Getting to know you.

How do you get to know people?

By asking questions right?

Especially as we live in a world where our relationships are now 'over the waves'. We hardly do much in person. Twitter and BBM have taken over our lives.

Anyways, I digress.

Here's a scenario - people meet, get introduced, exchange pins (as is mostly the case) and kick off! They talk, perhaps ask questions within that process and 'get to know each other'.

Now here's where my problem is, recently I've been accused of 'not asking any questions'. Its happened on more than one occasion hence the reason why its become a bit of a concern. I've been told that I answer questions and don't ask any, which indirectly means I probably don't care. On my part, I'd say that's a bit harsh cos although it might ring true, its never really the case. It got me thinking though, so how do I get to 'know people'. I find that I can't really do the initial interrogation. Probably because it isn't effective for me. So when the questions end, how well do your conversational skills fare from that point? I think I'd rather study people and insert important information where appropriate. Many actually miss the fact one can say a lot or nothing in a conversation, depends on how receptive the person is to 'new entrants' in their lives. That is not to say they aren't 'interested'. So it feels rather weird when I get told "I've been asking all the questions since, I think its your turn now".

How do I deal with that? "Oh ok, so how many siblings do you have? Where do you live? What's your position in the family?" (I actually find that very archaic) but hey, whatever rocks your boat mate!

For me getting to know people involves learning how they think. Its a subconscious thing, I don't need to ask questions. Actually, I'm better off being asked questions cos I can't do the 'About You' speech.

Might seem like brain fart to some but in my mind, I've made a lot of sense. No?
Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone, from Etisalat.

14 Cogitations:

leggy said...

i've never really had to 'ask questions'. there are just conversations that start off and veer off to so many places that after speaking to you a couple of times, i probably know a lot about you.

LusciousRon said...

Here is what I do, I ask the same questions I have been asked. The answers might reveal follow up questions. Goodluck

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rethots said...

"...getting to know people involves learning how they think." tis all about intuition and not necessarily the interrogation.

Anonymous said...

I have often been accused of the exact same thing.But they don't understand the reason for my being quiet in comparison to them is that just like you i'm studying them body language etc much more information in that than a bunch of questions as if we were on a quiz show! Great blog by the way

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