No title
Thats cos I have nothing to say.
I noticed i'd been blogging on thursdays
Don't know why?
I just thought I didnt want to break that
But I still dont have anything to say.
Actually I do,
I cried today. I cried alot.
I dont know why.
Maybe I do,
Maybe they are just too many things to point at
I want to feel sorry for myself
But thats unfair to people who really should feel pity for themselves.
But I am still distraught
But maybe over unimportant things,
But still, they add up to the little happiness that I might feel.
I am between a rock and a hard place,
Actually I'm not.
Cos I dont have daunting decisions to make.
I'm just scared.
Scared of too many things.
The only one person I can talk to,
I cant talk about everything with.
So I have to deal with it on my own.
And that I will do, as I always have.
Well not entirely on my own.
There have been people
Not really actually,
they've just been there,
They USED to be there,
Not really done anything.
There were there to talk to, each about different things.
They are all gone. ALL.
Not all actually,
One person has been there,
No, two.
but I dont see Him, one.
Do I need to? I cant anyway even if I wanted to.
But I'd like to.
He knows EVERYTHING before I do
He knows EVERYTHING before they happen,
So we might as well talk about things
But then I dont know what to say.
I have nothing to say.
Should I have something to say?
I'm confused.

Finding me...

Recently, I ran into an old friend, and the first thing she said was, "you havent changed". I said to her, now that you've said that, I'd like you to please tell me how I was that I havent changed from.

Her statement made me a bit disappointed in myself that, perhaps I wasnt doing so much in line with my new year resolutions. Then again, its only the 22nd, I cant turn a new leaf in a second.

I consider myself to be a pretty nice person. At secondary school, I was usually the first to talk to that new student, however creepy he or she might look, considering how un-inviting the atmosphere of secondary school is and how unfriendly teenagers can get. After the person had warmed up to the class, I'd back out and leave the person be.
I wasnt much of a clique person. I spent alot of time with my juniors, mainly because when I started the school, there were less that 10 of us in each class and we all became friends, especially as the students in the class a year above mine refused to be friends with us.
Even after getting to final year at secondary school and becoming the senior prefect, I still didnt look down on my mates, let alone the junior ones, so much so that it used to piss the girls in my class off, that I was hob-nobbing with the 'juniors'.

Having said that, I had my boundaries. I had days where I would'nt say a word to anyone, maybe because I just didnt feel like it, or I'd had too much trouble at home, that it had changed my whole perception of my life.

I believe I am one to give more, in a relationship, be it with a girl or boy...(not that kind of relationship...silly). I worry over everything. The slightest change in the person's demeanour arouses my worry, and I always think it has something to do with me. It's never them, its me. I always feel the need to make sure that they are pleased with me, that I'm not being a pest and if they needed their space, all they need do was raise the hand and I'd be gone, though I'd still be around the corner, if I was needed.

I was talking to someone the other day and he said, ''you are always so emotionless'', another said, why are you always so cold? , another said, whats the matter, you seem to be so snappy these days?

Now, I am as confused as you are.

I know some will say, 'let them say', 'you are your own person', dont let people judge you.
Well honestly, however misconstrued people's judgements may be, theres always an iota of truth in it, right?

So this is my blogger 'honesty box'...
Pretend, I havent just biased your thinking with all of the above, as accuratley as you can, I want you to tell me what your impression of me is. From whatever it is you may have read, other posts, some of you that I may have spoken to, or even met.
Who is this person?

Here's Gloria Gaynor


Yes I know, the block is going around. I didnt think it'd affect me but I guess its just the cold thats giving me the freeze. So I'll be as random as random can be...(that just doesnt sound right)

*Update on last post. Thanks guys. I was told to get some aloe vera gel, apparently it works quite well on things like these. Hmm, we'll see how it goes.

Random #1: I just went to the gossip girl naija blog and damn that spot is brimming with gist!!!! Geezz!
Some of those people actually go to my uni, well they've finished now (NO I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHO THEY ARE) and to think I didnt know jack shit about them....wow! I dont know anything about anybody anyways so its good to get informed. Yes I like gist, you nko???
Wow, I'ma be hitting that spot like every minute...F5 Baby....F5!

GGN is HOT! lol, unlike some, me I'm not scared cos, I know my gist cant enter those zones, plainly because there is NO GIST. LOL this is as good as it gets right here.

Random # 2: Whats the deal with people asking "awon oko nko"? (how are the husbands?) especially ones that havent seen you in a verrrry long time, or the ones you rarely spoke to even when you used to see them.
This is a convo on facebook with an old classmate from secondary school. I think I barely spoke 10 words to her each day at school! Not that I was snobbish, no...shush. She was just tooo quiet.

She: awon oko nko

Me: lol
awon oko wo?

She:dont tel u dont av one

Me :lol
The ones you gave me?

She:dat wil be d greastet joke av heard dis new yr

Me: ahn ahn
why now

She: anywaiz i can hook u up wit one of my brothers
if u dont mind

Me: lol,
o serious

She: they wil take care of u

thats funny

She:no fear oh money dey

This is me thinking....ehm 2 things. No I dont want you to hook me up with your brother and even if, I dont want his money.

