The complexities of blogging.
Too many people know and it just stops the flow of that tap of thoughts.
So, I finished exams like a few weeks ago and I lazied about for a whole week. Bliss I tell you. Sleep is such a good thing. Now I'm home for the week till I go back to reality. Yes, project calls. I shall succeed...AMEN!!
Honestly, things happened and I just lost the flare for blogging, not that I dont have things to say, its just that it gets a bit too complicated and too many eyes!!
Oh I have something to say...yes, whats the new fashion of 19, 20 year olds getting married or having kids. Is it madness? as in they leave their education and become mothers. I'm not saying its a bad thing, I love kids, I live with kids so I know what its like to be a mother so to speak.
But is it just me or don't we all have it etched in our skulls that we have to finish all this education shibang and then settle down to marry or do whatever comes after? So why go half way through uni and whatnot, only to leave it for something else when we all know that especially in Nigeria, without your degree, you can't take a step forward without being set back 5 steps?
I'm confused, cos I have two friends who were like 3 years my junior at secondary school and they both have a child each, and another girl at uni dropped out after her first year to go and have a baby and I'm thinking wow? Has our thinking changed so much that we have become lax as women or as a society?
At least one of them is now married to the father of the child, so I'm guessing the point of the marriage was because she was already with child but still I can't but my head around it or am I being too hypocritical?
Anyway, so my music mood has shifted and lately these are the songs I've been listening to.
It started with him.....
Happy holidays people!
One down...One to go...
....And six months to go!!
I have become sooo lazy with school work lately, I dont even understand myself anymore. I had an exam on monday and I feel on top of the world, like I have nothing to do anymore, meanwhile I have one more essay due and another exam, then I have to start worrying about getting a chunk of disso done before uni resumes in January.
God help me o!
But, I'm still looking forward to sleep time sha...Everly!
Ok, this is a very random post as I am in no form or shape to compose myself and write anything sensible, so I'll just rant about the songs I heard recently.
And oh shall I ADD, Mizchief, I AM STILL WAITING FOR THAT INVITE!!!! PLUS YELLOW DRESS....HAWTNESS!!
So Dare-Not the Girl.
Vocals...Hmm.. *This is me with a scrunched up face like someone just did a really nasty fart*.
I don't know sha but the deepness is kinda sexy to be honest, but not for the song, especially as its a really slow and nostalgic song...
So, Hmmm again!
And Mr Kilz...
He doesnt make me go shoobe doo da eh eh eh...
Oh hell no he doesnt......
If he walks into a room, I wont say sho be doo bee do da ehh to myself
But I still like the song sha
"I'd like to make this hard Ibo by feel soft inside"
Deep Jo!!
Pardon me...its 4am and in the library fixing an essay.
Shet! I need a Life after Monday!!!!
I have become sooo lazy with school work lately, I dont even understand myself anymore. I had an exam on monday and I feel on top of the world, like I have nothing to do anymore, meanwhile I have one more essay due and another exam, then I have to start worrying about getting a chunk of disso done before uni resumes in January.
God help me o!
But, I'm still looking forward to sleep time sha...Everly!
Ok, this is a very random post as I am in no form or shape to compose myself and write anything sensible, so I'll just rant about the songs I heard recently.
And oh shall I ADD, Mizchief, I AM STILL WAITING FOR THAT INVITE!!!! PLUS YELLOW DRESS....HAWTNESS!!
So Dare-Not the Girl.
Vocals...Hmm.. *This is me with a scrunched up face like someone just did a really nasty fart*.
I don't know sha but the deepness is kinda sexy to be honest, but not for the song, especially as its a really slow and nostalgic song...
So, Hmmm again!
And Mr Kilz...
He doesnt make me go shoobe doo da eh eh eh...
Oh hell no he doesnt......
If he walks into a room, I wont say sho be doo bee do da ehh to myself
But I still like the song sha
"I'd like to make this hard Ibo by feel soft inside"
Deep Jo!!
Pardon me...its 4am and in the library fixing an essay.
Shet! I need a Life after Monday!!!!
2 Months Sabbatical Leave...
...Has made me a different person.
Easily prone to worry and anger. That's who you become when you have less than six months left to finish the last lap of the beginning of your life...(whew that was a mouth full).
So...been gone for 2 months and things certainly haven't changed around here.
One of the reasons I started blogging was to release the thoughts in my head that I probably or most likely never shared with people, also, partly because no one knew who I was and partly because I wasn't allowed to take that English degree that I craved so much, I thought I'd take my writing somewhere else...or so I thought.
