Nearly there.

The complexities of blogging.
Too many people know and it just stops the flow of that tap of thoughts.

So, I finished exams like a few weeks ago and I lazied about for a whole week. Bliss I tell you. Sleep is such a good thing. Now I'm home for the week till I go back to reality. Yes, project calls. I shall succeed...AMEN!!

Honestly, things happened and I just lost the flare for blogging, not that I dont have things to say, its just that it gets a bit too complicated and too many eyes!!

Oh I have something to say...yes, whats the new fashion of 19, 20 year olds getting married or having kids. Is it madness? as in they leave their education and become mothers. I'm not saying its a bad thing, I love kids, I live with kids so I know what its like to be a mother so to speak.

But is it just me or don't we all have it etched in our skulls that we have to finish all this education shibang and then settle down to marry or do whatever comes after? So why go half way through uni and whatnot, only to leave it for something else when we all know that especially in Nigeria, without your degree, you can't take a step forward without being set back 5 steps?

I'm confused, cos I have two friends who were like 3 years my junior at secondary school and they both have a child each, and another girl at uni dropped out after her first year to go and have a baby and I'm thinking wow? Has our thinking changed so much that we have become lax as women or as a society?

At least one of them is now married to the father of the child, so I'm guessing the point of the marriage was because she was already with child but still I can't but my head around it or am I being too hypocritical?

Anyway, so my music mood has shifted and lately these are the songs I've been listening to.
It started with him.....

Happy holidays people!

One down...One to go...

....And six months to go!!

I have become sooo lazy with school work lately, I dont even understand myself anymore. I had an exam on monday and I feel on top of the world, like I have nothing to do anymore, meanwhile I have one more essay due and another exam, then I have to start worrying about getting a chunk of disso done before uni resumes in January.

God help me o!

But, I'm still looking forward to sleep time sha...Everly!

Ok, this is a very random post as I am in no form or shape to compose myself and write anything sensible, so I'll just rant about the songs I heard recently.


So Dare-Not the Girl.
Vocals...Hmm.. *This is me with a scrunched up face like someone just did a really nasty fart*.
I don't know sha but the deepness is kinda sexy to be honest, but not for the song, especially as its a really slow and nostalgic song...
So, Hmmm again!

And Mr Kilz...
He doesnt make me go shoobe doo da eh eh eh...
Oh hell no he doesnt......
If he walks into a room, I wont say sho be doo bee do da ehh to myself
But I still like the song sha
"I'd like to make this hard Ibo by feel soft inside"
Deep Jo!!

Pardon me...its 4am and in the library fixing an essay.

Shet! I need a Life after Monday!!!!

2 Months Sabbatical Leave...

...Has made me a different person.

Easily prone to worry and anger. That's who you become when you have less than six months left to finish the last lap of the beginning of your life...(whew that was a mouth full).

So...been gone for 2 months and things certainly haven't changed around here.
One of the reasons I started blogging was to release the thoughts in my head that I probably or most likely never shared with people, also, partly because no one knew who I was and partly because I wasn't allowed to take that English degree that I craved so much, I thought I'd take my writing somewhere else...or so I thought.

Till I started to meet and talk to people on blogger. It took a while to open up as I knew my blogging would suffer the consequences. Anyway, I took the plunge and I met quite a range of people.

I met the really sweet and mushy till it went a bit awol...I shall keep that part of my experience to myself..thank you very much.

I met the nice and talkative ones...gisting became a disease we found no cure for...till they decided to disappear off the face of blogger and the earth and that ended abruptly.

I met the snobbish and overtly condescending. I didn't think people with such combination existed, well I am snobbish but I don't think I am condescending, but then again I'm talking rubbish because they both mean absolutely the same thing.

I met the exceedingly hyper and friendly ones who make you believe that there are indeed people out there with so much energy in them that you can feel it in their words. They make you look like a slug half the time.

I met those whom, though write beautifully, are the worst set of people to converse with. It doesn't take long to figure out why those ones blog,

Then I met the shy ones, whom just like me, are very self confident on either blogger or msn, but in person are the meekest of souls ever.

And obviously comes the nasty ones are just outright NASTY! (Enough said).

Then again, I've met just 5 or so people over blogger, one in person. You'd wonder if all these applied per person or multiple attributes to one person or I dont count some people with the negative attitudes as those I know.

Obviously before or after meeting these people I began to pay great attention to other relationships over blogger and I realised that we all come to this online world to be one person or the other, to have friends, to relieve ourselves of stress or to just poke our noses in other people's business. Either way, I found interactions between alot of people to be very fake and pretentious. People did it to get recognised, or they just became friends so they could try out their new found personality. I found these quite bothersome and a bit too much to take.

But then life wasnt any different in the real world, in fact, probably even worse, so much so that I lost a few friends along the line, gained one or two, but who am I to judge their viability? How do I assess these people if I'd failed earlier? I became a recluse with no life, I pitied myself and blamed myself for being such a woeful judge of character, for being so gullible.

I then came to the realization that you cant stop the search for that person or those people that make you happy and bring out the best in you. The Yoruba have a saying that one hand doesn't wash itself clean, you need both. One man cannot be an island, neither can he make a nation.

However, I am not on a hunt for a friend, I am on a quest to find myself.
Maybe, I just might prove the saying wrong and make that nation.

