If I ruled the world= No more tagging!


The person that started this tagging nonsense must have been bored and lacked ideas for his or her new post!!

Forget the rules cos I cant be bothered to tag anyone.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Cant get enough- Mary J. Blige
I told Charizard this thing is evil. I had no idea what the question meant till I got this song as my answer.

No way! I don't telll guys to come and check on anything

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL ? Dilemma- Nelly and Kelly
someone interprete please?

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Against all odds- Phil Collins...Yeah mehn! That is my state of mind right now....I shall breakthrough!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Make it rain- Fat Joe and the other dudes - Hell to the yeah! Make it rain some dough!!!! LOL, maybe this thing isnt so evil afterall

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? In case you don't know- Timaya...Damn right, I am the mother of them all...they better be thinking that

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Hotel-R kelly n Cassidy .....lol
No comment o... did know there was somn fishy about them...I didnt know they were this kinky

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Control myself- LL Cool J n J.lo...see this dirty minded thing o! Yeah I do think about controlling myself...but not in that way...more like learning to curb my sarcasm....No one dare to state otherwise...i forbid you...yeah u tininu!

WHAT IS 2+2? heartburn...alicia keys...go figure!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Bed-J holiday! Ahhhhhhhhhhh....you must be possessed. I don't have a best friend and even if I do, I think its a girl....so how about a big fat NO!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? shakomo- Remedies...Yep I'm done fronting...I'm all yours my sweets

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Good life- Kanye...ahhn ahn too mad jo! 'welcome to the good life'...hop in lemme show u around

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Fuji- Dare art alade.... because why?

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? I want it that way- backstreet boys...yeah I want it this way.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Harder to breathe- maroon 5....some kind of weirdo that can live without breathing

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING ?Macarena... Yeah should be fun

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?Do without my love-Nathan... Yep...you guys are gonna be distraught without my love

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Hotel California- Eagles...If you know he deep meaning of the song, then you feel me...but I dont get as bad as the characters in the song o...

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Mo sorire- Paul play....I guess that cant be a secret for too long

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Its not right, but its ok- whitney houston....True say...I condone some of them for some reason beyond me...I think I'm just too nice

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? If I ruled the world- Nas n Lauren hill..ermm ok

FYI...I didnt edit it!

Ok maybe for one or t

Indecent Exposures II


So I was having a shower the other day and my 8 year old nephew strolled into the bathroom. Boy, was I furious, but I didnt really scold him for some reason cos his mother has a shower with the door WIDE open, so I thought, no biggie.

But I was still pissed cos I felt that I had just exposed myself to a little boy. Selfishly of me, I was only worried about myself and not what was going on in the poor boy's head.

This got me thinking about what went through my head when I was almost eight. I think I already knew seeing naked people was a bit of errr......a not so cool thing at that age and this took me back to another incident that occurred after the other indecent exposure. I think it was about a year after or there abouts. I lived in a house that had 4 flats in it and we lived in the bottom flat whilst another family lived in the other bottom flat. The family was quite small. An old man, say probably about 50/6o with his young wife who had a kid, not the old man's though.

I was hardly ever outside of our flat, but that afternoon, I think I was probably seated by the back door which went through the kitchen, engrossed in one of my dictionaries or a newspaper that I'd been forced to read and had to re-tell whatever it is I'd read in it to my mother. The kitchen door to the other flat was right next to ours too. The old man came in from wherever he'd been out to, I greeted him and he went into his flat. A few minutes later, he came up to me and said he wanted to send me some where.

Here I should tell you the story behind living in my mother's house. Basically, I only stepped out of my house when I had to go to school or follow an adult somewhere. Plus, my street in Surulere, at that time, didn't have any abokis that sold things in front of the houses that were there. So my street was bare. If you needed anything, it had to be bought from the supermarket that was on the next street or from another aboki that turned out to be on that street too, but across the road. Thinking about it now, it was as though all those abokis had planned not to deface the street with their little kiosks.