Till I started to meet and talk to people on blogger. It took a while to open up as I knew my blogging would suffer the consequences. Anyway, I took the plunge and I met quite a range of people.
I met the really sweet and mushy till it went a bit awol...I shall keep that part of my experience to myself..thank you very much.
I met the nice and talkative ones...gisting became a disease we found no cure for...till they decided to disappear off the face of blogger and the earth and that ended abruptly.
I met the snobbish and overtly condescending. I didn't think people with such combination existed, well I am snobbish but I don't think I am condescending, but then again I'm talking rubbish because they both mean absolutely the same thing.
I met the exceedingly hyper and friendly ones who make you believe that there are indeed people out there with so much energy in them that you can feel it in their words. They make you look like a slug half the time.
I met those whom, though write beautifully, are the worst set of people to converse with. It doesn't take long to figure out why those ones blog,
Then I met the shy ones, whom just like me, are very self confident on either blogger or msn, but in person are the meekest of souls ever.
And obviously comes the nasty ones are just outright NASTY! (Enough said).
Then again, I've met just 5 or so people over blogger, one in person. You'd wonder if all these applied per person or multiple attributes to one person or I dont count some people with the negative attitudes as those I know.
Obviously before or after meeting these people I began to pay great attention to other relationships over blogger and I realised that we all come to this online world to be one person or the other, to have friends, to relieve ourselves of stress or to just poke our noses in other people's business. Either way, I found interactions between alot of people to be very fake and pretentious. People did it to get recognised, or they just became friends so they could try out their new found personality. I found these quite bothersome and a bit too much to take.
But then life wasnt any different in the real world, in fact, probably even worse, so much so that I lost a few friends along the line, gained one or two, but who am I to judge their viability? How do I assess these people if I'd failed earlier? I became a recluse with no life, I pitied myself and blamed myself for being such a woeful judge of character, for being so gullible.
I then came to the realization that you cant stop the search for that person or those people that make you happy and bring out the best in you. The Yoruba have a saying that one hand doesn't wash itself clean, you need both. One man cannot be an island, neither can he make a nation.
However, I am not on a hunt for a friend, I am on a quest to find myself.
Maybe, I just might prove the saying wrong and make that nation.
I am back!!
Easily prone to worry and anger. That's who you become when you have less than six months left to finish the last lap of the beginning of your life...(whew that was a mouth full).
So...been gone for 2 months and things certainly haven't changed around here.
One of the reasons I started blogging was to release the thoughts in my head that I probably or most likely never shared with people, also, partly because no one knew who I was and partly because I wasn't allowed to take that English degree that I craved so much, I thought I'd take my writing somewhere else...or so I thought.
Till I started to meet and talk to people on blogger. It took a while to open up as I knew my blogging would suffer the consequences. Anyway, I took the plunge and I met quite a range of people.
I met the really sweet and mushy till it went a bit awol...I shall keep that part of my experience to myself..thank you very much.
I met the nice and talkative ones...gisting became a disease we found no cure for...till they decided to disappear off the face of blogger and the earth and that ended abruptly.
I met the snobbish and overtly condescending. I didn't think people with such combination existed, well I am snobbish but I don't think I am condescending, but then again I'm talking rubbish because they both mean absolutely the same thing.
I met the exceedingly hyper and friendly ones who make you believe that there are indeed people out there with so much energy in them that you can feel it in their words. They make you look like a slug half the time.
I met those whom, though write beautifully, are the worst set of people to converse with. It doesn't take long to figure out why those ones blog,
Then I met the shy ones, whom just like me, are very self confident on either blogger or msn, but in person are the meekest of souls ever.
And obviously comes the nasty ones are just outright NASTY! (Enough said).
Then again, I've met just 5 or so people over blogger, one in person. You'd wonder if all these applied per person or multiple attributes to one person or I dont count some people with the negative attitudes as those I know.
Obviously before or after meeting these people I began to pay great attention to other relationships over blogger and I realised that we all come to this online world to be one person or the other, to have friends, to relieve ourselves of stress or to just poke our noses in other people's business. Either way, I found interactions between alot of people to be very fake and pretentious. People did it to get recognised, or they just became friends so they could try out their new found personality. I found these quite bothersome and a bit too much to take.
But then life wasnt any different in the real world, in fact, probably even worse, so much so that I lost a few friends along the line, gained one or two, but who am I to judge their viability? How do I assess these people if I'd failed earlier? I became a recluse with no life, I pitied myself and blamed myself for being such a woeful judge of character, for being so gullible.
