Oh my Lord!!!

Not a cry for help, more like an exclamation.

So as I said, I went to this grad party. More like I tagged along, meaning I asked for what my eyes saw that night. *Note to self*- No gate crashing of random grad/birthday/whatever you may call it party with anybody. Lessons learnt.

Ok it wasnt bad all.

Basically, the graduand is African, Sierra Leonan or Congolose, not too sure and she went to the same secondary school as the person I tagged along with. We got there at about 9ish and the party was still bubbling with family friends, kids everywhere. Food was in abundance, not that I could have much of it though cos there was rice that tried hard to look like jollof rice but didnt quite make it and their other ethnic food. There was no way I was eating anything apart from fish and chicken. I'm bad with experimenting food... sometimes I guess its good for me as a very angry stomach is not something I can deal with.

So anyways I didn't know anyone there apart from the person I tagged along with, who was busy chatting away, so I was left alone, with nothing to do but observe...which I gladly did.

What did I see?

A lady between size 18 and 20 dressed in a red halter neck top, white shorts, red heels. She had very dark skin which was equally pancaked with very dark powder. She had silver or grey eye-shadow on and rather long fake lashes. She had very glossy lips, I couldnt tell if it was the oil from the food she'd just eaten or she had some serious gloss on that even eating wouldnt clean off. But what was peculiar about her? Ok lets start this way, I have nothing against plus size women, as a size 14 myself ( I like to claim 12 sometimes), I know what its like being pushed to the plus end of the scale, however, seeing as I'm a bit conscious of how I look, I think I pay more attention to what suits me, which I think this young (not more that 23 year old) lady didnt do. Her stomach was hanging over her shorts, needless to say she had bronze hair glued to her face as an excuse for a fringe and stetch marks that were in different shades of brown. The weirdest part was that she is really hairy all the way to her back and its either she had bronze/brown hair or the lighting at the party made it seem so. But dear Lord, it was freaky and I thought to myself, now I dont blame those who go for full body waxing nor the guys who frown at it cos believe me its not a very nice sight...at all!!! I was cringing and I begged for forgiveness everytime I had to cringe.

To make matters worse for me, she was with this another lady, a few years older who was probably another 2 sizes bigger than she was. She had a short black dress on and fish net tights or whatever those tights with holes in them are called. What she did wrong? she sat with her legs wide open, with all her not-to-be-publicly-seen assets in full view. I felt VIOLATED! Ewwwwwwwwwwwww sheesh. I think I'll stop there on that one!

The less traumatising ones are the men. Oh those ones were funny. From the ones in funny coloured suits, ranging from gold (once again) to red. The funniest one, was this old man on bronze coloured trousers, a blue shirt and an even funnier tie. His tie had sonic the hedgehog on it, along with the rest of the characters...knuckles and tails. (Yes I know them. I live with kids) and then it was tied half way, plus he was walking so daintly possibly for fear of not creasing his outfit! That made me burst into fits of laughter and I thought wow...people still do these?

I think the best part of my evening was the people watching...I'd love to do that again..well apart from seeing -not-to-be-publicly-seen parts of the body...I think I'll pass on that!!

26 Cogitations:

Sir Scribbles II said...

Numero Uno baby!!!!!!!

Sir Scribbles II said...

MEhn it's at time like dis I wish I had a crappy imagination cos 4rm wat u've described u saw a yeti/sasquatch/chewbacca 4rm star wars/Hagrid. Me I don't like wen pple no dye behave themselves fashion wise oh! no be by force

Tigeress said...

Sir Scribbles, kilode? I shld have been first.

NaijaBabe said...

LOL Scribbles...SORRY!!! About that!!

Anonymous said...

musta been congolese with that combo of outfit on the men - lololol!

Tigeress said...

Those folks need to be sued i reckon! They cant be going around hurting people's eyes like that.

Quaggar said...

scribbles, do u.. like.. live on the web? lol.

Some pples just got no dress sense. Thank God they didnt blind u joo.

Black Man Comes said...

There you go having a fun weekend all by yourself...
But, hmm... the dressing you described... interesting.

Dame Halos said...

lol..those are the kind of parties i like to go to...u can't be bore mehn...so much to look at..criticise and laff over wen u get home..hehe..God forgive me....sounds like u had fun...i dnt get y pple try to force themselves into smaller sized clothes...do they not realise that it only makes them look fatter cos it emphasizes the fact that they are defo bigger than the perception they r trying to give..hehe...this is y it is good to be a size 6..lol...
i have a grad party which i am tagging along to this weekend as well....i hope its as entertaining as urs :-)

Moni..x

Oracle said...

What kinda party did you say it was? The picture from your description was bloody horrible. I guess they all came for a party and they sure had a wonderful night.

chayoma said...

lol!
my imagination has just been violated

Nice Anon said...

Looking sexy isn't only for the fit folks . Plus size women need love too.LOL

what a sarcastic comment I just made. I don tok am .. some people don't have any sense of decency. Na real wa!

downtheaisle said...

from the description of the men, their own worse pass o!!! I am still trying to figure out what a bronze colored trouser wld look, and then on a man...I throw way salute to the man's fashion sense

Naija bad boi.... said...

wow....i can imagine how funny it must av been meeeehn...hope u diodnt laff out loud sha...cos my sis does dat atimes and its not funny trying to give a reason for her....lol...next time u wanna gate crash, do some background check up....lol

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Those people need to be tried at the fashion court and dealt with accordingly!

Those are serious eye violations!

NaijaBabe said...

Kmplx-Hmmm I tried very hard not to come to that assumption

Tigeress-Haha, sued you know! Its true...its a violation (of something act)

Quaggar- I think he does, has a little hut somewhere on it. But thank God for my eyesight today o!

Black Man...was that a fun weekend? Please i'd like to know you definition of fun o!

Moni- Please come and gist us o

Oracle- Hahahahahaha- it was a grad party o

Chayoma- shebi its ur imagination, what happens to the me that saw it all live?

Nice anon- Decency is not a word that has space in their dictionary o

down the aisle- Lol...I thought the ment were hilarious...the ladies were the ones craving attention

Bad boi- I tried hard not to laugh but I caught myself staring half the time!

Red haired girl- OMG, you guys wont kill me...the need to be tried? More like sentenced to 5 years of Hard labour, which is shopping of course...with a die hard fahionista for a parole officer

No Long Thing said...

Maybe that is all they know. A word in the right ear might also have helped, but then, they might not listen.

NaijaBabe said...

Huh NLT...say what????

uNWrItten* said...

lolll...this is serious

RocNaija said...

I think NLT meant, "They probably didn't know any better, and a kind word from you might have helped, but then..."

Black Man Comes said...

Yes... Me. Hmm... we need to send you to more bumbling parties. But keeps smiling.

Tinu said...

kai!
them no try o!!
have a fab weekend!

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