Why is it that everything revolves around money? It's all about the prospects! If you are daddy's spoilt rich kid and you dont seem to have a life, dont come near me! Psheeewww!

Random #3: Yes, on another random note, I feel like looking for trouble. You know, like do little things to tick people off. I'm on one mission at the moment *wink wink*.

Oh and I had one over the hols. I got someones number from my friend and played the dumped one nightstander on him. Oh boy, he didnt find it funny o. That was the first time I'd done that kinda crap and mehn it was fun!!!! Did I say he didnt find it funny? Well when I told him it was me and I apologised, the dude has refused to talk to me. Not that we ever talked that much anyway, so I guess that was why he got pissed.
So yeah, forget that one, I need another scape goat.And more ideas! If GGN is on a rampage, then so am I!

I is out!
Do have a lovely day.

If you've noticed, I've been adding videos to my posts, well yeah, Its a way of sharing my awesome itunes playlist.

Thisone right here holds a special place in my heart. Talk about SEXY!!!!!!
This song, one ipod, one ipod dock, one room, one guy, one girl...and the rest they say is HIStory.


...is what I'm meant to be doing . And the deadline for it is tommorrow. God please help me. This is for my project by the way, so don't think I'm going nuts.

This is very random by the way, so pardon the incoherence when you do come across it.

So, the other day, the most steeeewwwpid thing happened. I had just made some food, what else? Rice and stew naw.
I took it up to my room and left it on the bed cos I realised I didnt have a glass for my ribena, so I went downstairs to get one.

I came back and gbos!

I had just sat on my scorching hot rice.

What????? It was not cool, no pun intended, but kai, it so wasnt funny. The heat went straight through my jeans, underwear and hit my bum with so much fierceness, that for a split second, I thought shet, is hell gonna be this hot??? Seriously, I'm not kidding. I took my jeans off and it was plastered with the top of the heap that had the stew on it, so the rice in the place was missing stew cos my jeans had it.


Now, I'm not sure if I have a burn patch on my bum. I know thats so random, but I dont have a standing mirror in my room. Would I look weird if I went into the changing room in H&M to check? As in picture me in the changing room with my trousers down and my underwear halfway down with me checking out my bum in the mirror? Actually that doesnt sound right, so NO, I'm not going to check my bum patch in H&M!
Do I have any volunteers? Hit me asap, I need to know if I need to fix it...I cant have that PATCH, not because it defaces my bum, but because its too embarrasing for me to explain how I got it.

It does sound like a repeat of violated, doesnt it? I don't know how these things happen to me o.

I hope you learn not to put rice on the bed, and most inportantly DO NOT SIT ON IT!

Heres the best Phil Collins performance ever!


Have a lovely day.

~Happy New Date~

Yes, we are back at the top of the cycle, so I guess this is the point where I say Happy new cycle.

I am glad that myself and whoever is reading this has had the chance to see the beginning of this new cycle, and my prayer is that for even though we have seen the beginning of this one, may we see the end and the ends and beginnings of many more.
It is both sad and happy cos every new date makes a difference in my life and also marks the anniversary of the death of my cousin who passed away on a fateful new years day.

Now to the resolutions
I actually don't do resolutions, but at this stage, for some reason, I feel like I need to start making some targets for myself, cos I just do things and I have no idea what I expect for myself, under the premise that whatever comes is what's been ordained for me. I believe that's the healthier option isn't it?

1. I say this every year and I don't do much towards it, but I guess the more I say it, the more it becomes a part of me and I shall get into the habit of working towards it. I need a better relationship with God. He has been wonderful to me in indescribable ways and I haven't shown my appreciation like I should. I fear that If I keep up this behaviour, He may soon forget me. I don't want that, now nor at anytime in my life.

2. I need to stop caring. It's not what you think. Its more like I need to stop caring so much that it starts to veer on the edge of stalking/bugging/Nagging...e.t.c
I've started to get hints that I can be quite bothersome and people have started to avoid me. Their loss or mine? I don't know, but I'd rather avoid having to think of it even if its true or not.

3. I need to map out my life. What am I doing with myself. People ask me what I want to do after uni and I have no idea. When do you want to get married, how many kids do you want to have? I don't know. Am I wrong in letting God take control of my life, in taking each day as it comes? But then again, they say if you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail. Lord help me!!!

4. I need to curb the sarcasm. SERIOUSLY! It seems to be getting me into trouble. Ok maybe not trouble, but once again, this, coupled with number 2 isn't getting me what I want. People just don't get me. Agreed they may be slow cos they don't get what I'm talking about, but then even when I just meet people, I'm myself i.e overtly sarcastic and once again its beginning to border on ANNOYING or so I think.

Ok, so I think thats it.

Right, honestly, I'm doing this cos I've lost the best gist buddy I ever had and even though he refuses to admit it, I'm sure this is part of the reason why he ran away. Even though I never admit it, I do miss you.

Either way, friends or not, I've got family and I've got LIFE!!

Have a wonderful day and year,
Make the most of your year
Achieve greatness or at the very least,
Figure out the road to your great achievements,
Be the best that you can,
Most of all BE GOOD.

Much Love.
*Insert* New year hugs and sloppy kisses*

And here is another classic for you...