I then came to the realization that you cant stop the search for that person or those people that make you happy and bring out the best in you. The Yoruba have a saying that one hand doesn't wash itself clean, you need both. One man cannot be an island, neither can he make a nation.
However, I am not on a hunt for a friend, I am on a quest to find myself.
Maybe, I just might prove the saying wrong and make that nation.
I am back!!
Freshers Week!!!
For all those that expressed sincere concern when I was violated, thank you very much. For those that laughed at me, well I know my true friends now. For those that I called or text (you know yourselves) and did not respond, well I have no comment for you.I am still bruised, scarred and traumatised!!! (LOL)
Back to the post!! Its just full of random stuff but anyway
....No I'm not a fresher. It's just freshers week at my uni...they moved in and now the campus if heaving with these people, children to say the least! Someone made mention that all the people that start uni this year were born in the 90's....gosh I feel so old!!! Don''t you?
Anyways on a different note.........after so much back and forthing (does that even exist?) I finally met mizchief. I randomly chose somewhere to meet...guess where..lol Camden Market. Seeing as in all my years in this country,I hadnt been there, I thought we might as well both be tourists and roam the streets of camden. The babe said that place is scary, why do you want to go there? (I didnt get the hint), I said, haba, its afternoon, we will be fine.
I got there!!! Ha....nah its inexplicable! Heres why!
90% of the crowd had likeness in one form or the other to that guy with his red hair.
I think she took some pictures of the place but mehn, I looked like a blonde public school (fee paying school) girl in a university like Thames Valley or Brunel. Anyways I was lost and to top it up Mizchief had been there before! *Hiss* So it kinda ruined the excitement and she turned out to be showing me around...(bad bad). But it was fun anyway, I only had like and hour or so to spare so it was a short meeting. But trust me, she is as crazy as she sounds in her blogs.
Oh and she bought a T-shirt..with a large figure 8 on it...enough said!!! Fits her too much...go figure!!! Haha.
I is out!!
Later
Oh and needless to say that this is my favourite song of all time...ok maybe not all time but a fusion of these 2 artists will arouse the ....em yeah, you get what I mean. This was just too good.
Kinda the bases for some random decisions I took last week...haha!!! (Nope I'm not telling). But look at the video and tell me you disagree, then I shall assume you are either not normal or just lacking sensitivity...(lol no offence)
Back to the post!! Its just full of random stuff but anyway
....No I'm not a fresher. It's just freshers week at my uni...they moved in and now the campus if heaving with these people, children to say the least! Someone made mention that all the people that start uni this year were born in the 90's....gosh I feel so old!!! Don''t you?
Anyways on a different note.........after so much back and forthing (does that even exist?) I finally met mizchief. I randomly chose somewhere to meet...guess where..lol Camden Market. Seeing as in all my years in this country,I hadnt been there, I thought we might as well both be tourists and roam the streets of camden. The babe said that place is scary, why do you want to go there? (I didnt get the hint), I said, haba, its afternoon, we will be fine.
I got there!!! Ha....nah its inexplicable! Heres why!
90% of the crowd had likeness in one form or the other to that guy with his red hair.
I think she took some pictures of the place but mehn, I looked like a blonde public school (fee paying school) girl in a university like Thames Valley or Brunel. Anyways I was lost and to top it up Mizchief had been there before! *Hiss* So it kinda ruined the excitement and she turned out to be showing me around...(bad bad). But it was fun anyway, I only had like and hour or so to spare so it was a short meeting. But trust me, she is as crazy as she sounds in her blogs.
Oh and she bought a T-shirt..with a large figure 8 on it...enough said!!! Fits her too much...go figure!!! Haha.
I is out!!
Later
Oh and needless to say that this is my favourite song of all time...ok maybe not all time but a fusion of these 2 artists will arouse the ....em yeah, you get what I mean. This was just too good.
Kinda the bases for some random decisions I took last week...haha!!! (Nope I'm not telling). But look at the video and tell me you disagree, then I shall assume you are either not normal or just lacking sensitivity...(lol no offence)
Violated!!!!
So I was jejely in my bed the other day, pretty much the whole day.
It was a sunday, nothing to do. I'd just seen Titanic for God knows how many times and I still cried, especially when the old couple were in their bed, hugging each other and ready for death!!! Ah, not only is that mad love but confidence and acceptance of the fact that they have lived their lives and are ready to go. Hmm, I'm not quite sure but I don't think I can be in that frame of mind for a while....I dare say its only the elderly that can have that frame of mind...any other person that tells me they are, is chatting shit as far as I'm concerned....I digress.