I am back!!

Freshers Week!!!

For all those that expressed sincere concern when I was violated, thank you very much. For those that laughed at me, well I know my true friends now. For those that I called or text (you know yourselves) and did not respond, well I have no comment for you.I am still bruised, scarred and traumatised!!! (LOL)

Back to the post!! Its just full of random stuff but anyway

....No I'm not a fresher. It's just freshers week at my uni...they moved in and now the campus if heaving with these people, children to say the least! Someone made mention that all the people that start uni this year were born in the 90's....gosh I feel so old!!! Don''t you?

Anyways on a different note.........after so much back and forthing (does that even exist?) I finally met mizchief. I randomly chose somewhere to meet...guess Camden Market. Seeing as in all my years in this country,I hadnt been there, I thought we might as well both be tourists and roam the streets of camden. The babe said that place is scary, why do you want to go there? (I didnt get the hint), I said, haba, its afternoon, we will be fine.

I got there!!! Ha....nah its inexplicable! Heres why!

90% of the crowd had likeness in one form or the other to that guy with his red hair.

I think she took some pictures of the place but mehn, I looked like a blonde public school (fee paying school) girl in a university like Thames Valley or Brunel. Anyways I was lost and to top it up Mizchief had been there before! *Hiss* So it kinda ruined the excitement and she turned out to be showing me around...(bad bad). But it was fun anyway, I only had like and hour or so to spare so it was a short meeting. But trust me, she is as crazy as she sounds in her blogs.

Oh and she bought a T-shirt..with a large figure 8 on it...enough said!!! Fits her too much...go figure!!! Haha.

I is out!!


Oh and needless to say that this is my favourite song of all time...ok maybe not all time but a fusion of these 2 artists will arouse the ....em yeah, you get what I mean. This was just too good.
Kinda the bases for some random decisions I took last week...haha!!! (Nope I'm not telling). But look at the video and tell me you disagree, then I shall assume you are either not normal or just lacking sensitivity...(lol no offence)


So I was jejely in my bed the other day, pretty much the whole day.

It was a sunday, nothing to do. I'd just seen Titanic for God knows how many times and I still cried, especially when the old couple were in their bed, hugging each other and ready for death!!! Ah, not only is that mad love but confidence and acceptance of the fact that they have lived their lives and are ready to go. Hmm, I'm not quite sure but I don't think I can be in that frame of mind for a while....I dare say its only the elderly that can have that frame of mind...any other person that tells me they are, is chatting shit as far as I'm concerned....I digress.

Yeah so I had managed to get a shower and make some curry at about 8pm when my friend called me and demanded that I come to her house. She'd been begging and she was on her way to pick another of my friends up so I had to get dressed and wait for her. Got into my track suit bottoms, t shirt and hoodie...(something befitting for the night I presumed).

We got there and they got down to their naija movies, of which I'm not a big fan most of what I did was criticize the whole thing and rant on and on about the steeeewwwpid movie!!!

As my boredom increased I asked my friend if she had some garri for babes. She did.....(now thats my kinda host) plus she had groundnuts too...and I was good to go.

I got to the kitchen, put my garri in the bowl, with sugar and groundnuts and then halt! No water. Have I mentioned that I don't drink tap water? No? Well, I dont, so if you dont have bottled water, dont offer me water or anything that I have to mix with water, i.e ribena and the lot.

She came into the kitchen and was like ohhh sorry, but you can use tap water now!! I looked at her and shook my head, thinking, I cant have this conversation with you again. Then she opened the fridge and found a small bottle of vittel and was like oh here's some water...use this and if it isnt enough, you can get some from the kettle and use some ice.

I did exactly as she told me.....the whole process seemed long but mehn I was bent on getting some garri that evening. I mixed it all up and as I walked into the living room, I took one spoon of the garri and it just didnt feel right

Yes!!!!!!!! My tongue was burrrrrrrning, unfortunately, some of it found its way down my throat and my throat literally fried at the feeling. I screamed and said to her, What the f*** was in that bottle???

You know what she said??? She walked towards me and was like oh my God, I am so so sorry.

It was VODKA!!!!!!!!!!

Man I was pisssedddd. She then said that her housemate had emptied the water in the bottle and filled it with vodka cos she was going clubbing and didnt want to buy any drinks at the club. All she wanted to do was buy coke at the bar and mix it with her own vodka....CHEAPSKATE OSHI!!!!

Ok maybe not....sorry to say that, she is a student like me and she has every right to do as she pleases. But damn I was so pissed off.

I just went back to the sofa sat down, and shut my mouth. They carried on with their naija movie and I wasnt even in the frame of mind to criticize anymore. Not only had she ruined my perfect evening with a bowl of garri...she had given me alcohol in the most unthinkable of waysss....


For those that think I'm ranting and over reacting.....I'm allowed to cos I dont drink and cos I'M ALLOWED TO....PERIOD!!!!

To worsen the situation she then asked me if I was a recovering alcoholic, cos I was pissed off so much. I just kept quiet ( as I always do when I'm pissed) and laid my head down to sleep. I could have picked up my hoodie and left but that would have been a bit too dramatic.

