if getting married draws the line).
The other part is when the girl knows! As in, its bad enough that you know, its at the back of your mind, but then when things happen in your presence eg he receives a phone call from the wife, or he takes you along to do shopping for HER....doesn't that loosen up the tight knots in the head and make them feel bad? ARE THEY THAT STUPID?
Its really baffling. One thing I know I'd emphasize in my own relationship is, if you know feelings are starting to change, the best thing to do is TELL ME. Where I can fix it, I'll try and where not, then maybe we should go our separate ways. Why will I be in a relationship where the other party is not happy? Even if I am happy, knowing that he is not makes me unhappy as well. So why go through all that heartache? Why put myself through all that? I know its easier said than done, but I'm being practical and realistic. Or am I just being Naive?
I mean the stories I'm hearing these days are ridiculously stupid. Where friends are finding out that their friends are seeing their Aunt's husband or their cousin's husband or the likes...Why is that? What is there? Is it the thrill? The hide and seek? Or its still this materialism that is digging deep into our lives? Which one is it?
The other part is when the girl knows! As in, its bad enough that you know, its at the back of your mind, but then when things happen in your presence eg he receives a phone call from the wife, or he takes you along to do shopping for HER....doesn't that loosen up the tight knots in the head and make them feel bad? ARE THEY THAT STUPID?
Its really baffling. One thing I know I'd emphasize in my own relationship is, if you know feelings are starting to change, the best thing to do is TELL ME. Where I can fix it, I'll try and where not, then maybe we should go our separate ways. Why will I be in a relationship where the other party is not happy? Even if I am happy, knowing that he is not makes me unhappy as well. So why go through all that heartache? Why put myself through all that? I know its easier said than done, but I'm being practical and realistic. Or am I just being Naive?
I mean the stories I'm hearing these days are ridiculously stupid. Where friends are finding out that their friends are seeing their Aunt's husband or their cousin's husband or the likes...Why is that? What is there? Is it the thrill? The hide and seek? Or its still this materialism that is digging deep into our lives? Which one is it?
10 less 2 things...
I hate these things!!
Argghhh
8 Things I look forward to
1. Getting a Job
2. Moving to Naij
3. Graduation
4. Going to a Wedding...Someone PLS GET MARRIED LIKE...NOW!
5. Becoming a size 10...ok maybe 12
6. My hair to GROW!!!
7. Going to Dubai
8. Getting a LIFE!!!
8 Things I did yesterday
1. Things that need to be censored! Lets keep it at that
2. Went to frigging training, that had me in pain for the rest of the night
3. Made that efo...Hmmm dont watch that!
4. Stared at my uni email inbox and wondered how I'd sort out over thousands of emails that I've kept over the last 3 years, before the email address gets shut down
5. Burnt the dodo, which was unripe anyway, though the skin said otherwise, and so it became extra bitter
6.Came to terms with the fact that a 2.1 is what I'm likely to get! Stupid Lecturers!
7. Realised that most of the places on campus dont open till 9.30...like the frigging cashiers office!
8. Bought my favourite muffin...Banana and walnut; stared at it for hours out of guilt, decided not to eat it, went out, came back....picked it up and quaffed it!
8 Things I wish to do
1. Get married
2. Get published : What I'm publishing, I dont know!
3. Get a Phd: In what, I dont know
4. Go sky diving...it might just stay a wish for a VERY long time!
5. Have lots of kids
6. Get a NEW LAPTOP
7. Get my hair into dreads! Will save me money and time in the long run
8. Get the balls to tell some people to EFF off
8 shows I watch
1. 24...Gatta love Jack- His screaming alone can make you wet your pants, before you finally decide to answer him
2. Prison break: Sob....Why Scofield, why?
3. Desperate housewives
4. Brothers and Sisters
5. Used to watch heroes, till it became pointless
6. Boston Legal- Loveeeeeeeeeeee Denny Crane
7. Entourage.... Ari Gold is the man
8. CSI
8 Bloggers tagged
1. Spesh
2. Incog
3. Mizcheif
...Ermmm
PS: I am not getting MARRIED O! E ma koba mi o, but thank you for the good wishes in advance, I shall be sure to let you know when that happens!
I did say, I'd gone old school right?
Lets see if you remember this.