Yeah so I had managed to get a shower and make some curry at about 8pm when my friend called me and demanded that I come to her house. She'd been begging and she was on her way to pick another of my friends up so I had to get dressed and wait for her. Got into my track suit bottoms, t shirt and hoodie...(something befitting for the night I presumed).
We got there and they got down to their naija movies, of which I'm not a big fan of...so most of what I did was criticize the whole thing and rant on and on about the steeeewwwpid movie!!!
As my boredom increased I asked my friend if she had some garri for babes. She did.....(now thats my kinda host) plus she had groundnuts too...and I was good to go.
I got to the kitchen, put my garri in the bowl, with sugar and groundnuts and then halt! No water. Have I mentioned that I don't drink tap water? No? Well, I dont, so if you dont have bottled water, dont offer me water or anything that I have to mix with water, i.e ribena and the lot.
She came into the kitchen and was like ohhh sorry, but you can use tap water now!! I looked at her and shook my head, thinking, I cant have this conversation with you again. Then she opened the fridge and found a small bottle of vittel and was like oh here's some water...use this and if it isnt enough, you can get some from the kettle and use some ice.
I did exactly as she told me.....the whole process seemed long but mehn I was bent on getting some garri that evening. I mixed it all up and as I walked into the living room, I took one spoon of the garri and it just didnt feel right
Yes!!!!!!!! My tongue was burrrrrrrning, unfortunately, some of it found its way down my throat and my throat literally fried at the feeling. I screamed and said to her, What the f*** was in that bottle???
You know what she said??? She walked towards me and was like oh my God, I am so so sorry.
It was VODKA!!!!!!!!!!
Man I was pisssedddd. She then said that her housemate had emptied the water in the bottle and filled it with vodka cos she was going clubbing and didnt want to buy any drinks at the club. All she wanted to do was buy coke at the bar and mix it with her own vodka....CHEAPSKATE OSHI!!!!
Ok maybe not....sorry to say that, she is a student like me and she has every right to do as she pleases. But damn I was so pissed off.
I just went back to the sofa sat down, and shut my mouth. They carried on with their naija movie and I wasnt even in the frame of mind to criticize anymore. Not only had she ruined my perfect evening with a bowl of garri...she had given me alcohol in the most unthinkable of waysss....
*HISS*
For those that think I'm ranting and over reacting.....I'm allowed to cos I dont drink and cos I'M ALLOWED TO....PERIOD!!!!
To worsen the situation she then asked me if I was a recovering alcoholic, cos I was pissed off so much. I just kept quiet ( as I always do when I'm pissed) and laid my head down to sleep. I could have picked up my hoodie and left but that would have been a bit too dramatic.
LOL at some point I thot I was drunk cos I was thinking all sorts in my head but I wasnt actually doing any of them, so I put it down to paranoia, but considering I had just downed a bottle of vodka into my garri, I guess I was allowed to think and vex.
Psheeeew.
My first taste of alcohol and it just had to be with my garri....
Nonsense and ingredient!!!!!
It was a sunday, nothing to do. I'd just seen Titanic for God knows how many times and I still cried, especially when the old couple were in their bed, hugging each other and ready for death!!! Ah, not only is that mad love but confidence and acceptance of the fact that they have lived their lives and are ready to go. Hmm, I'm not quite sure but I don't think I can be in that frame of mind for a while....I dare say its only the elderly that can have that frame of mind...any other person that tells me they are, is chatting shit as far as I'm concerned....I digress.
Yeah so I had managed to get a shower and make some curry at about 8pm when my friend called me and demanded that I come to her house. She'd been begging and she was on her way to pick another of my friends up so I had to get dressed and wait for her. Got into my track suit bottoms, t shirt and hoodie...(something befitting for the night I presumed).
We got there and they got down to their naija movies, of which I'm not a big fan of...so most of what I did was criticize the whole thing and rant on and on about the steeeewwwpid movie!!!
As my boredom increased I asked my friend if she had some garri for babes. She did.....(now thats my kinda host) plus she had groundnuts too...and I was good to go.
I got to the kitchen, put my garri in the bowl, with sugar and groundnuts and then halt! No water. Have I mentioned that I don't drink tap water? No? Well, I dont, so if you dont have bottled water, dont offer me water or anything that I have to mix with water, i.e ribena and the lot.