LOL at some point I thot I was drunk cos I was thinking all sorts in my head but I wasnt actually doing any of them, so I put it down to paranoia, but considering I had just downed a bottle of vodka into my garri, I guess I was allowed to think and vex.


My first taste of alcohol and it just had to be with my garri....

Nonsense and ingredient!!!!!

Obsession, madness, OCD???

So please, anyone care to explain any of these terms to be cos I'm beginning to think there is something wrong with me o.

Ok maybe not that there's something wrong...we all know ( actually let me rephrase that to I know) that I am a mega weirdo, so things I do dont phase me, but it kinda bothers other people. So basically I need an analysis of the following....dont judge me...just analyse.


I am very paranoid when it comes to food being stuck between my teeth. Not so much that the spinach has made my teeth green, but its the fact that I can feel it there thats the problem. I floss countless number of times in a day. I have my floss in every bag, so when I change bags, I don't worry about moving it about. I go crazy when I can't find it. My little ones once unrolled a pack that I had, and I absolutely went beserk. That wasnt funny mehn.

Keeping tidy:

I'm not a neat freak or anything but,

-My clothes have to be ironed. I love the look of ironed clothes in my wardrobe. I arrange them from the thinnest to widest, depending on how they've been folded, so I kinda get a pyramid shape.

-When arranging things, I have to see the 'front' where the name of the item is written. Even if its a bottle of bleach. The part that says 'Domestos thick bleach' is the part that faces me, not the back with the barcode....Oh hell no.

So if you take my stuff and return it, I still know when its been used. Especiallyif its been returned facing the wrong way!!! I kinda got this from my mother, who got it from her father. It runs in my family.....I know!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok here's the penned bit as most of you cant see it.
-It has to be black
-It's always black
-It has to have a lid. If it hasnt got a lid, then the pen is useless to me.
If the lid has been lost, the pen might as well be lost.
-If its a click pen, then it obviously doesnt need a lid.
-It has to be ball point or anything close to it, if it isnt, forget it!!
-Yes, I am a freak, one of those that write their names when trying out a pen. I can stand in WHSmith or Ryman for over half an hour trying a pen. It needs to feel right. Both on my fingers and on paper. **You know, how you have to try clothes on before you buy? Yeah thats what it is**
-Pilfering- Maybe not so much of pilfering, but obtaining. If you are unfortunate enough to have pens that perfectly fit the above description in either your pencil case, office or home or where ever, then be rest assurred that I will obtain it.
Hence, I do not borrow pens, neither do I lend mine out, if I do, then I will wait till you're done and then collect it.

The New!!

Yes I am back....New year, New month! New life!!!

To those who dropped their 2 on the last post, thanks. I didnt have a rethink, lets just say I chilled. All I needed to do was vent. I think I'm a bit too meek to do shit! So thanks everyone.

Im, not to blogger ( Technically I didnt go anywhere). To uni I mean

I'm a bit off point now but I'll be back with something more sensible....

I missed you tooooooooooooooooo much!!!


For all those who have wronged me,


Before the month of forgiveness approaches,

I will seek my revenge on ALL.

I will work my way from the bottom to the top.

Even to the minutest of things,

I will do the best I can to make them as miserable as I can.

No I will not be doing anyone any bodily harm

I have more than enough to shut down their emotional realm

To do enough psychological damage that can cause worse than any physical harm can

My silence is Golden

Yes, as cliche as it may sound, my silence is golden and it will bring me victory

My plans will work without any hitches.

My silence has been taken for stupidity,

Well unfortunately for them, I am not stupid.

No, this is no female chauvinism,

This is directed at both female and male

Who have brought myself and those within me grief.

My threshold of pain has been increased,

I have emboldened myself so that I can pull a poker face when they beg for forgiveness,

After that they will be left to feel the wrath of the most high.


Today has been a day that I'm still yet to figure out.

Or maybe it all started from yesterday when I got the hints...hints that today might be what it is or get the revelation.

Today has been the day I have been called all sorts. Different names, I fear which is really mine. Am I so different that people see me in totally different lights. Would that be a good thing or a bad thing.

I have been called all sorts, but I have never been called all sorts in one day by all sorts.

I am patient, I am quiet. I can't remember the day I shouted at anyone, maybe because I don't remember doing so. Maybe because I never say anything.

Today I was a snob (Big deal)

Today I was more or less a child (Too young to be conversed with like an adult) At 21 I beg to ask what age I am an adult? (I didn't take it to heart if you think I did, It just made me wonder, thats all or maybe I just misconstrued it all...I apologise)

Today I was called a moaner (Yes I was in a mood, so big fucking deal, deal with it. I didn't take it out on you, I just said I didn't have the time to kneel at your crusty feet and wash them with my hands.)

Today I was called useless (Because I forgot to .... now I dont even remember what I forgot to do)

Today I was called stupid (Without words, I know when I am called stupid. Because I don't complain, because I don't say anything, doesn't mean I'm stupid, Just means you're stupid cos I cant be bothered to waste my precious time exchanging words that I know will make absolutely no sense to you)

Today I was called all sorts. I don't want to bother remembering.

Hard times are here and I cannot give in to worry.
I have a life ahead of me.
I have a dissertation ahead of me.
I have a project ahead of me.
I have a life ahead of me. I know I said that already.
Just goes to show that, that's all that really matters.