Argghhh
8 Things I look forward to
1. Getting a Job
2. Moving to Naij
3. Graduation
4. Going to a Wedding...Someone PLS GET MARRIED LIKE...NOW!
5. Becoming a size 10...ok maybe 12
6. My hair to GROW!!!
7. Going to Dubai
8. Getting a LIFE!!!
8 Things I did yesterday
1. Things that need to be censored! Lets keep it at that
2. Went to frigging training, that had me in pain for the rest of the night
3. Made that efo...Hmmm dont watch that!
4. Stared at my uni email inbox and wondered how I'd sort out over thousands of emails that I've kept over the last 3 years, before the email address gets shut down
5. Burnt the dodo, which was unripe anyway, though the skin said otherwise, and so it became extra bitter
6.Came to terms with the fact that a 2.1 is what I'm likely to get! Stupid Lecturers!
7. Realised that most of the places on campus dont open till 9.30...like the frigging cashiers office!
8. Bought my favourite muffin...Banana and walnut; stared at it for hours out of guilt, decided not to eat it, went out, came back....picked it up and quaffed it!
8 Things I wish to do
1. Get married
2. Get published : What I'm publishing, I dont know!
3. Get a Phd: In what, I dont know
4. Go sky diving...it might just stay a wish for a VERY long time!
5. Have lots of kids
6. Get a NEW LAPTOP
7. Get my hair into dreads! Will save me money and time in the long run
8. Get the balls to tell some people to EFF off
8 shows I watch
1. 24...Gatta love Jack- His screaming alone can make you wet your pants, before you finally decide to answer him
2. Prison break: Sob....Why Scofield, why?
3. Desperate housewives
4. Brothers and Sisters
5. Used to watch heroes, till it became pointless
6. Boston Legal- Loveeeeeeeeeeee Denny Crane
7. Entourage.... Ari Gold is the man
8. CSI
8 Bloggers tagged
1. Spesh
2. Incog
3. Mizcheif
...Ermmm
PS: I am not getting MARRIED O! E ma koba mi o, but thank you for the good wishes in advance, I shall be sure to let you know when that happens!
I did say, I'd gone old school right?
Lets see if you remember this.
Hi hater, See you later
I didnt have a decent title, pls allow me!!
This is becoming a habit and its sooo bad!!! One would think that now that Im done with Uni, I'd at least put up a decent post once in a while, but no the reverse is the case. I confess though, on some days, Ive just been a total bum, and on others, I've just had other things to do.
Working on some projects...Yay, Im so excited!!!
Life is SLOWLY taking off, but hey...at least its taking off!
So Ive kind of managed to bag that BSc, unofficially, that is....
At least no more exams...till...Well, we'll see about the masters! Till then, no exams.
Meanwhile... I'm excited!!! Yay! I'm getting MARRIED!***
I'm Excited about too many thngs
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
The Gist will come later...
In the mean time...
I have to go and make some Efo: Dunno which to go for...efo riro or egusi...hmm
I see mouths waterinG (CLOSE IT)
I am going to cook till I drop...No eating outdoors!!
I have been slacking on Fatbusters (Sting I am so so sorry)
So graduation is coming up,
Grad ball is coming up,
Birthday is coming up,
Projects are taking off..
(And maybe finally take pff to Las Gidi..who knows)
My post is dismemebered, I know, bear with me. Its how I feel at the moment
HELLO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRB!!
I'VE BEEN FEELING RATHER NOSTALGIC LATELY
So I went on to youtube and I found this...
The embed link was disabled :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9n22cWMAhM
***Believe at your own risk
This is becoming a habit and its sooo bad!!! One would think that now that Im done with Uni, I'd at least put up a decent post once in a while, but no the reverse is the case. I confess though, on some days, Ive just been a total bum, and on others, I've just had other things to do.
Working on some projects...Yay, Im so excited!!!
Life is SLOWLY taking off, but hey...at least its taking off!
So Ive kind of managed to bag that BSc, unofficially, that is....
At least no more exams...till...Well, we'll see about the masters! Till then, no exams.
Meanwhile... I'm excited!!! Yay! I'm getting MARRIED!***
I'm Excited about too many thngs
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
Im excited!!!!!!!!!
The Gist will come later...
In the mean time...