She came into the kitchen and was like ohhh sorry, but you can use tap water now!! I looked at her and shook my head, thinking, I cant have this conversation with you again. Then she opened the fridge and found a small bottle of vittel and was like oh here's some water...use this and if it isnt enough, you can get some from the kettle and use some ice.
I did exactly as she told me.....the whole process seemed long but mehn I was bent on getting some garri that evening. I mixed it all up and as I walked into the living room, I took one spoon of the garri and it just didnt feel right
Yes!!!!!!!! My tongue was burrrrrrrning, unfortunately, some of it found its way down my throat and my throat literally fried at the feeling. I screamed and said to her, What the f*** was in that bottle???
You know what she said??? She walked towards me and was like oh my God, I am so so sorry.
It was VODKA!!!!!!!!!!
Man I was pisssedddd. She then said that her housemate had emptied the water in the bottle and filled it with vodka cos she was going clubbing and didnt want to buy any drinks at the club. All she wanted to do was buy coke at the bar and mix it with her own vodka....CHEAPSKATE OSHI!!!!
Ok maybe not....sorry to say that, she is a student like me and she has every right to do as she pleases. But damn I was so pissed off.
I just went back to the sofa sat down, and shut my mouth. They carried on with their naija movie and I wasnt even in the frame of mind to criticize anymore. Not only had she ruined my perfect evening with a bowl of garri...she had given me alcohol in the most unthinkable of waysss....
*HISS*
For those that think I'm ranting and over reacting.....I'm allowed to cos I dont drink and cos I'M ALLOWED TO....PERIOD!!!!
To worsen the situation she then asked me if I was a recovering alcoholic, cos I was pissed off so much. I just kept quiet ( as I always do when I'm pissed) and laid my head down to sleep. I could have picked up my hoodie and left but that would have been a bit too dramatic.
LOL at some point I thot I was drunk cos I was thinking all sorts in my head but I wasnt actually doing any of them, so I put it down to paranoia, but considering I had just downed a bottle of vodka into my garri, I guess I was allowed to think and vex.
Psheeeew.
My first taste of alcohol and it just had to be with my garri....
Nonsense and ingredient!!!!!
Obsession, madness, OCD???
So please, anyone care to explain any of these terms to be cos I'm beginning to think there is something wrong with me o.
Ok maybe not that there's something wrong...we all know ( actually let me rephrase that to I know) that I am a mega weirdo, so things I do dont phase me, but it kinda bothers other people. So basically I need an analysis of the following....dont judge me...just analyse.
Flossing:
I am very paranoid when it comes to food being stuck between my teeth. Not so much that the spinach has made my teeth green, but its the fact that I can feel it there thats the problem. I floss countless number of times in a day. I have my floss in every bag, so when I change bags, I don't worry about moving it about. I go crazy when I can't find it. My little ones once unrolled a pack that I had, and I absolutely went beserk. That wasnt funny mehn.
Keeping tidy:
I'm not a neat freak or anything but,
-My clothes have to be ironed. I love the look of ironed clothes in my wardrobe. I arrange them from the thinnest to widest, depending on how they've been folded, so I kinda get a pyramid shape.
-When arranging things, I have to see the 'front' where the name of the item is written. Even if its a bottle of bleach. The part that says 'Domestos thick bleach' is the part that faces me, not the back with the barcode....Oh hell no.
So if you take my stuff and return it, I still know when its been used. Especiallyif its been returned facing the wrong way!!! I kinda got this from my mother, who got it from her father. It runs in my family.....I know!!!!!!!!!!!
Pens:
Ok here's the penned bit as most of you cant see it.
-It has to be black
-It's always black
-It has to have a lid. If it hasnt got a lid, then the pen is useless to me.
If the lid has been lost, the pen might as well be lost.
-If its a click pen, then it obviously doesnt need a lid.
-It has to be ball point or anything close to it, if it isnt, forget it!!
-Yes, I am a freak, one of those that write their names when trying out a pen. I can stand in WHSmith or Ryman for over half an hour trying a pen. It needs to feel right. Both on my fingers and on paper. **You know, how you have to try clothes on before you buy? Yeah thats what it is**
-Pilfering- Maybe not so much of pilfering, but obtaining. If you are unfortunate enough to have pens that perfectly fit the above description in either your pencil case, office or home or where ever, then be rest assurred that I will obtain it.
Hence, I do not borrow pens, neither do I lend mine out, if I do, then I will wait till you're done and then collect it.