I am not one to worry, whatever happens, does so for a reason. I may not be able to decipher what it is, but I know there is one.

With that, I am taking a mini hiatus, or maybe a a maxi one. I am yet to find out.
I maybe a silent reader, or a loud one (ie via comments), but never fear blogger is still one click away.
If I could cut all ties with the world without dying, trust me I'll do so. But I shall try with the ties available to me i.e blogger, Facebook, messenger, and my phone (I don't get many calls, so its not a worry for me).

I love you all.
Never doubt that.
You most especially, you know who you are.
If you've ever thought otherwise, then you are highly mistaken.
A pity I cant change that right now.

Dear Mother II

A long time has indeed elapsed since my last letter,

In that time, a lot has ensued as well.

I hope you received my last letter.

I know it was signed with the unfamiliar pseudonym that I have recently adopted

And not that one oriki that you fondly called me.

The same one you were fondly called by your mother, of which she was called by hers too.

I decided to use that so as the keep the oriki between us,

Away from the prying eyes of these people (Yes YOU).

Yes, it is that time of the month, and it reminds me of the first time.

That morning, yes that morning.

Now I laugh, but then I didn't. It certainly wasn't funny.

It was supposed to be like any other morning, I was getting ready for school.

You heard me scream.

You thought I'd just seen my grandmother's ghost.

You were right! Well partially.

I had seen a ghost, though not mami's.

It was a red one. The red one.

The famous Miss P (or according to Buttercup, Aunty Flo)

She had come unexpectedly to jolt me to womanhood,

She was to stay and haunt my life for the next 30 years.

I was forlorn, because I knew she was early. Too early.

She must have caught the fast train. I was only in JSS 2.

My siblings had been much older,

But then again, I guess she'd used the choo choo train in their time.

Then it was time for the talk. I wasn't ready for it.

But fortunately for me, I didn't get the falsified version.

I wasn't told I'd be heavy with child if I held hands with a boy.

Though you didn't fail to emphasize that you'd make my life miserable if you did find me holding hands.

Though once again you said you would take care of the child and send me back to school.

After the talk, I got the chicken.

Yes the chicken. Like every young 'budding' Yoruba girl.

I got one killed specially for me. It was my day.

At the end of that day, I knew or rather I emphasized the fact that,

The weirdo I had become was from being the daughter of a weirdo.

I called you mega mother weird.

The weirdest this planet has ever seen.

Doesn't stop me from loving you

For not only does this hereditary weirdness make me unique,

The 'talk' made me a better person and I appreciated my sudden 'womanhood'.

I am happy with the woman that I have become as a result.

For that, I say thank you.

My daughter must surely get this talk,

Though not verbatim,

It will certainly be in the most mega mother weird way that I can give it.

NOTE: Those who have read, I have come to a conclusion that such utterences are not befitting for a post that is solely directed at my mother. So if you read the comments and wonder what the first few people have can keep wondering.

For lack of....

Anything Tangible to say, and to feed my boredom.

A. Attached or Single?

B. Best Friends?
Me, me, me...

C. Cake or Pie?
Cakes all the way.

D. Day of Choice?
Anyday, as long as I can sleep for some of it.

E. Essential Item?
Floss...I get withdrawal symptoms when I dont have it.

F. Favorite Color?

G. Greatest accomplishment?
In Progress

H. Hometown?
Lagos Island Baby

I. Indulgences?
Ben and Jerrys, Madeira, Haagen Daaz.

J. January or July?
Neither has my birthday in it, so what's my business?

K. Kids?
3, 4, 5, .....

L. Life is incomplete without?
God (Something to believe in), Anything to read, my crazy/lovely family, me.

M. Marriage date?

N. Number of siblings?

O. Oranges or apples?

P. Phobias or fears?
Both! Flying and the dark. I start to see things that are not there.

Q. Quotes?
Let sleeping dogs lie.
I take this literally, cos my sleep is important to me. *I do bite*

R. Reason to smile?
I smile all the time...some people can testify to that.

S. Season?
*Hiss* We don't have any sensible ones in Jand.

T. Tag three friends?

U. Unknown fact about me?
It is'nt unknown anymore when I say it.
I can send it to your inbox if you really want to know!

V. Very favorite store?

W. Worst habit?
I forget too easily.

X. X-ray or ultrasound?

Y. Your favorite food?
Make me some amala, with ogbono, and I am yours forever!

Z. Zodiac?

I know better!

This is in response to Tininu's 'Let's call a spade a spade'. Or rather should I say a follow up, with my own 2 cents on the issue. I think GoodNaijaGirl too, has said something in relation to this. Though mine may take a different turn.

This did bring a wave of nostalgia, and though I may seem to rant and rave, I will give anything to re-live my childhood.

I lived as a family of two, i.e my mother and myself even though I have siblings. My siblings were much older and were out of the country. So imagine a middle aged mother in her hitting her 40's having to take care of a child. I guess her mates had stopped worrying about who was going to help their daughter take her lunch to school because she had left it at home or worry about going to the bookshop with list of books for a primary school girl. I think those ones were worrying about the next lace they would wear to that 'owanbe' party, than the baggage that came with having a little child because they either didn't have kids or, the youngest of their kids was already wearing make up and getting ready to write their WAEC.

