To ask or not?

I one asked a friend if he'd had his HIV test done recently and just after that, I started to feel bad for a number of reasons but more because, regardless of how close a friend I regarded him as, I still felt like I was forcefully and wrongly invading his privacy.

That brought me to ask, as important as the question is in our dealings with people,is it still treated as a taboo?

Now forget the friends, do people with new partners or people who are about to start new relationships ask each other for their HIV status? Its easy to say there's nothing wrong with it because the basis of a relationship is trust. But I'm sure there are still some who would be scared to ask just so they don't bruise any egos.

Do most people even remember?

Should your trust begin after you're aware of their status or before? So would you ask before you kiss then? Seeing as it can be transmitted if the infected party has an open sore on the lip/ in the mouth?

Same as the sickle cell trait. I know someone who is a sickle cell carrier and makes it a point to ask if the guy (whom she's only just started talking to for about a week or so) is a carrier. Her reason being, she'd rather ask before emotions start to run high. Smart girl you'd say. I'd say that's 'ballsy' too. If he already ticks all other boxes, then that's the next step for her.

Honestly, I couldn't bring myself to do that at that point. Unfortunately, we'd have reached that comfort zone before I can ask and that's usually not the best. I'm not saying I won't, I just can't throw it in the 'getting to know you' part of the relationship.

So I ask you, honestly, would you ask you new partner for his/her HIV status before you as much as give him a kiss? Or you the AS carrier, would you be bold enough to ask before you get too comfortable?

As I thought, this one na serious JAMB question.
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6 Cogitations:

HoneyDame said...

Sssshoo!!! I dont know about the HIV question o,, but I know that I asked my boyfriend about his genotype after about 3-4 full blown conversations.
I was this close to having a conversation as thus:
Him: hey can I have your number?
Me: Maybe, after you tell me your genotype.

iKid iKid, but the conversation came in pretty earlier even before we both knew where we were headed

mizchif said...

Me, personally, for myself i may not ask in the beginning. I mean i may not even ask before sexual activity is involved as long as condoms are used EVERY SINGLE TIME. However if it's veering towards something more serious i would definitely ask.

I have a male friend who doesn't ask, he just insists you both get tested together and exchange results before any proceedings. Much simpler i think.

As for the AS situation, anyone who is a carrier should definitely ask early on in the "we're just talking" phase.

Unknown said...

I'm all for asking during the getting to know you stage oh, but that being said it sort of puts a weird damper on the mood doesn't it? It's like you're seriously invading their privacy

Adiya
http://museorigins.com

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