Ok maybe not that there's something wrong...we all know ( actually let me rephrase that to I know) that I am a mega weirdo, so things I do dont phase me, but it kinda bothers other people. So basically I need an analysis of the following....dont judge me...just analyse.
Flossing:
I am very paranoid when it comes to food being stuck between my teeth. Not so much that the spinach has made my teeth green, but its the fact that I can feel it there thats the problem. I floss countless number of times in a day. I have my floss in every bag, so when I change bags, I don't worry about moving it about. I go crazy when I can't find it. My little ones once unrolled a pack that I had, and I absolutely went beserk. That wasnt funny mehn.
Keeping tidy:
I'm not a neat freak or anything but,
-My clothes have to be ironed. I love the look of ironed clothes in my wardrobe. I arrange them from the thinnest to widest, depending on how they've been folded, so I kinda get a pyramid shape.
-When arranging things, I have to see the 'front' where the name of the item is written. Even if its a bottle of bleach. The part that says 'Domestos thick bleach' is the part that faces me, not the back with the barcode....Oh hell no.
So if you take my stuff and return it, I still know when its been used. Especiallyif its been returned facing the wrong way!!! I kinda got this from my mother, who got it from her father. It runs in my family.....I know!!!!!!!!!!!
Pens:
Ok here's the penned bit as most of you cant see it.
-It has to be black
-It's always black
-It has to have a lid. If it hasnt got a lid, then the pen is useless to me.
If the lid has been lost, the pen might as well be lost.
-If its a click pen, then it obviously doesnt need a lid.
-It has to be ball point or anything close to it, if it isnt, forget it!!
-Yes, I am a freak, one of those that write their names when trying out a pen. I can stand in WHSmith or Ryman for over half an hour trying a pen. It needs to feel right. Both on my fingers and on paper. **You know, how you have to try clothes on before you buy? Yeah thats what it is**
-Pilfering- Maybe not so much of pilfering, but obtaining. If you are unfortunate enough to have pens that perfectly fit the above description in either your pencil case, office or home or where ever, then be rest assurred that I will obtain it.
Hence, I do not borrow pens, neither do I lend mine out, if I do, then I will wait till you're done and then collect it.
The New!!
Yes I am back....New year, New month! New life!!!
To those who dropped their 2 on the last post, thanks. I didnt have a rethink, lets just say I chilled. All I needed to do was vent. I think I'm a bit too meek to do shit! So thanks everyone.
Im backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...lol, not to blogger ( Technically I didnt go anywhere). To uni I mean
I'm a bit off point now but I'll be back with something more sensible....
I missed you tooooooooooooooooo much!!!
To those who dropped their 2 on the last post, thanks. I didnt have a rethink, lets just say I chilled. All I needed to do was vent. I think I'm a bit too meek to do shit! So thanks everyone.
Im backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...lol, not to blogger ( Technically I didnt go anywhere). To uni I mean
I'm a bit off point now but I'll be back with something more sensible....
I missed you tooooooooooooooooo much!!!
Beware.
For all those who have wronged me,
Beware.
Before the month of forgiveness approaches,
I will seek my revenge on ALL.
I will work my way from the bottom to the top.
Even to the minutest of things,
I will do the best I can to make them as miserable as I can.
No I will not be doing anyone any bodily harm
I have more than enough to shut down their emotional realm
To do enough psychological damage that can cause worse than any physical harm can
My silence is Golden
Yes, as cliche as it may sound, my silence is golden and it will bring me victory
My plans will work without any hitches.
My silence has been taken for stupidity,
Well unfortunately for them, I am not stupid.
No, this is no female chauvinism,
This is directed at both female and male
Who have brought myself and those within me grief.
My threshold of pain has been increased,
I have emboldened myself so that I can pull a poker face when they beg for forgiveness,
After that they will be left to feel the wrath of the most high.
Beware.
Before the month of forgiveness approaches,
I will seek my revenge on ALL.
I will work my way from the bottom to the top.
Even to the minutest of things,
I will do the best I can to make them as miserable as I can.
No I will not be doing anyone any bodily harm
I have more than enough to shut down their emotional realm
To do enough psychological damage that can cause worse than any physical harm can
My silence is Golden
Yes, as cliche as it may sound, my silence is golden and it will bring me victory
My plans will work without any hitches.
My silence has been taken for stupidity,
Well unfortunately for them, I am not stupid.
No, this is no female chauvinism,
This is directed at both female and male
Who have brought myself and those within me grief.