Unfortunately for him, I don't think he knew that going to either of those two places required that I either went with an adult or I had to cross the road (of which I could only do with an adult anyway).

So I said to him that I couldnt go. He asked me why and I said (erm duhh) I cannot go out on my own or cross the road, but I can get Kemi ( the help) to go for you. He said fine. I called on Kemi and told her that the old man wanted her to get something for him. She didnt find it funny, but I didnt ask why.

She got back, called him from the window of his living room to collect his robb and he told her to bring it in, that the door was open. She opened the kitchen door, placed the robb on the worktop and called out to him that she'd left it there, and that she needed to do something for my mum quickly. I wondered what rubbish she was talking, because my mother wasn't even home. Again, I let it slide.

A few minutes afterwards, he called my name and asked me to please come in and help him with something that he muttered under his breath. I went in through the kitchen, down to the living room. I said to him that I was there, then he told me to come into the bedroom. I opened the door, and what did I see. An ape looking figure lying on the bed. It was the old man. Ask me why he was ape looking?

Cos he was naked and HAIRY. Shet, I don't know if it was the nakedness that scared the shit out of me or the fact that the hair made him look so much like a monkey. I was lost for words as I ran out the way I'd come in from. I went into my house and locked the door. When I mean locked, I mean naija style lock, where theres the key lock, then the padlocks and then the bolts on the door too. I bumped into Kemi as I was running to my room, but didn't say a word to her.

When my mom got home, I remember she got into a shouting match with the old man, and I was scared because even though I didnt mention the whole thing to anyone, I thought my mother knew. But then it turned out that he was the reason we had to change helps every so often and Kemi had been the only one that had the courage to tell my mother he had tried to get with her. All these I learnt years after, when we had moved out of the flat.

Then, I thought O.M.G
Now I'm thinking, but W.T.F

Till this day, I never said a word to anyone and it makes me wonder that if this happened to a lot of children out there, parents would never know the things that happen to their child. Or, was it just me that turned out to be a mute child and not tell anyone?

Either way, I fear o!

Dear Mother,

My Dearest,

Gone are the days when we would lie in on a Saturday morning
Watching the Cadbury's breakfast show,
We would catch up on the week gone past,
The troubles I'd been through at school,
The trials you'd been through with securing that contract,
I didn't think I'd miss those days.

Gone are the days when you would dig out your whip,
Beat the advice into me,
That was the only way you knew how,
That was the way you had been 'advised'
That, has inevitably shaped my person today.

Gone are the days when we would cook the last bag of meat,
And pray to God that the pot wouldn't be empty before it got refilled.
It was just you and I.
The older ones were out of the country, fending for themselves.
You wouldn't let me leave with them.
I was your companion.
The only companion.

Gone are the days when we would not talk
Either because I had been naughty or...well usually it was only because of that.
You warned me, that come the time, I would be alone.
The time is now and I wish I heeded those words,
I heard them but I didn't listen.
I was probably too young to realise.

Gone are the days I would wish I didn't have to go home from school
I found my haven at school, My solace.
I would stall leaving school for home everyday,
Just so I didn't have to do those dishes or fill up the house with water.
But now I still do them, but I do them with pride because I know you taught me well.

Gone are the days when we would plan my future, our future.
The future is here now, but not the way we planned it.
It has been good, but it could be better.
Still, I am proud.
And though the days are gone,
I have the pleasure of re-living them,
One day at a time,
And I've started, by wearing those waist beads.

Yours lovingly.
A. O. S. D.

Inspired by many bloggers.
More letters to come!

Randomly....I just had to share this!

Nothing to do.

Youtube tends to do the trick.

I bumped into this video.

At first I thought but WTF....but I'll let you decide.

This one's my all time favourite.
As in Naija commercials are too mad jo!
But why do they have that 'I'm watching channel o' feel... All dark and grey!

And this one...fogerrrit!

Here mother was sitting right there and she stroked the hell out of the woman!!