With this you can imagine how my mother's attention was focused on me. So much so that if I wanted to breathe, I needed to ask of the air was clean enough for me. I never made any decisions by myself. Not because I was being spoilt. Oh hell no, in fact my case was far from it. I've tasted beating of all sorts. Be it from the ruler, to the normal cane, to 'koboko'. Yes I have been down that route. Although I must say that after I reached a certain age, all those beatings stopped, and it was more of slaps. You know those dizziness inducing ones that left the palm imprint on your cheeks for the next hour or two. Yes, my mother had hands of iron, and I don't mean figuratively. If you think I was a stubborn kid, I was in fact far from it. Lets just say I did stupid things that my mother felt could only be managed with thorough lashing.

As I said, I never made decisions for myself. To be honest, I didn't even think there were such things as discretion on my part, as the child. I lived a life where majority of the conversations I could hold with my mother (about me) revolved around things she wanted to hear. School, Arabic school and more school, however as her only companion, she told me everything there was to hear about her day(s), provided they were appropriate for my age to hear.

I couldn't say 'oh I want to go to my friend's house', cos I believed that you didn't go to school to keep friends (not that it was ever uttered as so, but that was the vibe I got). Hence I didn't have friends in the area, though partly because I think I became a snobbish child and I hated the area.

I believed this was also the case with my siblings, well at least two of them, and they only broke free because they now lived away from home, out of the country. But they suffered the 'you have defied me' speech every single time they called home.
I only got to notice this when I actually lived with both one of my siblings and my mother at the same time in the same house. My mother was giving orders on what to do and what not to do, especially in regards to relationships. The guy my sister was seeing/ dating (whatever) came down to jand from yankee and my sister went to see him and spent the night there. Through out the night, my mother was fuming, although I didn't know why, I got to find out the next day when my sister returned and my mother gave her the 'talk' as to why it was indecent for a lady to spend the night with a man.
On the one hand, I think she was only doing her job as a mother, but on the other hand, I think it was a bit late for her to be having that conversation with a woman who was soon to be hitting her thirties.
You could bet that my sister was furious.

She did the same with another sibling, as she complained that it was senseless of them (my sister and her husband) to spend all that money buying a Chrysler jeep, when they could have split the money and bought two smaller cars, where my sister could own hers and the other for her hubby (who takes the train to work in the city). Once again, the sis did'nt find it funny and when she aired her views in her usual soft spoken manner , my mother flared, packed her things and left their house, under the premise that the sis doesn't listen to her anymore, and that all her husband says is the gold she cherishes, rather than my mother's words.
I daresay she failed to realise that her daughter is now a married woman, with her own family to take care of and worry about.

Now that I live away from home i.e at uni and with my sister at the holidays, I have only just begun to assume a role of responsibility, although I still find myself speaking about my intentions with the sis, rather than carrying on with it on my own.
I find that I don't do it because I need advise, but I do it because I need /want/have to be told what to do.

I'm still yet to find out if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

Also, the sis plays the 'you are an adult' card, 'you have the discretion to do as you please', but she never fails however to state how she feels this should be done or the appropriate manner that this should be said or done.

At least, one thing we tend to agree with, without spoken words, is that we don't need to attend this family gathering or visit that family member. I think unlike a lot of us, I am very lucky in that area.

Although, subconsciously, she has adopted that same behaviour as our mother, though she uses it in the subtle way that blends with her character. So sometimes I don't complain because it is not as though I am being ordered. I too subtly treat is as an input, of which I have the discretion to accept or not.

The one time I decided to stand up for myself by refusing to move to the states with the eldest, the family went (and still is) in turmoil because I chose to stay with one sibling over the other. The eldest claiming that by right, as the oldest, she had to be my guardian. I ask why? All the siblings I have are in good position to be my guardian, so why play the age card?.

Fast forward to now. Am I complaining about the way things were? I would like to delude myself and say no. But maybe I am not or once again, I am. I would like to leave that in the grey area
Should I say that they way I was brought up, has had an effect on who I am today. Maybe yes! I meet a few people at uni who tell me I am very mature. I ask, what do you mean by mature? I have either never spoken to you, or if I have it has not been more than 'hi-hello', so how then can you tell? Usually, they cant explain it, or as one of them said, 'when I saw you, I thought you were a postgraduate student'. I didn't know whether I was to take that as a compliment or not.
I find these comments hard to believe, especially as I know I am a person who has grown up to being told what and what not to do.
On the other hand, maybe I did grow up early, maybe I did assume a role of responsibility quite early.

From this, I have noticed that, even though a lot of people preach that they do not accept the things that their parents do and the way do it, they subconsciously adopt this style of bringing up their children, thus, it becomes a cycle.
It is for us, this generation to understand that, children are of different personalities, and you cannot attack the singular in the same manner that you deal with the bunch .

You cannot use the same method with every child. It causes problems.

We should learn to understand our children.

I am not saying the slow child should be given a tamed hand, and the stubborn child a hard hand, or vice versa. I just think every approach should be tailored to the kind of child you have, though taking care for it not to be misconstrued as being partial. It is not easy, but it has to be done.

I can/cannot say this has indeed moulded the person that I am today, maybe it did do me some good, or maybe with my personality, I have not allowed it to do me any harm. I am not saying it was wrong or right, but it could have benefited from some kinds of adjustments.