My threshold of pain has been increased,
I have emboldened myself so that I can pull a poker face when they beg for forgiveness,
After that they will be left to feel the wrath of the most high.
Today.
Today has been a day that I'm still yet to figure out.
Or maybe it all started from yesterday when I got the hints...hints that today might be what it is or get the revelation.
Today has been the day I have been called all sorts. Different names, I fear which is really mine. Am I so different that people see me in totally different lights. Would that be a good thing or a bad thing.
I have been called all sorts, but I have never been called all sorts in one day by all sorts.
I am patient, I am quiet. I can't remember the day I shouted at anyone, maybe because I don't remember doing so. Maybe because I never say anything.
Today I was a snob (Big deal)
Today I was more or less a child (Too young to be conversed with like an adult) At 21 I beg to ask what age I am an adult? (I didn't take it to heart if you think I did, It just made me wonder, thats all or maybe I just misconstrued it all...I apologise)
Today I was called a moaner (Yes I was in a mood, so big fucking deal, deal with it. I didn't take it out on you, I just said I didn't have the time to kneel at your crusty feet and wash them with my hands.)
Today I was called useless (Because I forgot to .... now I dont even remember what I forgot to do)
Today I was called stupid (Without words, I know when I am called stupid. Because I don't complain, because I don't say anything, doesn't mean I'm stupid, Just means you're stupid cos I cant be bothered to waste my precious time exchanging words that I know will make absolutely no sense to you)
Today I was called all sorts. I don't want to bother remembering.
Hard times are here and I cannot give in to worry.
I have a life ahead of me.
I have a dissertation ahead of me.
I have a project ahead of me.
I have a life ahead of me. I know I said that already.
Just goes to show that, that's all that really matters.
I am not one to worry, whatever happens, does so for a reason. I may not be able to decipher what it is, but I know there is one.
With that, I am taking a mini hiatus, or maybe a a maxi one. I am yet to find out.
I maybe a silent reader, or a loud one (ie via comments), but never fear blogger is still one click away.
If I could cut all ties with the world without dying, trust me I'll do so. But I shall try with the ties available to me i.e blogger, Facebook, messenger, and my phone (I don't get many calls, so its not a worry for me).
I love you all.
Never doubt that.
You most especially, you know who you are.
If you've ever thought otherwise, then you are highly mistaken.
A pity I cant change that right now.
Or maybe it all started from yesterday when I got the hints...hints that today might be what it is or get the revelation.
Today has been the day I have been called all sorts. Different names, I fear which is really mine. Am I so different that people see me in totally different lights. Would that be a good thing or a bad thing.
I have been called all sorts, but I have never been called all sorts in one day by all sorts.
I am patient, I am quiet. I can't remember the day I shouted at anyone, maybe because I don't remember doing so. Maybe because I never say anything.
Today I was a snob (Big deal)
Today I was more or less a child (Too young to be conversed with like an adult) At 21 I beg to ask what age I am an adult? (I didn't take it to heart if you think I did, It just made me wonder, thats all or maybe I just misconstrued it all...I apologise)
Today I was called a moaner (Yes I was in a mood, so big fucking deal, deal with it. I didn't take it out on you, I just said I didn't have the time to kneel at your crusty feet and wash them with my hands.)
Today I was called useless (Because I forgot to .... now I dont even remember what I forgot to do)
Today I was called stupid (Without words, I know when I am called stupid. Because I don't complain, because I don't say anything, doesn't mean I'm stupid, Just means you're stupid cos I cant be bothered to waste my precious time exchanging words that I know will make absolutely no sense to you)
Today I was called all sorts. I don't want to bother remembering.
Hard times are here and I cannot give in to worry.
I have a life ahead of me.
I have a dissertation ahead of me.
I have a project ahead of me.
I have a life ahead of me. I know I said that already.
Just goes to show that, that's all that really matters.
I am not one to worry, whatever happens, does so for a reason. I may not be able to decipher what it is, but I know there is one.
With that, I am taking a mini hiatus, or maybe a a maxi one. I am yet to find out.
I maybe a silent reader, or a loud one (ie via comments), but never fear blogger is still one click away.
If I could cut all ties with the world without dying, trust me I'll do so. But I shall try with the ties available to me i.e blogger, Facebook, messenger, and my phone (I don't get many calls, so its not a worry for me).
I love you all.
Never doubt that.
You most especially, you know who you are.
If you've ever thought otherwise, then you are highly mistaken.
A pity I cant change that right now.