I have to go and make some Efo: Dunno which to go for...efo riro or egusi...hmm
I see mouths waterinG (CLOSE IT)
I am going to cook till I drop...No eating outdoors!!
I have been slacking on Fatbusters (Sting I am so so sorry)
So graduation is coming up,
Grad ball is coming up,
Birthday is coming up,
Projects are taking off..
(And maybe finally take pff to Las Gidi..who knows)
My post is dismemebered, I know, bear with me. Its how I feel at the moment
HELLO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRB!!
I'VE BEEN FEELING RATHER NOSTALGIC LATELY
So I went on to youtube and I found this...
The embed link was disabled :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9n22cWMAhM
***Believe at your own risk
Rant # 2 - am not feeling this
I did say I'd do this again, so I'm back for another people bashing on language and its misuse.
So come the shorthand nonsense, obviously follows those that do not understand the simple rules of grammar. I'm not talking about the ones that show off that they have a high vocab standard, theres nothing wrong with that. If you've got it, flaunt it. I fo one, would like to speak like the Wole Soyinkas one day. Not like the academics in Business, Law, or Psychology Journals (to name a few)that feel the need to use one big word after every preposition in their sentence.
This is an example:
Tell me, if you know nothing of unions and productivity, does this help you in any way?
HISS
Anyways I'm not talking about the over-sabis.
Im talking about those that missed primary 2 and 3, when we were being taught the preliminaries of the English Language.
I know people will say, ehn but English is not our first language. Please that is the lamest excuse ever, because English is the language of the world. The world trades in English, the world communicates in English..hence there is no argument there. If we are anti-westernisation, then why do we strive so hard to gain their education? why?Why didnt we all just stick to our farming and hunting, as opposed to becoming civilized. If we dont want to speak English, then we shouldnt. I will teach my child Yoruba o, dont get me wrong, but he will learn the English equally well.
Forget people who have gone to 'jakande' schools or what ever, I understand, they may have received second hand education, but I tell you , half of them do not come out writing like this.
The one I see the most, that makes me cringe, that can make me lose interest in a guy once I see it, the one that makes me scream my head off is 'am' for i'm... but as in, really?
Why???? why?
I'm not saying Nigeriansare the only ones that do it, so dont get me wrong, alot of other people do it but I think its just not right. I understand the mistake once or twice, but there are people that just cant stop using it that way.
I have the memory of a fish so I cant list the ones Ive seen, but Im sure you guys know what Im on about.
So come the shorthand nonsense, obviously follows those that do not understand the simple rules of grammar. I'm not talking about the ones that show off that they have a high vocab standard, theres nothing wrong with that. If you've got it, flaunt it. I fo one, would like to speak like the Wole Soyinkas one day. Not like the academics in Business, Law, or Psychology Journals (to name a few)that feel the need to use one big word after every preposition in their sentence.
This is an example:
Thus instead of wrenching unions from context and treating them as an exogeneous determinant of productivity, the best work has sought to recontextualize their social practices and view them as one element in a complex parallelogram of market, technological and institutional forces determining outcomes in production.
Tell me, if you know nothing of unions and productivity, does this help you in any way?
HISS
Anyways I'm not talking about the over-sabis.
Im talking about those that missed primary 2 and 3, when we were being taught the preliminaries of the English Language.
I know people will say, ehn but English is not our first language. Please that is the lamest excuse ever, because English is the language of the world. The world trades in English, the world communicates in English..hence there is no argument there. If we are anti-westernisation, then why do we strive so hard to gain their education? why?Why didnt we all just stick to our farming and hunting, as opposed to becoming civilized. If we dont want to speak English, then we shouldnt. I will teach my child Yoruba o, dont get me wrong, but he will learn the English equally well.
Forget people who have gone to 'jakande' schools or what ever, I understand, they may have received second hand education, but I tell you , half of them do not come out writing like this.
The one I see the most, that makes me cringe, that can make me lose interest in a guy once I see it, the one that makes me scream my head off is 'am' for i'm... but as in, really?
Why???? why?
I'm not saying Nigeriansare the only ones that do it, so dont get me wrong, alot of other people do it but I think its just not right. I understand the mistake once or twice, but there are people that just cant stop using it that way.
I have the memory of a fish so I cant list the ones Ive seen, but Im sure you guys know what Im on about.