Note: Once again, I think my points have been misconstrued as something else. I am not arguing that the parents/older ones 'have not been there before'. Obviously they have.
My point is, even though 'they have been there before', doesn't mean they have to force their opinions. That is called ordering people. Which is what a lot of people do not appreciate. If your child is at the age where he/she can make certain decisions, then let him, obviously, his actions will only be put forward with the guidance that the adult/parent provides.

If I ruled the world= No more tagging!


The person that started this tagging nonsense must have been bored and lacked ideas for his or her new post!!

Forget the rules cos I cant be bothered to tag anyone.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Cant get enough- Mary J. Blige
I told Charizard this thing is evil. I had no idea what the question meant till I got this song as my answer.

No way! I don't telll guys to come and check on anything

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL ? Dilemma- Nelly and Kelly
someone interprete please?

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Against all odds- Phil Collins...Yeah mehn! That is my state of mind right now....I shall breakthrough!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Make it rain- Fat Joe and the other dudes - Hell to the yeah! Make it rain some dough!!!! LOL, maybe this thing isnt so evil afterall

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? In case you don't know- Timaya...Damn right, I am the mother of them all...they better be thinking that

No comment o... did know there was somn fishy about them...I didnt know they were this kinky

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Control myself- LL Cool J n J.lo...see this dirty minded thing o! Yeah I do think about controlling myself...but not in that way...more like learning to curb my sarcasm....No one dare to state otherwise...i forbid you...yeah u tininu!

WHAT IS 2+2? heartburn...alicia keys...go figure!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Bed-J holiday! must be possessed. I don't have a best friend and even if I do, I think its a how about a big fat NO!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? shakomo- Remedies...Yep I'm done fronting...I'm all yours my sweets

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Good life- Kanye...ahhn ahn too mad jo! 'welcome to the good life'...hop in lemme show u around

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Fuji- Dare art alade.... because why?

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? I want it that way- backstreet boys...yeah I want it this way.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Harder to breathe- maroon 5....some kind of weirdo that can live without breathing

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING ?Macarena... Yeah should be fun

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?Do without my love-Nathan... guys are gonna be distraught without my love

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Hotel California- Eagles...If you know he deep meaning of the song, then you feel me...but I dont get as bad as the characters in the song o...

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Mo sorire- Paul play....I guess that cant be a secret for too long

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Its not right, but its ok- whitney houston....True say...I condone some of them for some reason beyond me...I think I'm just too nice

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? If I ruled the world- Nas n Lauren hill..ermm ok

FYI...I didnt edit it!

Ok maybe for one or t

Indecent Exposures II


So I was having a shower the other day and my 8 year old nephew strolled into the bathroom. Boy, was I furious, but I didnt really scold him for some reason cos his mother has a shower with the door WIDE open, so I thought, no biggie.

But I was still pissed cos I felt that I had just exposed myself to a little boy. Selfishly of me, I was only worried about myself and not what was going on in the poor boy's head.

This got me thinking about what went through my head when I was almost eight. I think I already knew seeing naked people was a bit of errr......a not so cool thing at that age and this took me back to another incident that occurred after the other indecent exposure. I think it was about a year after or there abouts. I lived in a house that had 4 flats in it and we lived in the bottom flat whilst another family lived in the other bottom flat. The family was quite small. An old man, say probably about 50/6o with his young wife who had a kid, not the old man's though.

I was hardly ever outside of our flat, but that afternoon, I think I was probably seated by the back door which went through the kitchen, engrossed in one of my dictionaries or a newspaper that I'd been forced to read and had to re-tell whatever it is I'd read in it to my mother. The kitchen door to the other flat was right next to ours too. The old man came in from wherever he'd been out to, I greeted him and he went into his flat. A few minutes later, he came up to me and said he wanted to send me some where.

Here I should tell you the story behind living in my mother's house. Basically, I only stepped out of my house when I had to go to school or follow an adult somewhere. Plus, my street in Surulere, at that time, didn't have any abokis that sold things in front of the houses that were there. So my street was bare. If you needed anything, it had to be bought from the supermarket that was on the next street or from another aboki that turned out to be on that street too, but across the road. Thinking about it now, it was as though all those abokis had planned not to deface the street with their little kiosks.

Unfortunately for him, I don't think he knew that going to either of those two places required that I either went with an adult or I had to cross the road (of which I could only do with an adult anyway).

So I said to him that I couldnt go. He asked me why and I said (erm duhh) I cannot go out on my own or cross the road, but I can get Kemi ( the help) to go for you. He said fine. I called on Kemi and told her that the old man wanted her to get something for him. She didnt find it funny, but I didnt ask why.

She got back, called him from the window of his living room to collect his robb and he told her to bring it in, that the door was open. She opened the kitchen door, placed the robb on the worktop and called out to him that she'd left it there, and that she needed to do something for my mum quickly. I wondered what rubbish she was talking, because my mother wasn't even home. Again, I let it slide.

A few minutes afterwards, he called my name and asked me to please come in and help him with something that he muttered under his breath. I went in through the kitchen, down to the living room. I said to him that I was there, then he told me to come into the bedroom. I opened the door, and what did I see. An ape looking figure lying on the bed. It was the old man. Ask me why he was ape looking?