Dear Mother II
A long time has indeed elapsed since my last letter,
In that time, a lot has ensued as well.
I hope you received my last letter.
I know it was signed with the unfamiliar pseudonym that I have recently adopted
And not that one oriki that you fondly called me.
The same one you were fondly called by your mother, of which she was called by hers too.
I decided to use that so as the keep the oriki between us,
Away from the prying eyes of these people (Yes YOU).
Yes, it is that time of the month, and it reminds me of the first time.
That morning, yes that morning.
Now I laugh, but then I didn't. It certainly wasn't funny.
It was supposed to be like any other morning, I was getting ready for school.
You heard me scream.
You thought I'd just seen my grandmother's ghost.
You were right! Well partially.
I had seen a ghost, though not mami's.
It was a red one. The red one.
The famous Miss P (or according to Buttercup, Aunty Flo)
She had come unexpectedly to jolt me to womanhood,
She was to stay and haunt my life for the next 30 years.
I was forlorn, because I knew she was early. Too early.
She must have caught the fast train. I was only in JSS 2.
My siblings had been much older,
But then again, I guess she'd used the choo choo train in their time.
Then it was time for the talk. I wasn't ready for it.
But fortunately for me, I didn't get the falsified version.
I wasn't told I'd be heavy with child if I held hands with a boy.
Though you didn't fail to emphasize that you'd make my life miserable if you did find me holding hands.
Though once again you said you would take care of the child and send me back to school.
After the talk, I got the chicken.
Yes the chicken. Like every young 'budding' Yoruba girl.
I got one killed specially for me. It was my day.
At the end of that day, I knew or rather I emphasized the fact that,
The weirdo I had become was from being the daughter of a weirdo.
I called you mega mother weird.
The weirdest this planet has ever seen.
Doesn't stop me from loving you
For not only does this hereditary weirdness make me unique,
The 'talk' made me a better person and I appreciated my sudden 'womanhood'.
I am happy with the woman that I have become as a result.
For that, I say thank you.
My daughter must surely get this talk,
Though not verbatim,
It will certainly be in the most mega mother weird way that I can give it.
NOTE: Those who have read, I have come to a conclusion that such utterences are not befitting for a post that is solely directed at my mother. So if you read the comments and wonder what the first few people have said....you can keep wondering.
In that time, a lot has ensued as well.
I hope you received my last letter.
I know it was signed with the unfamiliar pseudonym that I have recently adopted
And not that one oriki that you fondly called me.
The same one you were fondly called by your mother, of which she was called by hers too.
I decided to use that so as the keep the oriki between us,
Away from the prying eyes of these people (Yes YOU).
Yes, it is that time of the month, and it reminds me of the first time.
That morning, yes that morning.
Now I laugh, but then I didn't. It certainly wasn't funny.
It was supposed to be like any other morning, I was getting ready for school.
You heard me scream.
You thought I'd just seen my grandmother's ghost.
You were right! Well partially.
I had seen a ghost, though not mami's.
It was a red one. The red one.
The famous Miss P (or according to Buttercup, Aunty Flo)
She had come unexpectedly to jolt me to womanhood,
She was to stay and haunt my life for the next 30 years.
I was forlorn, because I knew she was early. Too early.
She must have caught the fast train. I was only in JSS 2.
My siblings had been much older,
But then again, I guess she'd used the choo choo train in their time.
Then it was time for the talk. I wasn't ready for it.
But fortunately for me, I didn't get the falsified version.
I wasn't told I'd be heavy with child if I held hands with a boy.
Though you didn't fail to emphasize that you'd make my life miserable if you did find me holding hands.
Though once again you said you would take care of the child and send me back to school.
After the talk, I got the chicken.
Yes the chicken. Like every young 'budding' Yoruba girl.
I got one killed specially for me. It was my day.
At the end of that day, I knew or rather I emphasized the fact that,
The weirdo I had become was from being the daughter of a weirdo.
I called you mega mother weird.
The weirdest this planet has ever seen.
Doesn't stop me from loving you
For not only does this hereditary weirdness make me unique,
The 'talk' made me a better person and I appreciated my sudden 'womanhood'.
I am happy with the woman that I have become as a result.
For that, I say thank you.
My daughter must surely get this talk,
Though not verbatim,
It will certainly be in the most mega mother weird way that I can give it.
NOTE: Those who have read, I have come to a conclusion that such utterences are not befitting for a post that is solely directed at my mother. So if you read the comments and wonder what the first few people have said....you can keep wondering.