Indecent Exposures III
Considering I have 3 posts on indecent exposures, one would think I must be some recluse, suffering from the trauma of having been exposed one too many times.
Well in this context, I havent actually been visibly exposed, its more of 'hearing', which kind of builds up to an image you really wouldnt want to 'see'.
So do you live with married adults?
Parents?
Brother maybe?
Or sister, or aunt, probably uncle?
Erm, has it crossed your mind once or twice on how they erm 'make babies'?
If it hasnt, now it has. (Evil grin).
Well unfortunately for me, "I've been hearing too much of it lately". I need ear plugs and a not so imaginative mind.
HELP!
Well in this context, I havent actually been visibly exposed, its more of 'hearing', which kind of builds up to an image you really wouldnt want to 'see'.
So do you live with married adults?
Parents?
Brother maybe?
Or sister, or aunt, probably uncle?
Erm, has it crossed your mind once or twice on how they erm 'make babies'?
If it hasnt, now it has. (Evil grin).
Well unfortunately for me, "I've been hearing too much of it lately". I need ear plugs and a not so imaginative mind.
HELP!
Rant # 1 - Shrt Hnd.
I HATE IT!!!
I hate shorthand.
If you went to secondary school in Nigeria and did Business Studies, then you'd remember the stupidity in doing that part of the subject. Drawing lines in place of words, and by the end of writing a few sentences, your 'reporter's note' resembled something out of a very posh nursery school where the 3 year olds had learnt to chicken scratch in a very systematic way or looked like some rubbish being labelled as post-modern art nowadays.
I'm actually not talking about that. I'm talking about the way we have resorted to sending our text messages, or the more annoying one, the way we chat on msn or wherever.
Notice the I'm has become 'am'? And 'as' and 'use' seemingly the only correct words in that sentence . But, that one is a post for another day.
Back to short hand...I don't understand why we do this. For sms messages, I understand we want to cramp as many words as we can into one message, but then chatting too? Is it because you want to type much faster? I think it makes you type much slower.
Even I do the occasional 'n' for and or 'r' for are, but the things like 'lyk for like is just ridiculous or mess'd for messed...erm sorry what is the apostrophe for? Isnt it a character for that same character that you are trying to avoid typing?
It is absolutely disgusting....
I get so many messages from naija that I find so hard to decipher mainly because every other word is in shorthand. why have we become so lazy to write and talk properly? I spoke to one of my friends about it because hers is just too much for me to handle and she said to me that it has affected her writing in general...worse still that she is a graduate soon to be going into employment and writing reports proposals. It is that bad that she cant separate the two styles of writing and it has become part of her.
Anyone feel me or disagree?
Ps: I am not directly attacking anyone o!!
I hate shorthand.
If you went to secondary school in Nigeria and did Business Studies, then you'd remember the stupidity in doing that part of the subject. Drawing lines in place of words, and by the end of writing a few sentences, your 'reporter's note' resembled something out of a very posh nursery school where the 3 year olds had learnt to chicken scratch in a very systematic way or looked like some rubbish being labelled as post-modern art nowadays.
I'm actually not talking about that. I'm talking about the way we have resorted to sending our text messages, or the more annoying one, the way we chat on msn or wherever.
am nt sayn dat I dnt use shrt hnd, bt nt as ridiculsly as dis.
Notice the I'm has become 'am'? And 'as' and 'use' seemingly the only correct words in that sentence . But, that one is a post for another day.
Back to short hand...I don't understand why we do this. For sms messages, I understand we want to cramp as many words as we can into one message, but then chatting too? Is it because you want to type much faster? I think it makes you type much slower.
Even I do the occasional 'n' for and or 'r' for are, but the things like 'lyk for like is just ridiculous or mess'd for messed...erm sorry what is the apostrophe for? Isnt it a character for that same character that you are trying to avoid typing?
It is absolutely disgusting....
I get so many messages from naija that I find so hard to decipher mainly because every other word is in shorthand. why have we become so lazy to write and talk properly? I spoke to one of my friends about it because hers is just too much for me to handle and she said to me that it has affected her writing in general...worse still that she is a graduate soon to be going into employment and writing reports proposals. It is that bad that she cant separate the two styles of writing and it has become part of her.
Anyone feel me or disagree?
Ps: I am not directly attacking anyone o!!
