Beware.

For all those who have wronged me,

Beware.

Before the month of forgiveness approaches,

I will seek my revenge on ALL.

I will work my way from the bottom to the top.

Even to the minutest of things,

I will do the best I can to make them as miserable as I can.

No I will not be doing anyone any bodily harm

I have more than enough to shut down their emotional realm

To do enough psychological damage that can cause worse than any physical harm can

My silence is Golden

Yes, as cliche as it may sound, my silence is golden and it will bring me victory

My plans will work without any hitches.

My silence has been taken for stupidity,

Well unfortunately for them, I am not stupid.

No, this is no female chauvinism,

This is directed at both female and male

Who have brought myself and those within me grief.

My threshold of pain has been increased,

I have emboldened myself so that I can pull a poker face when they beg for forgiveness,

After that they will be left to feel the wrath of the most high.

Today.

Today has been a day that I'm still yet to figure out.

Or maybe it all started from yesterday when I got the hints...hints that today might be what it is or get the revelation.

Today has been the day I have been called all sorts. Different names, I fear which is really mine. Am I so different that people see me in totally different lights. Would that be a good thing or a bad thing.

I have been called all sorts, but I have never been called all sorts in one day by all sorts.

I am patient, I am quiet. I can't remember the day I shouted at anyone, maybe because I don't remember doing so. Maybe because I never say anything.

Today I was a snob (Big deal)

Today I was more or less a child (Too young to be conversed with like an adult) At 21 I beg to ask what age I am an adult? (I didn't take it to heart if you think I did, It just made me wonder, thats all or maybe I just misconstrued it all...I apologise)

Today I was called a moaner (Yes I was in a mood, so big fucking deal, deal with it. I didn't take it out on you, I just said I didn't have the time to kneel at your crusty feet and wash them with my hands.)

Today I was called useless (Because I forgot to .... now I dont even remember what I forgot to do)

Today I was called stupid (Without words, I know when I am called stupid. Because I don't complain, because I don't say anything, doesn't mean I'm stupid, Just means you're stupid cos I cant be bothered to waste my precious time exchanging words that I know will make absolutely no sense to you)

Today I was called all sorts. I don't want to bother remembering.

Hard times are here and I cannot give in to worry.
I have a life ahead of me.
I have a dissertation ahead of me.
I have a project ahead of me.
I have a life ahead of me. I know I said that already.
Just goes to show that, that's all that really matters.

I am not one to worry, whatever happens, does so for a reason. I may not be able to decipher what it is, but I know there is one.

With that, I am taking a mini hiatus, or maybe a a maxi one. I am yet to find out.
I maybe a silent reader, or a loud one (ie via comments), but never fear blogger is still one click away.
If I could cut all ties with the world without dying, trust me I'll do so. But I shall try with the ties available to me i.e blogger, Facebook, messenger, and my phone (I don't get many calls, so its not a worry for me).

I love you all.
Never doubt that.
You most especially, you know who you are.
If you've ever thought otherwise, then you are highly mistaken.
A pity I cant change that right now.

Dear Mother II

A long time has indeed elapsed since my last letter,

In that time, a lot has ensued as well.

I hope you received my last letter.

I know it was signed with the unfamiliar pseudonym that I have recently adopted

And not that one oriki that you fondly called me.

The same one you were fondly called by your mother, of which she was called by hers too.

I decided to use that so as the keep the oriki between us,

Away from the prying eyes of these people (Yes YOU).

Yes, it is that time of the month, and it reminds me of the first time.

That morning, yes that morning.

Now I laugh, but then I didn't. It certainly wasn't funny.

It was supposed to be like any other morning, I was getting ready for school.

You heard me scream.

You thought I'd just seen my grandmother's ghost.

You were right! Well partially.

I had seen a ghost, though not mami's.

It was a red one. The red one.

The famous Miss P (or according to Buttercup, Aunty Flo)

She had come unexpectedly to jolt me to womanhood,

She was to stay and haunt my life for the next 30 years.

I was forlorn, because I knew she was early. Too early.

She must have caught the fast train. I was only in JSS 2.

My siblings had been much older,

But then again, I guess she'd used the choo choo train in their time.

Then it was time for the talk. I wasn't ready for it.

But fortunately for me, I didn't get the falsified version.

I wasn't told I'd be heavy with child if I held hands with a boy.

Though you didn't fail to emphasize that you'd make my life miserable if you did find me holding hands.

Though once again you said you would take care of the child and send me back to school.

After the talk, I got the chicken.

Yes the chicken. Like every young 'budding' Yoruba girl.

I got one killed specially for me. It was my day.

At the end of that day, I knew or rather I emphasized the fact that,

The weirdo I had become was from being the daughter of a weirdo.

I called you mega mother weird.

The weirdest this planet has ever seen.

Doesn't stop me from loving you

For not only does this hereditary weirdness make me unique,

The 'talk' made me a better person and I appreciated my sudden 'womanhood'.

I am happy with the woman that I have become as a result.

For that, I say thank you.

My daughter must surely get this talk,

Though not verbatim,

It will certainly be in the most mega mother weird way that I can give it.




NOTE: Those who have read, I have come to a conclusion that such utterences are not befitting for a post that is solely directed at my mother. So if you read the comments and wonder what the first few people have said....you can keep wondering.