Cos he was naked and HAIRY. Shet, I don't know if it was the nakedness that scared the shit out of me or the fact that the hair made him look so much like a monkey. I was lost for words as I ran out the way I'd come in from. I went into my house and locked the door. When I mean locked, I mean naija style lock, where theres the key lock, then the padlocks and then the bolts on the door too. I bumped into Kemi as I was running to my room, but didn't say a word to her.

When my mom got home, I remember she got into a shouting match with the old man, and I was scared because even though I didnt mention the whole thing to anyone, I thought my mother knew. But then it turned out that he was the reason we had to change helps every so often and Kemi had been the only one that had the courage to tell my mother he had tried to get with her. All these I learnt years after, when we had moved out of the flat.

Then, I thought O.M.G
Now I'm thinking, but W.T.F

Till this day, I never said a word to anyone and it makes me wonder that if this happened to a lot of children out there, parents would never know the things that happen to their child. Or, was it just me that turned out to be a mute child and not tell anyone?

Either way, I fear o!

Dear Mother,

My Dearest,

Gone are the days when we would lie in on a Saturday morning
Watching the Cadbury's breakfast show,
We would catch up on the week gone past,
The troubles I'd been through at school,
The trials you'd been through with securing that contract,
I didn't think I'd miss those days.

Gone are the days when you would dig out your whip,
Beat the advice into me,
That was the only way you knew how,
That was the way you had been 'advised'
That, has inevitably shaped my person today.

Gone are the days when we would cook the last bag of meat,
And pray to God that the pot wouldn't be empty before it got refilled.
It was just you and I.
The older ones were out of the country, fending for themselves.
You wouldn't let me leave with them.
I was your companion.
The only companion.

Gone are the days when we would not talk
Either because I had been naughty or...well usually it was only because of that.
You warned me, that come the time, I would be alone.
The time is now and I wish I heeded those words,
I heard them but I didn't listen.
I was probably too young to realise.

Gone are the days I would wish I didn't have to go home from school
I found my haven at school, My solace.
I would stall leaving school for home everyday,
Just so I didn't have to do those dishes or fill up the house with water.
But now I still do them, but I do them with pride because I know you taught me well.

Gone are the days when we would plan my future, our future.
The future is here now, but not the way we planned it.
It has been good, but it could be better.
Still, I am proud.
And though the days are gone,
I have the pleasure of re-living them,
One day at a time,
And I've started, by wearing those waist beads.

Yours lovingly.
A. O. S. D.

Inspired by many bloggers.
More letters to come!

Randomly....I just had to share this!

Nothing to do.

Youtube tends to do the trick.

I bumped into this video.

At first I thought but WTF....but I'll let you decide.

This one's my all time favourite.
As in Naija commercials are too mad jo!
But why do they have that 'I'm watching channel o' feel... All dark and grey!

And this one...fogerrrit!

Here mother was sitting right there and she stroked the hell out of the woman!!

He tagged me!

Ok, this is not cool, cos everyone I know has been frigging TAGGED!

But I have to do this!
Let's go!
Firstly the rules
i. link the person(s) who tagged you...
ii. mention the rules in your blog
iii. tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...
iv. tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
v. leave comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

Tin Tin...Well done o!!!

i. I blog- No one knows I blog and I intend to keep it that way. Obviously there are alot of things on here that can give me away, but I try to avoid it. As in, its so bad that I can't even bookmark blogger on my laptop for fear of someone getting in, but then I have my google email on the google tab and my password is saved so really there is no sense in that, is it?

ii. I day dream/ fantasize...whatever-you-ma-call-it before i sleep. Actually its what helps me to fall asleep. I think about so many how I want 'him' to propose or just hold me in is arms... (whoever he is).

iii. I'm annoying...because i'm either too sarcastic or just too picky especially in regards to naija movies. I see everything wrong in what they do or say and it pisses my friend off.

iv. I'm an ice cream addict. From Ben and Jerry's to Tesco value, as long as it says ice cream, i'm down...if you give me haagen daaz, I'll sing your praises till the tub finishes, then I go back to my annoying sarcastic self.

v. I hate Mills and Boons! In as much as I LOVE to read, I cannot stand the fake romance in those in shoot me, is the kind of attitude I have when those books are around me.

vi. I'm a sucker for football, and to top it up, I support the BEST team in Britain and beat me!!!

Now to find people....I'm just gonna be random and choose anybody, and if you've been tagged before, Tough luck.......Ha.So wait, if i tag charizard, does that mean i've tagged buttercup too? I should believe

To charizzyyy and butter , tininu (for tagging me in the first place), mamalicious (cos ur the jjc in town), supersexy, cos i havent read your blog...or have I?....LOL to allyurz...cos you're all mine... ..

So thats it...a bit wishy washy but hey...I'm tired...just moved back to London for the summer and trust me, packing aint fun!

Gone too Long!!!

Yeah the words of 'blak jesus', I'm back morrasuckers! LOL...I feel that to be a little too much for you guys, cos you've been too lovely!

Anyways, how has everyone been? Everyone writing papers or finishing off that dissertation? I wish you all good luck o....its not easy, but we go survive!

so I'v had a gruelling time this past few weeks, revising, trying to sort out my life (including the whole Mr T. wahala and some other family issues. speaking of which, the 'atorise' song is dedicated to all the mothers out there, it's in yoruba and for those who understand, you'll agree that it's an awesome tune!

Updating on Mr T., baseline, he didnt break up with her, infact, I dont think they even had any problems (or so I think sha), and to say that God saved me is an understatement cos the way I found out was a shocker!!
After the restaurant scene, I stopped taking his calls and replying his messages but he was consistent, as in it was a bit freaky cos he'd be parked outside my house in the morning waiting to take me to uni and obviously i'd just walk past...(as a girl i need to front a bit) or come to the library and sit near me pretending to revise, he wouldnt say anything, he'd just sit there with his books, solving equations and hissing if it didnt go right. As in, people at the library would have thought we didnt even know each other, cos we never said a word to each other, but then the'd go to the shop to buy food, crisps and the lot and offer me, but i declined them and I didnt want to pack up so as not to make a scene at the library and (secretly i kinda liked the silent company).

After a little bit, it kida got a bit boring and I had to tell him to stop the stalking and he said he'd carry on till whenever I agreed. I took pity on him and I started talking to him more often, replying a few sms's and I got to know that he was going to Nigeria in the summer, hence the reason he was being persistent, so he'd make sure I wasn't available for any other guy whilst he was gone.
Cheeky and a tad bit selfish aint it?
so one day, i thought i'd take a break from my library runz and treat myself to some good female, a nice hair do and some manicure. I got to the shop, trying on some clothes, I saw some of his girl friend's riff raff friends outside the changing room waiting for someone who was trying something on, it turned out to be her. I mean I was a bit pissed to see then there cos I was in Karen Millen and you only want to be in that kind of store with a certain calibre of people and she and her gang sure aint part of that set. I got into a changing booth and overheard their was along the lines of 'I need to make this night special cos my man is leaving soon' bla bla bla...and I was like this dude wants to use me to catch trips.

Ok me sef I'm down to catch some trips too! Mother of all trips.

so I got home and gave him a call...he was surprised and I was like, seeing as you are going soon that we should do somn guy was happy! I said oh, but I'm in London, pls can you come and pick me up (My uni town is an hours drive from London) and the truth of the matter is I wasnt in London, infact was in my room in uni town but as per trips level na... Dude got to London and called me, where are you?
Me: u took too long jo, so I got the train, and it just left o! But seeing as you are in London pls can you buy me peppersoup from D'Den? I ignored all his rants and shouting...he is the one with the I dont pick up my phone when I'm driving policy'....

He got to my house sha...ready to spark and then he saw one of my toasters sitting comfortably o the sofa...what did i hear after he got in? so who is that?
I flipped, jo jo jo! you are not the boss of me, you hear me? Then we started fighting like we were a couple and I just thought, why am I doing this?

I gave it to him straight..look, I'm not going to let you play me around out of my house!

so thats the drama over and done with...its much longer than that but i had to edit it cos my keyboard is doing my head it with its wireless nonsense!

I'm out.

I'm on my knees

Begging you, my lovely readers. Yours truly is on a break to get that first class.
That's how I can stay alive to keep posting....

Juicy juicy....coming your way.

I love y'all.

Ps...I could taste the venom from some comments on ''Thou hast caused and done temptation'', I fear small o! Chei.

I'll be back!!

Tininu, this is specially for you, cos I can vividly see the frustration from your comments...



So, I'm home for the Easter holidays and I am bored shitless, suffice to say that the kids in my house are just too lovely for me to complain about them doing my head in. So I guess I shouldn't even venture in that direction.

Seeing as I'm being random today, I will just do my ranting and go "stark raving mad"

Firstly, why is it that the good guys are gone? Gone to the most annoying set of babes that do not appreciate what they have on their in, its pissing me off bad bad. I'm on a hating spree right now. I want to slap them left, right and centre and maybe in the process, reality will find its way back to their mucus filled brains. So, in light of that, I am out for another girl's man...that gist is coming (if I'm not knocked out with morphine, as a result of the beating that has been afflicted upon me by the girlfriend's HOOLIGAN friends). its COMING SOON TO A BLOGGER NEAR YOU....WATCH OUT!!!!! (That just sounds like something out of a naija movie trailer, I should take Segun Arinze's job).

Following that, whats with the FREAKING weather? Its bloody snowing in march. The British asked for a white Christmas, not a white Easter! Imagine snow and rain...a pathetic sight to behold, trust me, you don't want to get caught in one of those, waiting for the FLIPPING bus, that's over 20mins late!!!!

I'm sure you can tell that I am stressed. BIG TIME. Unifasiti is kicking my arse! I have essays due in and one of them is longer than half of a final year's dissertation and I AM NOT A BLOODY FINAL YEAR!!! Why??? Do they want to kill me? My family don't pay tuition so I can drop dead in the middle of a marketing essay. Plus I have 5 exams in the next 4 weeks and I haven't read jack shit!!!! Life is not fair I swear.

But on a lighter note, shall I just say, the reds are top!! For those who follow the Premier league, it's not hard to figure out. For those who don't, let's just say Manchester United is hot like FIRE!!!

On that note, I'm out.

I hope everyone is having a much better week?